How would I go about looking my best self in 4 months?

[CrinklyCraggy]

I've had a really hard couple of years, caring for terminally ill DH during lockdown and then dealing with his death and its impact on me and our DC.

I've never been overly concerned about my appearance but generally considered myself "presentable". My standards have definitely slipped even lower over the last couple of years though and I feel old, scruffy, dowdy.

I'm just starting to get myself back out there socially and I've been invited to a do in May that involves lots of really fun people I last worked with 10 years ago. It's not particularly that I mind how they see me, but that it seems like a good target date. So what do I need to do? I'm never going to be a glamorous type, but just to look presentable, cared for, not like I've given up on life. What would you aim to do/have done in the next 4 months. I can throw some money at it, say up to £500 total, maybe plus clothes.

I do maintain regular haircuts and have naturally very blonde hair, so no need for colour to eat into the budget. I'm 51 and slim.

• Exercise (cardio and weights)
• A skincare routine from The Ordinary (depends on your skin type/issues but I'm around your age and swear by the buffet, retinol, and hydraluronic acid)
• Gel nails. You can get them done professionally or get a kit and do your own
• Go to John Lewis and get a style consultation and pick out a couple of outfits
• Get your legs waxed

I'd start with brows. Not necessarily microblading but at the very least a good shape and tint. You immediately look more groomed with good brows.

Would you consider having an analysis by a professional stylist to find out your shape/colour and what suits you and what doesn't, and how to put it all together? Emily Innes is very good and not expensive. It would save you buying things that don't suit you and end up unworn at the back of the wardrobe.

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time.

Apart from a hair cut, I think visiting a hygienist for a clean and polish, and maybe whitening your smile.

Mostly, I think, can you have a weekend away in a city with a spa hotel? Have a massage and some fun treatments, but mainly have a holiday, eat nice food, don't do the washing up, go round the shops and buy yourself something nice that makes you feel good. It can be clothes, shoes, a piece of jewellery to remember your loved one by, or something for your home. Just treat yourself, give yourself the present they would have given you if they could, knowing the time you've had, to cheer you up.

I think that will make you look 1000x better, and feel better too.

How is your bedtime routine? Do you have nice products for shower/bath? Do you have nice bedsheets/duvet/pillow? Do you have comfortable pyjamas? Do you have a device by your bed that can play music/audiobooks?

Sounds like you've had an incredibly tough time, my condolences to you and your kids for your loss.

With regards to your appearance, you don't need to colour your hair and you're happy with your size. Those are two biggies!

I definitely think starting a skincare regime is the first step and one that you can see benefits of really quickly. A balm cleanser and some retinol at night and a Vitamin C serum in the morning will do wonders. A bit of facial massage with a gua sha can really give a bit of glow too, whilst getting rid of puffiness.

Makeup too can perform minor miracles. Maybe use a highlighter (such as Charlotte Tilbury's Hollywood Filter) under your foundation for glowy skin. Trial a few lipsticks and find a shade that works for you. If i'm feeling a bit washed out some lipstick can really help.

Having your colours done is a good idea. Sounds a bit naff but can really help you see which colours make your face bloom.

OK, so I already exercise pretty much everyday, it was one thing I was strict about carving out time for during the worst of it.

I've recently been to the hygienist which, embarrassingly, I have to say hassle a huge difference. I have been considering teeth whitening but was put off by stories of how painful the sensitivity can be. I'm not concerned enough by my appearance to want to suffer for it!

I had my colours done 10 years ago and it does make it much easier to put outfits together, but I have got sidetracked by comfortable clothes...I've been considering a John Lewis personal shopper thing. What exactly happens?

Brows, definitely. I'm not good at makeup. I always end up taking most of it off because I feel like a clown!

Other than the obvious...sleep well, eat well, cut down on sugar and alcohol, exercise take vitamins...it sounds like you are after your "spark" back. Maybe try getting outdoors every day for some exercise, finding a new hobby you really enjoy, or just try to find something fun to do, and do it. I'm even going to suggest gardening. No idea why, as I loathe the idea, but I always feel really good after planting or digging.

I had my teeth whitened. Made such a difference. No problem with sensitivity.

I swear by neat brows, drink a lot of water (it will give you a natural glow) and fake tan for a less natural glow ;).

Brows definitely. A good tint and shape makes a massive difference. I'm also partial to a bit of botox to make me look and feel refreshed, might not be your thing but worth considering.