Easy everyday fashion and hair tips help? 41 yo mum of toddler (tired)

[MaidinChelsea79]

I'm sure this has been discussed before but couldn't find a thread. Looking for some ideas for easy everyday beauty and fashion that might give me a pep / boost. 🙏🙏

I'm 40+ with a toddler, looking and feeling knackered. (No childcare, we are on waiting list for nursery, and no family support.) My back is done in and I feel ancient!

I used to be fit but until we get dd into nursery I've no time to do anything except walking, so my once strong and toned size 12 5'9" body is now a sack of potatoes. I'm also more of a 14. I do feel genuinely like a sack of potatoes in my usually daily outfit of jeans and a jumper abs feel rubbish when I look in the mirror.

What I currently wear is Zara 90's jeans or Hush wide leg jeans (which are great from the thighs down but weren't made for anyone with a mum tum. They look bad. Jumpers all bobbly, and hair in a boring bun. Normally wear vejas with Velcro as they are quick to put back on at soft play!

My hair is curly and I often use a diffuser, but I can also blow dry it straight. However on the 2nd / 3rd ++ days after washing and styling it looks crap and so I just wear it up most of the time.

It's European quite flat boring hair, very dark but with greys appearing now so I've added highlights, but gone are the days of having shiny hair. Highlights don't seem to have helped much. What easy styles can I do except scraping it back into a bun?

What outfits can I wear for everyday running after toddler that don't make me feel like sack of potatoes?

I use bb cream and end up taking ages over make up as I feel it's the one thing I can control. Skin looking so tired though and I need to give up wine.

Anyway, any thoughts on simple everyday stuff? Thank you!!!

I feel you! I'm feeling rather a lot like a sack of potatoes too.

Running around after a toddler is probably better in trousers or leggings than a skirt/dress, although I'm a big fan of a dress with trainers as it's so easy. Maybe try a couple of midi dresses? Hush usually has a decent selection

I would recommend high waisted Spanx leggings and oversized shirts

Oh yeah, good shout about Spanx!!

You've described me (in a year's time, I'm 40 and my youngest is only 3mo atm!) to a T! Jeans and jumpers and jumpers and jeans... I'm not a big fan of leggings, but I like skinny trousers and jeggings, although the lack of pockets can be infuriating. I tried dungarees but they make me look pregnant so are not a feel-good choice! I like pleated midi skirts or patterned (with jumpers!) - I don't think they're particularly fashionable now but I don't really care. Pockets an issue again there though. But I still return to jeans and a jumper most of the week, especially if I'm in a hurry (which is most of the time with small children 🙄).

I've decided that the reason I reach for jeans and jumpers most of the time is that they work... so for me it's more about having nice ones that fit well, aren't tatty and aren't all plain or dull colours. And that are all interchangeable, easily washed/dried and not expensive, for when you get someone else's snot/vomit/poo on you. I found some nice bright jumpers in the sale at Zara in the last few weeks, and have replaced a few pairs of jeans so at least they're not tatty and fit a bit better, and are different cuts instead of all skinny. I've also got a couple of nice bright jumpers from H&M, inc a fuzzy bright teal one from the kids section (oversized in an age 13 seems to fit nicely on a 10-12).

Hair... no idea really. I hate having my hair down when it's likely to be grabbed and yanked, so it's either in that bun or a ponytail or more rarely a plait. I can't do fancy plaits but I like to think it looks intentionally messy... I used to do half up but don't like the colour contrast from highlights/balayage when it's half up. Definitely not cutting it short or having a fringe or anything I'd actually need to deal with daily! I have started using a wash in toner/colour which adds shine and makes my bleached bits look a nice coppery colour.

So not much help but at least you're not alone, and I'm watching for any useful tips!

Thanks @TravellingJack interesting!

I am very similar - I pull other stuff out of the wardrobe but then just decide it’s not practical! A few options when I have the energy that feel a bit better are:
Day dresses (cotton midi dress tripe) with pockets (with thermals under at the mo!) with trainers.
Dungaree dresses with leggings.
Slightly edgier straight ish midi skirt (leather? Thick cotton?) with jumper & nice tights.
Jumpers and jeans can look great with a bit of detail attention - roll up a sleeve, add a bit of jewellery, try jumpers on backwards…
Jumpsuits? I have a really nice one from gap although not so great for going to the loo…

I am the same as I hate doing my hair and feel alright about make up, but working out what bits of my routine actually make the most impact has helped quite a lot..For example even with full make up I still look like shit if I don’t straighten my fringe so now I ALWAYS straighten my fringe, as even if I then do nothing else as it makes the whole rest of my face look better. Same for eyebrows!
Bright lipstick seems to help too and looks good with messy hair and a hoodie…

Type not tripe…

I don’t have a toddler so feel free to totally ignore me - I just idly clicked into this post. The daily jeans and jumper uniform resonated with me though as I am mainly working from home but also on video calls most of the day.

Jeans and jumpers work for me - cold house, and I don’t want to fall into elasticated waists! So per pp, I have the nicest jeans and jumpers I can. I buy a lot from Depop, and my favourite knitwear brands are Arket and &otherstories, so I have those saved as searches. Jeans-wise I am quite hippy/big arse, so the styles that work for me are a cropped straight leg (Levi’s 501) or a high waisted tapered leg (Levi’s again, or Whistles). I am happy to spend on bottoms because my shape is quite difficult to dress. I also agree with pp re bright lipstick - I always wear red even if no other makeup and it brightens up my face no matter how knackered I am. My jewellery probably wouldn’t work for little hands, but I currently favour layers of gold pendants/chains, which are all not actual gold - Oliver Bonas does this stuff well at the moment I think.

So - again, feel free to tell me to shut up because no toddler wrangling - my tips would be buy nice versions of the things you like to wear, which fit you well. And if you can get them second hand, all the better for your bank balance!

Same as you OP.
I always feel better with good eyebrows.
Have gone blonde but now feel too blonde. Going to cut it all into a short bob. Long hair makes me feel more frumpy.
Agree about lipstick.
Never wear earrings since a gay male friend told me it made me look like somebody's aunt. Sigh.
I'm wearing a lot more black than I ever have.

I also love sweaty Betty leggings and hoodie

I'm exactly the same, skinny jeans and a jumper rotation.

I have found investing in some nice jumpers valuable. Not sure on budget restrictions, but hush, mint velvet etc. I find in this weather often in a coat so invested in a decent coat and nice pair of chelsea boots, so even if I am just in my scruff underneath I look okay from a distance. Little things like a pair or stud earings, or a nice belt make things look a bit more put together. I leave a lipstick in the car!

I’m also a 40+ toddler mum, and feel your pain. For me, what works is having an easy mix-n-match wardrobe of 5-6 jeans/bottoms and 8-10 tops that pretty much all work together. Tops are a mix of textures and patterns to give a bit of difference.

Occasionally for days when I know there may be less floor-play, I dig out smarter trousers or do tights and skirt (sometimes cord mini with loafers, other times midi with boots)

As well as the trainers, I have some great chunky Chelsea boots that pull on quickly at soft-play, and some patent loafers that smarten up everything.

For styling ideas, look at Wears My Money (but not too keen on her love of a buffet dress!)

Another thing is that I buy pretty much everything second hand via Vinted or charity shops, so if something gets wrecked, then no dramas.

Agreed on the lipstick front - someone told me once that bright lips provide a focus to distract away from other areas, so you can just throw it on knowing noone will see the eye bags / spots / whatever cos they are blinded by the lipstick

I'm 47 with a 4 year old what works for me is fly Chelsea boots they pull on so easily at soft play and after swimming etc . Pinafore dresses with leggings , . I buy lots of eBay so not to worried for stains. I can't really advise on hair as always in ponytail