Please help with curly hair

[EssexLioness]

I am currently in the menopause and my mostly straight hair has got more and more wavy. It’s now 2b/ 2c. I learned how to care for and style it and have been loving my new look. I had a full head of lovely defined curls, with very little effort required: some product scrunched in and that’s it.

However, in the last month it has suddenly started looking really dreadful, despite not changing my routine. I scrunch but the curls don’t hold at all, and just end up a fluffy mess.

I don’t use any heat (tried diffuser and it looked awful). I avoid silicone, use low poo method, usually add curl enhancer but this is no longer working. Tried gels in past but not keen. Never brush my hair dry.

Used clarifying shampoo this week but hasn’t helped. Also read that protein can be an issue so used protein mask and it’s no better.
I have an important family function next week and really want to go without looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards!
I just don’t know what else to try and I’m desperate. I feel like I am following all the advise to no avail.

Check out Curl Maven on Instagram. She recently did a set of posts on each hair type and there's ones for wavy hair.

My hair has changed with age too and the products I used to use stopped working so I had to change things up.

@Thesheerrelief thank you, I will check her out

I'm perimenopausal and my hair started behaving completely differently! I changed my products and also upped protein treatments. It's settling down again now thankfully.

Glad to hear your hair is settling down. I love the fact that my hair suddenly went curly, looked the best it ever has. I’m hoping that the birds nest look will go and I will get my lovely curls back 🤞

You can get a build up of product sometimes which stop it from curling. Give it a damn good wash followed by a conditioning mask. I set with leave in conditioner followed by mousse then twist into ringlets wrap in tshirt for one hour then put in loose pineapple (pony on top of head) and a hairnet, leave overnight and that should produce fabulous curls. Dont wash too often and add a little leave in conditioner each morning if needed

A Silk pillowcase is a total wonder. Just to add never brush or comb once dry, Just rake with fingers

Thank you @didot. I am doing all of that except for leaving my hair wrapped for an hour, so I will give that a go. I did read about product build up which is why I did clarifying shampoo but it is still a mess for some reason. Will keep persevering but it’s annoying to have gone from looking so good to so bad almost overnight with no changes to my hair routine

It's frustrating isn't it? I've always had curly hair and it's gone through every stage from frizz (thanks 80s), ringlets (90s grunge phase - no washing before it was cool), bouncy blow outs (00s) and now, in late 40s, def in peri-menopause, my hair rarely has two days the same.
I reckon hormones have a huge impact and my hair fluctuates daily from brilliant bouncy chunky curls to stringy naff dry hideousness.
Not helpful I know, but sometimes I think it's not to do with product/technique and more to do with internal factors and dark arts

Try superdrugs own mousse extra hold its bloody marvelous and super cheap. Get your ends cut off as that helps. Don't use hairspray its drying, curl cream is good, trevor sorbie does one but it's on line only. Oh good tip almost forgot it's not pleasant though, after you wash your hair final rinse in cold water and I do mean cold. Try to rinse it at the roots quickly then if you have long hair let it sit under cold tap, it makes the follicles sit flat and less frizzy and fly away but its horrible.

I'm in menopause hell too, hot hot hot

@Gherkingreen yes super frustrating. I work from home and whilst I’ve hardly seen anyone my hair has looked fabulous! Now I’m due to go to some big do with lots of people I’ve never met/ not seen for years, and my hair looks utterly shit!I like the idea of blaming dark arts! I actually got it to behave (sort of) this evening before going out, got home couple of hours later and looked in the mirror to see I resemble what-a-mess! What happened in that short time? 😩

@Ddot thank you, I do actually have some Superdrug mousse from before I swapped to more expensive products, so I will give that a go. I do use curl cream but now it refuses to do its job. Don’t relish a cold rinse in this weather but I will give it a try. Luckily hrt has tamed my hot flushes but now my body doesn’t seem to be able to regulate temperature at all. At night I have a mountain of blankets to keep warm, then at some point will end up shivering cold and so freezing that I can’t sleep. Eventually drop off then wake up boiling hot again. So annoying. But the brain fog is worst, it just seems to be getting worse week by week.

Oh and I don’t have a silk pillowcase but I do have a satin lined bonnet which is supposed to do the same thing

I'm also menopausal. My curly hair has been flat and frizzy recently so last night I did a rice water rinse for the first time (for protein). It's made a HUGE difference. My curls are back and my hair has volume again.

@EssexLioness product-wise, I currently use Pantene curl mousse, and Umberto Giannini gel which holds my curls brilliantly. I tried a small tube of Only Curls gel but it's no better than the UG one I use and way more expensive.
I was sceptical at first but my curls respond best when I add loads and loads of water when applying product, and squish, then diffuse and scrunch out the crunch.

Try the lady care menopause magnet it helps some people with hot flushes. I wear one and really feel the difference but dont work for everyone

My routine:
Wash with Redken Curvaceous Curls shampoo and conditioner twice a week. I use a clarifying duo every couple of weeks to reduce buildup.

Then I use a towel I found in TK Max that reduces frizz. Never rub your hair with the towel, you literally want to wrap your head and leave it like that for a few minutes so soak up the excess moisture. You can use an old t shirt to wrap your head in too, I do this sometimes if my towel is in the wash.
Then I use John Freda curl reviver-dream curls mousse, there’s two different ones on the market, one of them is crap the other mentioned above I’ve used for years and won’t use anything else. On top of that I put a dollop of Catwalk Curls Rock Amplifier, just one pump, rub through your hands then run through the ends avoiding roots.

Then I take sections of my hair and twist them around and finally scrunch. I try to wash and let dry naturally sometimes if I’m in a rush I’ll blow dry but the results definitely aren’t the same.

Another tip I saw on YouTube recently, if you part your hair, make sure you part it as close to the side of your head as possible, if it’s too close to the Center apparently it’s very ageing.
Either way I will always take a good section of the very top and get a big clip of some sort and clip it like that until it’s fully dry. This will give volume on top which is another important thing, u don’t want flat on top and volume at the sides.

I’m very sad I watch a lot of these videos 😂

Thanks for sharing all your tips and routines. I will work through each one until I find what works.

I have days were it just goes fuzzy but its generally the weather. Dont give up. If it was lovely not so long ago it can be again. Your hair can't change texture unless you've buggered it with chemicals, only the new growth can change.

I always use a product called curlsmith it didn't work for my friend but it makes my hair look amazing and natural not crispy.

You hair sounds very similar to mine. Mine was great for ages, then these last 2 weeks it's just been an awful frizzy mess for no reason! I tried a clarifying shampoo also, but it didn't seem to help. I lived with it for a bit and today it's much better. I know that doesn't help you with your event!

I use Only Curls products and they're great. But I've used them for a while. The only thing I can think of I did differently today was I'd run out of curl cream, so only used the Noughty leave in conditioner on my hair for styling. I don't know id our hair just gets sick of certain products.

If you figure anything out let me know! I've been feeling like a bedraggled mess

Unfortunately curls are weather permitting 🤣

@spidersenses sorry you are experiencing the same thing. It’s so frustrating isn’t it! I really hope both of us get more luck soon and if I find a magic answer I will be sure to let you know

I find with my hair which is very fluffy without product, the slower it dries the smoother the curl. I sleep with my hair damp, tied up in a scrunched up pineapple. I only wish it every ten days. I still! have times were it goes all wrong. If it dries horribly fuzzy I mix a concoction of leave in conditioner mousse and curl cream in a bottle with water, then apply all over till soaked, cover with a hairnet and my tshirt wrap and sleep. Did just that last night and it's back to its curly loveliness.