Does anyone feel like they don't make the most of themselves?

[2022WIP]

I have no good reason not to.

I have the time and money but frankly I'm lazy.

I don't exercise or eat well and slob about in leggings or ever do my hair or makeup! I feel embarrassed when I bump into someone I know.

Recently got my wedding pics back and I'm kicking myself for not making more of an effort in the lead up. I wish I had a nice hair in them and toned up before hand.

Has anyone gone from naturally lazy to polished? I feel I could look and feel so much better!

It doesn’t come naturally to me.

I do put on make up and wash my hair every morning even though I’ve got a tiny baby, but I don’t let DH leave until that’s done and I’m dressed because otherwise I just feel rubbish abd it’s easier not to leave the house.

I go and do maintenance like eyebrows, lash tint and pedicure every so often, not that regularly because I’m not made of money. Hair cut and coloured professionally. The colour only because I’m scared of damaging the stone in our new bathroom with hair dye, I didn’t care before

I have lots of gorgeous designer clothes (from charity shops I might add, the lovely local one is staffed by elderly ladies who will put a Burberry skirt at the same price as a Warehouse one)

but I need to br thinner to wear them soI’m working on that. I LOATHE exercise though, I’d rather just be hungry.

The other stuff- waxing, tanning, facials, I can’t be arsed with that and can’t really afford it either.

So I’m short, I do a bit, but I don’t enjoy being ‘pampered’ or have the budget or time to do it all. Apart from wishing I was thinner I don’t care too much though.

IN short. Although I am also a bit short

I think with all the Instagram perfection these days there is frankly TOO MUCH pressure on people to look presentable at all times.
I’m dealing with it by declaring that 20% of the effort is 80% of the result: clean body, clean brushed hair, a bit of concealer and eyebrow pencil plus comfortable neat clothes make me look presentable and everything else is a bonus.

I'm not polished by a long way, it's not my style as I'm more casual. But, I do now make the best of myself in my own way. Excellent diet and exercise, good skin care, spend money on tweakments and hair, and I do feel good. However, it is a huge amount of time and effort, significant money, and going without, and there is no way I'd have managed it when I was younger with a dependent family, or before wfh gave me my commute time back. Its kept me occupied during the lockdowns, but I'm not convinced I'll keep it up long term as it's such a commitment, and truly there is (usually) more to life. Oh, and you also quickly take the new improved you for granted, and start finding other faults with yourself!

I'm the opposite, I spend loads of time and money on myself but still pretty disappointed with the results. Might be better to always be thinking you could be doing more than to do more and realise it's still not where you'd ideally like to be especially as we age!

I’m lazy and have given up really. I am clean, but that’s it.

I can’t get motivated to do anything about it. Even if I buy lovely clothes, I’m so chaotic that the stuff that goes together is never clean at the same time. I can even look a mess in a uniform.

I think it’s partly because I’m so disorganised anyway, and can’t get myself into a routine.

I did try to only buy clothes in the same colour scheme so they would match. That didn’t work either, and my socks are always odd!

It’s more important to be healthy than just making the most of yourself for appearance sake. Eat healthy food, cut out the crap, drink lots of water, exercise then looking better comes naturally with it.
Get hair and eyebrows done then you’ll probably look good even in a bin bag

Maybe I do need to sort hair, eyebrows and moustache in my case 😂.

Agree that looking after your health is the key thing, and also emotional well being - I'm no expert but I've read often enough that self neglect can be a sign that something isn't right.

But other than that my view is, do the things you enjoy and stuff the rest. So I'm hugely vain about how I dress but by sone standards I probably don't make the most of myself cos I have little interest in make up, never paint my nails and sometimes wear clothes that don't suit me.

Thank you all.

I think I need a diet and exercise overhaul. I'm too thin and look hunched and haggard. Will prioritise getting healthy and eyebrows and neat nails. Realistically I'm too lazy to get them painted a colour and not let it get all chipped. So natural and neat will do!

As a PP said, social media is a killer! I watched an influencer earlier and thought she looks miles better than I did on my wedding day, just in her day to day life!

@Floisme the main problem with 'cutting out the crap' is that I bloody love all the crap!

Sorry @Wintersun that was to you, not Flo!

I think of all the things, eyebrows make a big difference. I go for wax , not thread, and it’s definitely the thing I consistently come back to if I need a pick me up. I had it done today with a lash tint too. It’s my birthday (36) and a couple of my friends have started to have a bit of ‘work’- but we are def not of that generation that goes for all the fillers and stuff like that. Or maybe it’s just not our style.

However sleep deprivation has not done me any favours so I might do something very subtle around the eyes next year.

If you're too thin you perhaps need to focus on getting as much decent nutrition into yourself as you can. When I got to 50 I decided that I needed to start caring for myself as though I was a sort of precious antique, and aim for nothing but the best inside and out. I picked out the foods that bring the most health ( and, allegedly, beauty!) benefits and made sure to eat as many as I could each day. It makes me feel a bit special to look at it this way.

@5128gap
I love this attitude - I'm 50 this year, I love the precious antique analogy.
Could you give us some daily diet examples - I really need to overhaul my diet as been on the Xmas wagon (and still on it!)

OP, I make a lot of effort with skincare and tools and make-up/fashion but feel like I do all of this and just look passable. I dread to think what I would look like au naturelle
I think you must be young or naturally pretty - everyone reaches a tipping point. I dis
If I just get by (basic skincare, no tools, no tan, no deep condition, crap diet, no exercise), I look ill and wan. If I step up, I don't necessarily always get compliments but at least I don't get asked '"are you ok? ".

What a wonderful way of looking at things @5128gap

[quote JMAngel1]@5128gap
I love this attitude - I'm 50 this year, I love the precious antique analogy.
Could you give us some daily diet examples - I really need to overhaul my diet as been on the Xmas wagon (and still on it!)

OP, I make a lot of effort with skincare and tools and make-up/fashion but feel like I do all of this and just look passable. I dread to think what I would look like au naturelle
I think you must be young or naturally pretty - everyone reaches a tipping point. I dis
If I just get by (basic skincare, no tools, no tan, no deep condition, crap diet, no exercise), I look ill and wan. If I step up, I don't necessarily always get compliments but at least I don't get asked '"are you ok? ".[/quote]
There are certain foods I try to eat as often as possible and my focus has been on including them rather than restricting other foods. I find by the time I've eaten my 'good' foods i don't have room for the rubbish anyway. My foods are: Dark berries, Greek yoghurt, honey, oats, Spinach, sweet potatoes, tomatos, brocoli, cauliflower, garlic. Then olive oil and sesame oil, plus various seeds, chia and flax sprinkled on yoghurt or porridge. I also like to use turmeric and cinnamon daily, and have good quality dark chocolate every day too. I don't eat any meat or fish anymore, though I used to eat salmon. Whole grain bread and rice. Very little processed.
It sounds dull but I've actually enjoyed getting creative using the foods I want to eat in different ways, and looking for recipes that incorporate them. I lost 2 stone and feel great.

I'm also 50 and try and look after myself with good food,movement and making a bit of an effort. I exercise at home early before the day gets going, intermittent fast.. take magnesium and zinc every second day .. always do hair and make up even if it's just for me. I do my own eyebrows and hair .. home hair dye and have a little hair removing machine that looks like a wand and is brilliant . Also focus on good quality food .. 85% dark choc/ oily fish sometimes and keep away from the sugar. I do enjoy treat days as well -love pizza but just can't have it that often . I'm nowhere near those Instagram pics that make us all sigh a little but these little
Things keep me strong inside and out.

@5128gap love the thought we are precious antiques ! I will remember this !

I'm 52 and having always been naturally slim and never having to worry about it, the weight gain over lockdown has come as a bit of a shock!

I let myself run amok over Christmas but woke up one morning and I was stiff and achey and felt (and looked!!) about 100 so something just flipped and I thought to myself that this may be the youngest I'll ever be but it definitely isn't the best I'll ever be.

I have decided that 2022 is the year I get fit and in the process I will slim back down, and tone up and I will care for myself far more.

Since that day I have not touched a drop of alcohol (from at least 2 glasses a night over the hols) and I have cut back all the junk. But even better I have really upped the ante with exercise and have walked a lot over the past 10 days.

I am now 6lbs down and feeling better in myself.

I have let my hair really go, it desperately needs to be coloured and cut. I have an appointment made for the weekend and will get both sorted.

My next aim is to purchase really good walking boots and all weather gear so I can't use the weather as an excuse to get out of going out.

I have vowed not to buy a single thing in the sales no matter how tempting, apart from the all weather stuff as I have LOADS of brand new stuff with tags on, all bought this time last year and none of it fits. So I will get into that stuff.

While I am busy walking and eating well and not shopping I will save as hard as I can to build up my savings more which will give me better financial security.

I LOVE the notion of treating myself like a precious antique! I'm totally adopting this!

I hope by Summer I will look and feel a hell of a lot better!

Well you just got married so somebody obviously loves you the way you are you can’t be that bad

If I lost a stone and toned up, fake tanned and had blonder hair I'd be an absolute weapon! 🤣 I'm 5'8, wearing heels I'm probably around the 6ft mark. Long legs. But with my pale skin and crap hair and the extra stone hanging around and my arse like a bag of spuds I'm under average.

I look at pictures of me back when I gave a fuck and although I looked good I wasn't any happier for it!

I'm the opposite, I spend loads of time and money on myself but still pretty disappointed with the results. Might be better to always be thinking you could be doing more than to do more and realise it's still not where you'd ideally like to be especially as we age!

Same here ☹️