How do you find your 'thing'?

[Weaselstoatferret]

I am hoping for some advice from those more stylish than me! I have lost my way style wise after 3 kids and looking to find a bit of style again.

I have been observing friends I think look great or random people I have seen and one thing I have noticed is they all seem to have a 'thing' - either a fringe, glasses, super shiny hair, bright coloured hair, a bold hair cut or tattoos, piercings, bold lipstick etc. I don't have any of those things and look very plain. I guess my thing maybe used to ne long nice hair but pp hairloss but an end to that and I needed to get the chop so now have very dull shoulder length hair.

I feel like I need to find something interesting to make me stand out but no idea where a 40 something overweight apple shape with thin flyaway hair should start 🤔

I’m not sure you need a “thing”? Sounds a bit Timmy Mallet to me.
If you feel your hair is full, how about a brighter colour - either highlights or a gorgeous copper depending upon your colouring?
I
Anyone can wear a bold lipstick / pop to a MAC counter for a try on session?
I love lots of bracelets - in a mix of black leather and gold / can give an edgy funky look to a simple outfit.
I think the important thing is to be true to yourself - don’t just get a bold statement style that you feel isn’t you.

I don't have a thing, but I started dressing/styling myself how I wanted, not how women around me did. I've always been 'alternative' but only in the sense that I'd rather wear t shirt, jeans and converse and I have dark hair, chunky glasses etc. but always tried to dress in girly clothes that I didn't feel comfortable in. Since my DH left me in April, I lost 5 stone and started to wear what I liked again and I've had so many compliments from friends/family to say how much happier I am. So rather than a thing, I think you just have to wear what makes you feel good and gives you the confidence that you think a 'thing' may give to you.

Attached of my usual kind of outfits that I feel much more comfortable in than traditionally girly clothing.

I know what you mean. Personally I think as we age we do need to wear bolder things to counteract becoming invisible. So maybe look at getting your colours done and get some items in your wow colours?

Bright colours are often not cool but they can look better than lots of nondescript black and grey in older women (not that you’re old). I think Prue Leith and Mary Berry are good examples and whilst a 40 something may not have an 80 something as their style icon, it just gives an idea of what I mean.

Perhaps you could try more of a distinct hairstyle say a bob, hair that just hangs there can be a bit nondescript too.

Sorry I posted this and then had a minor family emergency and forgot to come back. Thanks for the replies. @driftgames you look fabulous!

I have been thinking a bit more about this and I guess my main issue is that I just don't know what I want to look like anymore 🤷‍♀️ I have had my colours done previously so need to reread that and remember to make use of it. Probably my first step is to lose weight.

Totally agree about being true to yourself and maybe I don't need a 'thing'. Possibly not even the right way to describe it as have noticed in my people watching it isn't even necessarily a style choice as such. For example one of my friends has beautiful natural teeth and another has gorgeous natural auburn hair.

No advice but wanted to agree that @DriftGames you look great and that was such a positive message!

@Weaselstoatferret hope your family emergency is sorted now and all is well. Do try and focus on yourself and just do what makes you feel good! I know it's easier said than done but once you get in the mindset you really find your swing with it!

@1990s thank you! And I'm glad you saw a positive message in my response, that's exactly what I was looking for! I've spent so long stressing about what I look like and trying to fit in but now I take the attitude of, if I like it, have it! Whether that be clothing, shoes, makeup, a hairstyle. Just do it if you like it! The more confident you are, you can pretty much get away with anything

I can't say I look put together but I'm in my 50s and have only just discovered 'my thing' in lockdown.

I like a dress/pencil skirt, I always have but I got stuck in a jeans and a top rut. I bought a dress, and now I have many many dresses. The most recent ones all have a retro feel to them, I've actually found a style that is flattering and I feel comfortable in. Now, I just need to master drying the back of my hair and decide what to do about my eyebrows.

A starting point might be to ask yourself what you are unconsciously drawn to style-wise. Jeans, boots, trainers, retro, vintage, floral dresses, T-shirts and hoodies - and take it from there.

Late (ish) in life I have found that I love to live in jeans and sweatshirts or hoodies and ankle boots. Maybe not particularly stylish but it's MY style and I'm very comfortable. I also love scarves and dangly earrings. So that's what I wear!

And a good hair-cut, deep conditioning with either highlights or low-lights will always make you feel better and look more put together.