What to do with my hair?

[starme]

I need help! I have a lot of medium texture hair, that has a slight wave and is flyaway/frizzy. I'm mid to late 30s, virgin hair, but look very young for my age but in a corporate job where this doesn't help.

I'm not sure what to do with my hair, it tends to be up in a ponytail 99÷ of the time, if it's down it knots and goes rat taily.

Dear Mumsnet, is there a solution/wonder product? I'm terrible at blow drying as it takes so long. I asked for a long Bob last time I went to the hairdresser for a change, but they wouldn't take my hair above my shoulders as the shher amount would make it do a mushroom shape.

Open to ideas, I've had the same hair since being a teenager!

Do you use straighteners? My hair is similar and I’d be lost without mine- only takes ten mins to do and makes me feel so much more groomed. Stops tangles etc too

I too fear the "mushroom" - this is my current cut (sadly it's all I have in common with Ms Knightly).

I was just coming on to ask the same question.
I like mine straightened but it takes a while to do with several layers due to it’s thickness. I have a wylera type automatic curler which is easier than straighteners/ tongs if I want curls but it still takes ages. I just look so….. “Ungroomed” if I don’t style my hair.
I’m time poor, so am after this same wonder product OP! Something to define the waves would be nice. Bonus points if it can be used on wet hair as often grab a shower once kids are in bed and sleep with damp hair.
I did find that when my hair was a little shorter in a graduated bob that finished above my collar with some layers it sat nicely as it wasn’t hanging heavily on my shoulders and bumping it up. I’m just rubbish at getting it cut often enough to keep it that length.

Without seeing you face and the actual shape it's hard to say!

But if you have a professional, corporate role, it does look messy and a bit 'ungroomed'. (sorry)

Roughly, I'd say it needs to lose 4 inches so it's below your jawline but just touching your shoulders.

You might want to experiment with changing your parting to a side one (centre partings can look very child like and are not always flattering.)

You could also try bringing some hair forward from the crown to make it look like a fringe, (just comb it over!) and see if you suit a side fringe .

At the moment it is just dumped on your shoulders and isn't doing much for you.

You have lovely thick hair and lots of it, but it needs taming somehow!

My hair is very similar texture-wise - Redken's All Soft range is a life saver - shampoo, conditioner and the heavy cream for a bit of TLC.

Get a Brazilian blow dry. Spendy , but worth every penny.

You could wear it in a French twist, and maybe consider a see through fringe.

If you're in a corporate role then you can throw money at the problem. Get yourself some cloud nine straighteners. Sorted.

I’d you aren’t going to blow dry it (I don’t blame you- I hate drying) I would get lots of layers put in and let the natural wave be a proper feature.

You have much nicer hair than you think you have. If you can be bothered then use straighteners or blow dry it on a Sunday night so you have a couple of days of straight hair.

Aveda Damage repair is good for smoothing out hair.

My hair is long but flatish so I have to blow dry it to give it body, you're very lucky you have natural body

Agree with all posters here, you have lovely hair that looks easy to style. I would get some wide plate straighteners , the Diva brand are great. Invest in some good hair heat protector, the Kerastase Nectar Thermique is brilliant for your hair type- use a small amount on towel dried hair to tame flyaways and heat protect. Finish with a tiny drop of Kerastase gold Elixir oil. These are pricey products but last forever and you need v small amounts. Bonus is that the gold elixir oil smells amazing so you don't need perfume! When straightening make sure hair is completely dry, take small sections so you only need to go over a section once. This helps to keep the hair healthy! In mornings when you dont have time, I would do a slick low bun, just you tube how to do. And I would get some low maintenance natural blonde balayage to spice up the colour.

L’Oréal steam pod - you can buy it for thick or thin hair. It will change your life! I have a lions mane which is so much more manageable with steam pod. 👍

Thank you all! I do have straighteners, (I replaced my ancient ghds with some reasonable Revlon ones) but i haven't been using them lately. I'd finish drying my hair, straighten then wake up the next day and find there must have been moisture left as it was back to how it was. Will have to make more if an effort. I recently bought the babyliss big hair, but have been underwhelmed.

Ive had a Brazilian blowout years ago in the days when Groupon was big, but it wasn't great. Potentially time to try again.

As for the products mentioned above, I'll investigate and give them a try. I like the idea of aiming for a French pleat as well if I can pull it off!

I think straightening it would look really nice. Have you tried wearing it half up?

A Gibson roll is soooo easy and looks very professional!

Or invest in a Dyson hairdryer then it will dry in a few minutes and run the straighteners through afterwards. Wash every other day and sort of wet it down a bit the in between day.

I’d try a boyfriend bob. They are meant for an undone look.

I have similar hair (having grown it from a graduated bob during lockdown). I like the fact that I can now do different things with it. I often put mine in a ponytail or sometimes use a hair claw (which I feel looks a little more professional). I'd love to know how to do some different things with it though.

Following only mine is fine, longer, highlighted and damaged due to lockdown disaster.

My new hairdresser suggested using GHDs occasionally to straighten with heat protector. I ditched my GHDs after they broke but considering buying a new set.

I agree with the Brazilian Blow Dry suggestions, I first had one maybe 10 years ago and I think the products are much better now. You'll be amazed at suddenly having the swishy manageable hair you always wanted.
I don't have them all of the time, so my go to products in between times are GHD split end therapy, Olaplex No 8 mask and Olaplex No 7 bonding oil. I also use a Kerastase moisturising shampoo, a good shampoo, not too harshly detergent based, makes a big difference to my hair.

I have similar hair but coarser in texture. I picked up Living Proof Night Cap in M&S black Friday sale and it seems to help. I wash and dry hair before bed, put two pumps through my hair and it seems to smooth things out a bit. A quick once over with fat tongs or straighteners the next day and I get 2 or possibly 3 days from it. A satin pillowcase has also helped smooth things out.

Dyson hairdryer , ghd glide , agree re low bun for work and the oil

I use hair clips /combs etc from this site
tegenaccessories.co.uk/
to help me do half up styles etc