I'm so frumpy

[Starlive23]

I didn't notice it fully until I saw a (rare) photo of me recently. I think deep down I've known for a while. I've lost a bit of the baby weight (ds is 8 months) but the rest of it has just gravitated towards my belly like Homer Simpson. I just have no confidence at all in the way I look. I don't have much time for exercise or self care but part of me just thinks what's the point.

It's like I've given up, haven't had my hair cut for a year at least, don't bother to put make up on. I just hate the way I look. I know I'm a lot heavier but it's more the way I carry weight and the clothes I wear seem to make me look hunched over and mountainous. Sorry for the little rant, I just feel like I've lost myself. I'm due back at work next week and it's just dawned on me really that I'm just so dowdy looking all the time.

I'm sure others have felt like this, I know it's common but where do I start? I don't know how to overcome the complete lack of confidence.

I had my colours done by House of Colour which was a game changer. I also did Styled by Susie which wasn't so useful (they got my season wrong) but it did have some helpful hints for what to wear for my shape.

Basically I've been dressing for a rectangle and I'm really more of a pear now. They recommend jeans that suit your body shape.

I've bought decent fitting jeans and a top, some eye and lip makeup for my season, and I feel better already. I've booked a hair cut for next week.

So in short good fitting bottoms and lipstick goes a long way.

I felt like this after all my kids. With 2 & 3 honestly, truly the thing that worked for me was to follow threads on here and then invest a bit in myself. Say about £300 total on haircuts, basic skin care and clothes that fit (especially underwear!).

I don’t know if that is possible for you, but I do think many of us go through it and do find our way back. Take care, it really doesn’t last forever.

I found going back to work actually helped because I could nip out at lunch for clothes and makeup and was able to concentrate better. Can you set aside a Saturday or a daycare trial day to spend some time on yourself.

A couple of flowing (trapeze?) dresses where the emphasis is on shoulders or the hem keeps the eyes off your tummy or wide leg trousers can balance you out. But yes I’m definitely frumpy post baby!

Try podcasts like Loosing 100 pounds as they are good for checking the way you’re thinking/talking to yourself - there’s a lot you could do in a week if you are able to think clearly about it.

Actually I don’t mean weight loss in a week but things like booking a haircut if someone could come to your house or doing a clothes swap with someone or going through your wardrobe trying stuff on to figure out what you need. You need a bit of headspace for planning it.

Having a colour and style day by House Of Colour will be the best investment you will ever make if you care about your appearance.
You will feel and look fabulous and save a fortune over your lifetime.

Thank you for suggestions! I put some mascara on today for the first time in ages which I suppose is a small first step. I'd love to book consultation at House of Colour but my budget is so tight, money is such an issue so anything I do buy needs to count, I've bought some really badly fitting stuff since pregnancy.

OP I could have written your post, except my baby is older!

I KNOW I'm wearing badly fitting frumpy clothes but can't seem to change it. It gets me down.

I instantly felt better when I got my hair done properly though