If you're in your 60s or 70s and still look good, what advice would you give younger women?

[Ilikepalindromes]

Do you have one tip or product you would recommend?

Refuse to be invisible. If you like leopard print and red lipstick, keep them. Shun beige.

Look after your skin. Always use sunscreen, wash your face properly with cleanser and a flannel and moisturise.

Don’t worry about gaining a bit of weight, your face will look better and it’s easier to disguise your arse than your face.

Always try new things and buy those that suit you. Nobody’s ever too old for a leather biker jacket or hiking boots with a dress. There’s nothing more ageing than looking as if you’re stuck in a time warp.

It doesn’t matter whether you colour your hair or not - personally I’d avoid pink hair - but get a good cut and maintain it.

Both my mother and grandma had amazing skin. Their color snd skin texture was gorgeous—my grandmother looked amazing into her 80s and my mom died in her 70s. Neither did much of anything—ivory soap, sometimes Clinique visibly different moisturizer, but rarely. I think it is genetics, good bone structure, snd almost no sun.

@Blossomtoes I agree re the weight. I think it’s so bad on the joints to be overweight but likewise if you lose too much in your 60’s + your face looks scrawny.
My late mother in law looked decades older than her age, she was a life long sun worshipper refusing to wear sunscreen and had leathery skin. Also a heavy smoker which gave her lines.she was also obsessed with staying a size 8 and it def didn’t suit her in her 70’s

Have joy in your life. I worked with someone once who found no joy in anything, rarely smiled and was very pessimistic. She also looks years older than her age

smile, smile, smile
decent hair cut,
posture

@AlbertBridge

I always ask this to any of my elderly patients that look amazing.

Most say they used Nivea all their lives and one said they used Vaseline

Yep, it’s basically genes isn’t it?

How did you get genes from that post? I got Nivea.

Because it clearly isn't Nivea, is it

I did all the right things, kept out of the sun, moisturise, eat well, active, don't drink much, never smoked etc, etc, looked youthful until my mid 40's then it all nose dived. The most ageing thing is how your face sags and there isn't anything you can do about that (other than expensive invasive interventions).

My Dad's face sagged badly and I take after him. Its genetic.

I'm sorry but nothing pisses me off quite like being told to smile, whether it's from random men in the street or women on Mumsnet.

I do get that.

But there’s a big difference between saying that in this context - in which it actually is valid as the more you smile the happier you feel, which in turn will affect how you carry yourself and how you come across to others, and being implicitly told by random men that you’ve an obligation to smile/look happy/look your best etc for the benefit of others.

As a piece of advice on how to look better it’s just as valid as any other helpful advice people might offer.

@Floisme

I'm sorry but nothing pisses me off quite like being told to smile, whether it's from random men in the street or women on Mumsnet.

I know. But unfortunately it’s excellent advice! A smile replacing my grumpy, resting bitchy face takes ten years off me.

The point is that sometimes women feel thoughtful or serious or sad or yes, cross and grumpy and, when I do, I really don't care how old it makes me look. I am tired of this endless narrative that we should always look cheerful and positive and younger than we are.

And now I will leave you too it as I realise this isn't a popular or festive opinion.

@Floisme

The point is that sometimes women feel thoughtful or serious or sad or yes, cross and grumpy and, when I do, I really don't care how old it makes me look. I am tired of this endless narrative that we should always look cheerful and positive and younger than we are.

And now I will leave you too it as I realise this isn't a popular or festive opinion.

This is a good point.

I'll admit I am struggling with starting to age, but if a desire to fight ageing makes me suppress my full humanity, feeling and thoughts, then that is perhaps a battle I don't want to win anyway.

I completely agree with you on that, so I’m really not intending to argue.

But the breadth of a woman’s inner world - her likes and dislikes, fears, anger, sadness, hopes, dreams, intellect and passions are on an entirely different level to her physical attributes and ‘looking good’. They exist independently, and, at least in my case, will come through loud and clear regardless. I value that inner part of me far more, always have, and will always be of the opinion that if others don’t, they can fuck right off.

However I can plaster a big beautiful smile on my face if I need to, claim a room when I walk into it if I need to, talk animatedly and be intensely engaged with an individual or a group if I need to - just like I can put on a fantastic coat or great shoes or a striking hat and make a very clear and deliberate statement when I want to, without it taking anything away from me as a person or my authenticity as a feminist or my ability to be true to my inner self.

I had thought that OP was looking for tips on how to look good. I answered because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good. But to be honest I find the whole idea that we need to ‘look good’, first of all, but more specifically that we must ‘make the best of yourselves’, ‘dress in a way that flatters you’, ‘only show those parts of you that fit the attractiveness ideal’, ‘age well or you don’t count’ ‘don’t age or you don’t count’ and frankly, most things related to the tyranny of fashion and particularly in respect to ageing, utterly rage inducing. I rebel against them more than I ever fall in with them and hence, spend a LOT of my time angry at the narrative(s) we’re all made to swallow in that regard.

But I still enjoy fashion, i still like feeling good in what I’m wearing, I still wear make up sometimes (when I can be bothered). I still like my hair to look good and my outfit to make a great impression. That’s part of who I am. In many ways style is substance, as I’ve argued many times before on S&B/feminism/wherever the topic comes up, and although I rebel against the overall narrative, I am free to enjoy whatever elements I want without it compromising my position on the ills of fashion or the ills of female oppression.

Smiling is similar. Of course I don’t owe smiling to anybody and of course I don’t need to be some bloody smiling robot, but OP was specifically asking how to look good. I quite naturally and organically smile when I want or need to be ‘on’, because it’s an important part of looking your best/looking good/whatever you want to call it. If you want to look great a smile, and with it, an engaging manner, helps a lot.

If the above has no coherent line of thought or clear conclusion to it it’s because today is my 7th day of being ill. I know what I want to say but I’m not sure I got it out.

In any case, OP, if you don’t want to smile when you’re not in the mood, you don’t need to.

@Floisme

The point is that sometimes women feel thoughtful or serious or sad or yes, cross and grumpy and, when I do, I really don't care how old it makes me look. I am tired of this endless narrative that we should always look cheerful and positive and younger than we are.

And now I will leave you too it as I realise this isn't a popular or festive opinion.

I agree. But the point for me is that I permanently look miserable and grumpy these days because of the lines round my mouth, it’s now the default, even if I’m inwardly happy and content. Basically my face lies.

I’m early 50s but work with some amazing older women.
So I’m going to say - be as successful as you can. It’s just so damn sexy. Knowing you can do what the fuck you want because you’re the top of your tree.

My mum is seventy and looks pretty damn good. She’s neither fat nor thin (size 14), hasn’t ever yo yo dieted with I don’t think helps. Eats very well and cooks from scratch. Drinks more than the average Mumsnetter (not hard), doesn’t drink copious water, doesn’t wear sunscreen each day to my knowledge.

Sadly for some it’s just good genes. My grandfather didn’t age particularly, full head of faded auburn hair at 89, no real wrinkles, but ate very sensibly (was vegetarian and ate more of a Mediterranean diet when he was considered an utter crank for doing so back in the days when olive oil was what you stuck in your ears).

I’m 46 and am just starting to get very fine lines, so am on it. If they get way worse then baby Botox will be had!!

@DramaAlpaca

I'm late 50s so not quite in your target age group but close to it:

Don't smoke
Drink loads of water
Minimal alcohol
Sunscreen
Look after your teeth

Oh, and you need fewer calories than you'd think post menopause but it's actually beneficial to carry a little bit of extra weight as it protects your bones.

Spot on @DramaAlpaca! Also use retinol & microneedling. Eat a healthy diet, lots of colours of fruit and vegetables. Absolutely avoid sugar, it is terribly ageing. Try to avoid stress, easier said than done, or try meditation.

Don't smoke, don't get sunburn, wear a shady hat in the sun, wash face with soap and water. Eat a wide variety of fresh wholesome food and cultivate good sleep habits and some/any kind of outdoor activity that gets you outside in the fresh air.

@Knittingnanny

Have joy in your life. I worked with someone once who found no joy in anything, rarely smiled and was very pessimistic. She also looks years older than her age

I will second that, be happy and smile you will look much more attractive, don’t age yourself by too much sun, smoking or alcohol obviously use a good moisturizer.

I am not far off 60, my big tip is: look after your teeth and gums and don't be afraid to spend money on your teeth in the same way you spend on your hair (if you can afford it).

This is a lovely thread.

I just realised I’m mid-forties so I’m not even really supposed to be giving advice on this thread! 😄

Ah well. There’s wine to be had. Happy evening everyone!🍷

If you want on one tip it is without a doubt SUNSCREEN!!

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I loved your post. And I would add, it's a long way from style and beauty but don't be afraid to take up space, back your own opinions and have things you need and want. If not now, then when?

Don't wear your glasses when looking at the mirror
Or
look in the mirror after your bath/shower - when its misted up
&
most of all you don't have to compete anymore!
invest in the best haircut you can afford & decent haircare (shampoo & conditioners)

Genes first, positive outlook on life second, then hair and teeth.