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Tweens Curly Hair

12 replies

Twistedsis1 · 11/12/2021 13:50

Hi,

My 12 year old daughter has very thick dry curly/wirey hair.

Up until now she has always had her grandma give her a trim to maintain her hair.

I want to take her to the hairdressers for a nice cut that will help maintain the frizziness and make it more manageable but struggling on what to ask for.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

OP posts:
gunnersgold · 11/12/2021 16:52

Does she use any product ? I have curly hair and would have a mass of frizz without product ! And a diffuser !

MeltedButter · 11/12/2021 16:54

A haircut won't make a difference to frizz. Make sure you go to a hairdresser that has experience of curly hair.

ChoporNot · 11/12/2021 17:17

The cut will not maintain the frizziness - that is down to care/products. I'd say google the curly girl method but you would probably drown in results, conflicting advice and give up (not a reflection on you at all - just on how much is written about it).

But in essence to get rid of the frizz she needs to:

  1. Throw away her hairbrushes. Never, ever brush curly hair. Only detangle with a wide tooth comb when wet/covered in conditioner. It is very fragile and yanking at tangles in curly hair = breakage = more frizz.

  2. Moisture. In the form of lots of conditioner. Curly hair is drier - the natural oils do not travel down curly hair like straight hair. She is unlilkely to ever, ever have greasy hair. But you need to condition it. By a) not stripping the natural oils with harsh sulphate shampoos. And lots, and lot of conditioner. In fact a lot of curlies wash their hair with conditioner. I do. A silicon free conditioner (which means it is water soluble so does not need stripping from the hair with soap-y/foam shampoos_. The scrubbing motion is enough to wash the hair and scalp. Especially as it is not prone to oil. So "wash" with conditioner. Then condition. Comb though with a wide tooth comb and then really really squish it in. Gently cup the curls from the bottom towards the scalp. Squish, squish, sqush. Rinse. Then if particularly dry hair take a 10p blob of the same conditioner and comb through and leave it in.

  3. Blot /squish dry with an old tea towel or microfibre towel. Then rake through some curly friendly gel (see below) a big blob of it. Squish that in again. Gently, towards the scalp. Do not scrub with a regular towel as that = frizz.

  4. Leave to dry. It will dry crispy as the gel "sets". This is good. You can gently diffuse. Do not brush. When dry do the gentle squish movement again which will break the gel cast and leave her with soft curls with no crunch. She may not need the gel. Maybe try to start with with out. But the gel helps define to curl and stop frizz.
    5)To sleep - put her hair in a pineapple- high pony tail on top of her head. This will help protect the curls.
    Invest in a satin or silk pillow slip. Again, helps protect the curls.

In the morning take out the pony tail and leave it to settle for a few minutes. Then some neat conditioner again about 10p size rubbed in hands and applied neat over the top layer of hair should ease any frizz. Or try a spray bottle of water/conditioner mixed. Depends on her hair how much extra moisture she needs in the mornings.

It is a trial and error method. What products you find works for you may not work for someone else.

But
Moisture (condition)
Protect (nothing harsh and don't brush)

I personally use Faith in Nature Dragon Fruit conditioner to wash, their Rose conditioner to condition/leave in . I then use Umberto Gianni Curl Jelly as my gel. Refresh in the mornings with slightly watery Rose conditoner.

But they may not suit your daughter's hair. Hers could be thicker, finer, curlier, wavier.

However - conditioners - avoid silicons. Avoid sulphates. Gels avoid alcohols (I think). Some hair loves conditioners with coconut - some hair hates it.

Sometimes it is the cheaper products that are "Curly-Girl-Friendly" - so Tescos tubs of cheap blue gel used to be. Alberto Balsam conditioners (poundland) - some of these are. What I would suggest is using www.curlsbot.com Cut and paste online ingredients list into it and it tells you if gentle enough to use. And try cheaper products first.

Lorraine Massey did a book, Maybe buy a copy for your DD (rather than going down the rabbit-hole that can be on line). She will have curly hair for life.

Once you have tamed the frizz a bit then yes a haircut. But the cut will not tame the frizz.

ChoporNot · 11/12/2021 17:17

Sorry for the epic post.

ChoporNot · 11/12/2021 17:18

Epic as in long.. rather than amazing Blush

littlebilliie · 11/12/2021 17:22

Check out curly girl my hair was ruined as a teen as my mother didn't understand curly hair

wtfisthatspiderdoing · 11/12/2021 17:22

@ChoporNot I haven't even got curly hair but I found your epic post fascinating! Great job giving such excellent detailed advice!

ChoporNot · 11/12/2021 17:36

@Twistedsis1 where do you live? If you can afford it you could get a curl-specialist hair cut. Lorraine Massey did some training a few years back in the UK so gradually curly-girl (and other) specialists are becoming more prevalent. Which is a god-send after years of curly hair not being part of the curriculum for hairdressing qualifications. Yes - you read that. No specialist training for cutting curly hair.

Anyone with curly hair will tell you of the numeroud disasters they have had by the "All our stylists can cut curly hair" response. No they fucking can't. Drag wet, curly hair straight with a fine tooth comb...cut...and wow - what happens when it dries...it is about 1/2/3 cm shorter than you thought because it is curly..it springs up!!. Curls are different/curlier at the back than the front, the underneath the top. Or for other curlies, the reverse.

So, sorry. Rant over. Basically, a dry cut if you can get it is best. Individual curls are cut to take into account how they sit when dry. They take longer so are more expensive (mine cost £70-odd). But I only need a cut every 8/9 months. It is not the only way to cut curly hair but I love it.

I am not sure if this link will work - but it is a curly-stylist finder www.google.com/maps/d/u/1/viewer?fbclid=IwAR1N7EbFZaoGkMAoMQMYmqb6H59J19Ctu-c4L2XTq9ulf1vURbl_uZ-0oE0&ll=50.91625168530277%2C-1.2757651888773602&z=17&mid=11kyPPDJ6AHNbdDHBg56xgvr103RvMHL6 from a FB I am on. If it doesn't PM your rough location and I can see if I can find some local salons with proper training for you.

FlibbertyGibbitt · 11/12/2021 19:40

As the others say, check out curly girl. Wash with conditioner, keep a conditioner in. Mine hates coconut products, it likes Olive (Palmers) and protein. It’s a bit of a game, satin pillow case, brush when soaking wet 🥳

SavoyCabbage · 11/12/2021 19:51

When my DD's were about 7&10 we had 'The Year of The Hair' where I tried different conditioners, products, brushes etc until we found what was best for each of them. I was using up a lot of half bottles of conditioner that year.

To anyone else, their hair looks the same but we found that different things worked better for each of them.

They both use different conditioners (no shampoo for either) and a different curl cream and a different brush. They both sleep in a silk sleep bonnet but one of them can't get away with not doing so. It has to go on sleepovers and school trips.

AnotherMansCause · 11/12/2021 20:22

DD is 9 & has very thick curly hair. I use Boots essentials curl crème, then a mousse, it’s a John Frieda heat protect one for curly hair. I just bought a hairdryer with a diffuser (I didn’t own a hairdryer before) & her hair has come out lovely.

She washes it with As I Am coconut cowash or Burts Bees baby bee shampoo, depending on what mood she’s in. Faith in Nature conditioner but I forget which one. Usually washed about once a week. I only comb it with a wide tooth comb when it’s wet from the shower. I finger comb it the rest of the time & she’s learning to do it too, I water spritz it to refresh the curls most days. Currently shoulder length but she’s growing it.

Twistedsis1 · 12/12/2021 11:54

Thank you all for such a wonderful response, I really want to make sure we both know how to take care of her hair. When she was younger it was much easier to take care of, but as she has grown, and her hormones have kicked in, it has just become drier and drier and therefore a lot harder for me to maintain. It has affected her confidence being so frizzy. I have been using some leave in product which has helped but know i realise there is still a lot to know. Thank you all again!

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