Letting ones self 'go'

[yahyahfashion]

Inspired by another thread what would make you think someone had "let themselves go"?

Not washing or wearing clean clothes.
Not dressing or grooming in a way that they were happy with.

I feel like I definitely have in the past. Not enough fresh veg and fruit, too much wine and sugar, not enough exercise. Those are the base parts of it (rather than clothing). I felt rubbish.

But once those things are right, my skin and body look better, so I enjoy getting dressed up more. It’s a virtuous circle.

Having hair in a really bad state is the “beauty” thing I notice most with people who don’t take care of their appearance - terrible roots, lank ponytails, split ends.

When you just pull on whatever's on the top of the floordrobe in the morning and get on with your day and don't think about it, then you see somebody you know and feel deeply embarrassed

For me- no make up, let my roots grow, eat shit, laze around, nails look like I have chewed them on, lots of dry shampoo and ponytail days, wear whatever is easy and comfortable- all (for ME) signs that depression is kicking in, and therefore, I being letting myself go.

It's so different for everyone though- I would say whatever your baseline is, when you drop below that....

Not enough fresh veg and fruit, too much wine and sugar, not enough exercise.

This is pretty much it for me!

@Grumpasaurus - agree with this signs that depression is kicking in. It’s all small but meaningful stuff and I find I need to get on to it quickly.

@GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas yes! Exactly! It's like the red flags that I see on the way down the spiral...

I’m especially looking out for them right now because it’s always holidays / party season that I start drinking too much, exercising and sleeping too little. And before I know it I look dreadful and am not looking after myself. Tracksuits come out!

To me it means people reverting to their natural selves which they were trying, mostly successfully, to hide before. It's a sign of disrespect for their partner. Things like if they always used to dress stylish and now they can't be bothered to wear clothes that are the right size or clean or not totally shabby. If they used to be interested in being slim and took steps to achieve it but then decided they were fine with being obese, but not that alone because that's a choice a person made, but in conjunction with the other things it can be an attitude of not caring about weight because of taking their partner for granted to nurse them through health related issues or because they're married so their partner "isn't going anywhere". Cutting back on personal hygiene and grooming basics like showering less often and not brushing hair or teeth because it's only their partner who'll see and they'd rather use the time for other things. Sinking into ill health eg drinking more or not taking lifestyle measures the doctor recommends when health problems crop up. Mentally refusing to be current and accept that eg inflation exists so things cost more and always moaning about how things used to be better, not making any effort to have good conversation.

I think it often comes with other forms of disrespect such as not bothering with buying a birthday present when they always used to before, not being willing to go out any more ever when their partner still wants to go out sometimes, taking their partner for granted in general.

Letting yourself go is an insideous selfishness that permeates everything about the person eventually and becomes more apparent as time goes on.

But the way the term is usually used is as a put down to women or older celebrities of both sexes, used as an insult really, often aimed at someone who's tired or struggling with life/health or simply ageing and not fighting that.

In the literal sense of the word it is letting go of all the myriad things we do to a) enhance our appearance and b) stave off ageing. In that sense there’s nothing wrong with it, since why should we spend hours of time and loads of money trying not to give into nature. I feel I would look ten times worse if I just ‘let go’ but it would be liberating. It would be tempting if I didn’t have a genuine love of all things style and beauty.

I think that as long as you are showering and brushing teeth every day, "letting yourself go" is empowering. Thats why it's called letting go. Releasing. Freeing.

I absolutely and utterly hate the phrase. It implies that there is something wrong with (usually women) if we don’t keep up with the expectations of society regarding our bodies, some of which are completely bonkers.

I struggled with this for many years, and recently had an epiphany where I realised that a lot of my unhappiness was due to expectations that I was placing on myself, and the amount of money and time I was spending to try to keep up with them. I try to force myself to reduce both the thinking time / head space and money I spend on clothes and beauty products, and genuinely feel better for it, although Style and Beauty forums are still my guilty pleasure!

That is different, IMO, to thinking about healthy eating, exercise, etc., which are important and a much more worthwhile in terms of quality of life, although they can be overdone too of course.

I’m not keen on the phrase either. I remember an acquaintance complaining to a female acquaintance that his partner had ‘let herself go’. He was trying to impress this woman at the time, who was fawning and all over him. His partner had just given birth to their second child and I remember trying to resist the urge to slap him.