I look awful and I need help and advice

[ILookHorrible]

I don’t know what to do

I look awful. Tired, old, and just absolutely dreadful. I’ll try to be specific I really need help and advice.
I’m on a fb skin group but dont want to post there as don’t want to be identified.

Skin issues are:
Eczema
V sensitive skin
Pigmentation
Hormonal spots

I use moisturising products as get so dry then any lines look worse (I’m 40) I tried some acids and other actives in the past but my skin couldn’t tolerate them.

I prob need more water ?

Tbh if I had money I know I need a bit of Botox, tear trough fillers at the very least.

Body wise I could do with losing 1-1.5 stone BUT I do worry will that make me look worse facially ? Absolutely I need to tone up I look saggy 😞

My hairs awful. Gets greasy quick and needs cutting but I don’t know what suits me, it keeps falling out yoo since I had my youngest.

My nose is a bit crooked and I hate it

I don’t know what suits me I wear baggy tops etc as just don’t know. If I had to describe myself I just feel like a spotty tired grey blob who looks haggard and unhealthy

I stress pick too so my nails and cuticles are a total mess

What can I do that will help I’m literally crying typing this as I have zero self confidence

Start with the skin.

What exactly are you using?

I have dry skin and eczema. Facial skin not flaky anymore as im using coconut oil and hyaluronic acid nightly.

I use glossier milky jelly cleanser and I have a few moisturisers depending on how dry my skin feels either lrp, avene, simple or elf and I use an eye cream.
I use salicylic acid it’s the only active alongside niacinamide I can use occasionally if spots get bad but they make me drier so I tend to only use if very bad

Pigmentation is on cheeks, anything I’ve tried for that made my face sore

I just look so dull and grey

I don’t wear make up as they all seem to cause irritation but I’d love to find something that would make me look healthier

I’m so sorry, reading this has made me sad too thinking that you are sad

I can identify, I have been feeling like a blob too. My self confidence is low, my body has changed so much in the last few years and my skin isn’t looking it’s best. I just don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror anymore.

What I would say has helped me in the last few weeks was getting out for fresh air once a day at least (puts colour in your face) lots of water (I do 3L a day personally, as I’m quite prone to headaches) and lots of colourful veg. That is your foundation to feeling better about yourself and the way you look! You can overdo it with shop bought skincare I think as well and sometimes your skin can have a freak out when too many products are used.

Have you seen your GP about your skin? It might be that you need something medical grade to help you. I had to do this to clear up my skin (eczema and cystic acne). I would suggest though in the meantime, frag free cleanser and moisturiser and sunscreen as a minimum.

Lastly, please be kinder to yourself. Xx

Do you wear make up? A quick bit of make up every morning can make a big difference to how you feel.

Don’t worry about weight loss, but introduce some exercise and as a PP says more water and fresh veg. Your energy and glow will increase.

How’s sleep?

What’s your favourite colour? Get yourself a lovely colour to wear even if just a comfy sweatshirt or a scarf. Beautiful colours help.

Maybe go to the hairdressers and ask for some ideas? Have a new colour/bit of balayage? Just for a change and time feel you’re investing in yourself.

Have you seen a dermatologist about your skin?
I'd really recommend it. At the moment, an NHS appt would be light years away but if you can afford a private appt it might well be worth it.

They can treat adult acne and also prescribe treatment for eczema which your GP can't (some types can be used on the face.)

TBH I'd ditch stuff like Glossier and try Eucerin that is for skin with eczema. Or this range by Clinique redness skin care

Also, try some light foundation. Brands without perfume are what you need. Clinique was all that worked for me when my face was covered in eczema. Clinique also do a range of cleansers and creams for 'Redness' which might help you.

Boots No 7 Hydraluminous foundation is very light, and there are some good tinted moisturisers out there . Laura Mercier, Bobbi Brown, or Boots No 7 .

Maybe you can get into the habit of some light foundation, a dab of cream blusher , lip gloss, and some mascara each day?

And find a a hairdresser who can help?

I’ve been there OP. What worked for me was to look at the ‘groomed’ women I knew and copy their look. I don’t like wearing much makeup but I always use mascara, tiny bit of eyeliner, blush and bronzer. Concealer on any spots and under my eyes. Dandelion powder from benefit is good for a bit of a glow. I went to a decent hairdresser (not expensive, just someone that was recommended and cuts nicely) and got a good cut into an easy and classic style so my hair looks ‘done’. Make sure your eyebrows are shaped - they make a huge difference to how you look. I try to exercise - even a brisk walk gives me a bit more colour. Try not to drink alcohol esp wine - it makes you put on weight and bloats out my face. And generally just be kinder to yourself! I doubt you look that bad!

I def need to drink more water so I can start that immediately

I see a dermatologist every 6 months they advised me to take 2 antihistamines each morning and to use prescription washes and creams and I have steroid cream too but I’m still getting breakthrough patches of eczema which is frustrating

My face I think is hormonal due to pcos so it’s stubborn but not too bad I could deal with it I think if I could find a foundation that lessened the red and pigmentation and blemishes I’ll have a look at Clinique.

I need to get rid of facial hair daily too due to pcos and I’m very self conscious about it I have had a lumea for 2 years now and still it grows back 😞 it’s def less but not gone like I wanted ! So I have to pluck as well

I think what’s really upset me this week is I found a lovely dress and then wheh I put it on I just thought all I can see is eczema patches on my legs and I look like a blob or like if a wichety grub put a dress on 😞

I use a decent foundation just to even up tone. I dye my eyebrows at home and use glossier boy brow. Brighten around the eyes with a tiny bit of brightener - I use that cheapo garnier one. The big benefit comes from the blush, mascara and of all things Rimmel provocalips - the your move is a generous browny red that suits anyone. It stays in all day and I use a gloss over the top - one comes with it but it’s a bit like slime. The difference is remarkable and it lasts all day. I use a bit of bronzer in summer but get a good blush and you look instantly better.

If you have cash to splash I like dim light by hourglass too.

Get some good tights - no need to be bothered by legs but if you are just hide them. Mine never come out really and they don’t mind:)

Drink more water, definitely, as you said. Maybe infuse it with cumber and mint as these might also soothe your skin.

I massively recommend weightlifting. It tones your skin. It makes you feel and look younger, gives you great posture and because your body is strong you actually feel stronger as a person. It's so wonderful. Get hold of a pair of 3kg handweights and an 8kg kettlebell to start you off. There are loads of short workouts online. You can also do bodyweight workouts which are fantastic and work just as well. I lost a stone just by taking up weight lifting without changing my diet.

Get daylight on your face. Normally I would suggest a few drops of facial tanning oil added to your moisturiser but that might irritate the eczema. Worth trying though.

You could try the Plantur caffeine shampoo for women with hair loss.
I use Head & Shoulders apple 2 in 1 as I have very fine hair and that - after years of trial and error - seems to be the one that works on it best without it going limp too quickly. Might be worth trying.

Go to a hairdresser and explain you need a cut that is up to date and very easy to style or that dries naturally then let them loose.

Bring some colour into your wardrobe. What colouring are you? Wearing a strong block colour that suits your skin tone makes you instantly look like you've made an effort. Dark jeans that fit, polished flat boots, a strong block colour sweater or tunic will make you look great whatever shape you are.

Can't help much with the nails and cuticles. I have the same problem. Am considering going to a hypnotherapist to see if they can stop me. I do use Sally Hansen Nail Strengthener to compensate for the damage to the cuticle bed.

Wearing a bit of subtle lip colour (even if it's only Carmex tinted lip balm) will give you a bit of colour and make you look like you made a bit of effort. Also, if you have fair lashes, definitely either dye them or use mascara. And get your brows waxed or threaded.

Why hasn’t the derm given you antibiotics for your face?

It doesn’t matter what the cause of the acne is the treatments the same in the NICE guidelines. I’ve got PCOS, I’ve had acne but I was treated and now I wake up with clear skin every day. My hormones will still be all over the place though.

I have pigmentation on my cheeks and have had great success with The Ordinary Alpha Arbutine. It seems quite gentle and doesn't irritate me at all (have tried retinol previously which made my skin itchy/red/flaky). You need to persevere with it as it's not a quick fix (I'm coming to the end of month 2) but I'm pleased with the results so far.

Also have a look at Rosalique for redness and blemishes x

Fork out for a private consultation with a dermatologist if you can. I have scalp psoriasis, it used to come down onto my face and ears, nothing worked except the first thing a private consultant prescribed 🤦‍♀️

Sorry just read your updates, are you happy with your dermatologists advice? If not move onto someone else x

I haven't really got anything to add but felt so sad for you.
You won't look horrible, really. I bet I could find lovely things about you.
I work with people in healthcare and I've never ever seen a horrible looking person. (Horrible people are another thing altogether sadly).
Follow the advice given re hair, eyebrows etc, you wear those things all the time.
Buy an outfit that makes you feel nice now, doesn't matter what it is.
Also agree re private dermatologist if irs affordable for you.

How much do you want to change? I was at my lowest in September to the point that I was in tears about my weight. I hired a PT. She made me use My Fitness Pal to count calories and protein (i am on 1200-1400 kcal/day and 120g protein). 10,000 steps/day. Two very tough weight lifting workouts per week. She costs more than my mortgage but I am 2 stone and 2 dress sizes down. Better still my legs are very toned!

Get your eyebrows threaded. Preferably at Blink brow bar the first time.

Find a good hairdresser and sort your hair out. Cover any grey.

Get your colours done at House of Colour. They will sort out makeup too.

I have nail psoriasis and 2 of my nails are gone. Nothing acrylics can’t fix. I go every 3 weeks and pay £25. I have fabulous nails every day.

As for the skin…go back to the dermatologist. Use really gentle stuff, nothing expensive. Massage the creams in. Ask the dermatologist whether you would benefit from a short course or steroid or tacrolimus. Explain how miserable your skin is making you.

You’ve got this. You will get there. Up to you how much time, effort and money you want to spend and how quickly you want it.

Tried collagen supplements? 2000mg daily for three months and I no longer look haggard…might work for you. My hair and skin are vastly improved…

One thing at a time dear, let's start with a check up, maybe you need some vitamins or something. Then go to a dermatologist to give you specific creams and shampoos and everything. And then I do have the solution for you! If you're based in UK then do a google search for House of Colour. They analyze you and your skin tone and tell you what colours to wear and what to avoid in order to look more rested, brighter and younger! One of my friends that lives in Bristol did her seminars and looks amazing, and I flew over and had mine too. Definitely recommend it, especially if you need a new look and a confidence boost.

Oh love! You sound very mean to yourself!! Would you say any of that to a friend? I doubt it!
Look up Dr Sams, get yourself some decent skincare and meds (via GP If need be-try dianette as it helps with PCOS, they may only prescribe for 12 months but it can truly help get it sorted!)
Weight lifting sounds fab, but defo try to get fresh air and a decent walk in each day.
Maybe a multi vitamin too, and a hot water with lemon each morning. Make an effort to do 3 new things and keep it going for a week, then two, then 3.
Try mixing up what you have in your wardrobe, take photos and then save the photos of what you like, so you have ‘outfits’ planned. Failing that if you’ve £, then go shopping with a personal shopper.
Id highly recommend being nicer to yourself that’s for sure!!