Help, I’m lost as in what to wear now at 45.

[Booksbooksbooks77]

Really struggling lately with what to wear. I’m a mum, 45 with two young children (2 & 4). I seem to wear skinny jeans a lot with jumpers or tunics. Usually with converse on my feet but at the moment it’s knee high black suede boots.
I did buy some wide leg jeans the other day and love those.

I want to change things up a bit.

I shop in charity shops a lot. Before the kids came along, I wore dresses, long cardigans and bright coloured tights, skirts etc…
Nowadays I just live in jeans.
I’ve been looking at magazines for some inspiration but nothing has really caught my eye

Are you a 40-something year old, what do you wear?

I have the same issue a bit and I think, for me, the big pre/post kids difference was time and attention to see what other people were wearing to get ideas. You know, time on the commute or sitting having drinks when you can look around at how styles work in practice.

I wear jumpsuits a lot, usually with trainers.

I dont have kids, so i dont have an excuse, but i spent a lot of my 30's not remotely interested in clothes. Who cares? So long as we can get around with dignity?
But then in my 40's i suddenly started caring again, and became fed up of jeans/tshit, etc.

I longed to dress how i used to do, similarly in dresses, cardigans and so on - so i did just that. There are very few things out of bounds regardless of age. You just have to sincerely feel it. If you dress how you feel, you wont go far wrong.
Do you still identify or feel attached to the you that worse dresses?
If so, hunt some down, in current styles and go for it. You might not find current styles in charity shops unless you live in a very vibrant area, but ebay is good, and you can easily test out some new ideas at the cheaper end of high street to get started.

I am 47 and wear slightly floaty stuff. Definitely not hippy or alternative but not trend based either. I like wool and natural fabrics, and love to swish around in long skirt, docs and cashmere. It works because it is 'me', and age has nothing to do with it.
Unless you are talking about hotpants and bodycon, or something otherwise strongly associated with teens, then anything goes really. I promise.

Explore and see it as an adventure - clothes are there to delight and facilitate us living out lives. Don't see them as the enemy, and for god's sake don't fall for that age related crap.

I wear wide leg or straight leg jeans with wide cut slightly cropped high neck jumpers and trainers.

That's pretty much my uniform. Some jumpers slightly less high neck and cropped. Bit like this.

Look up style me happy on Facebook/Instagram and get your colours/style done. Emily is fab, it’s rather life changing to be confident in what you’re wearing!

When I am out and about shopping or with the kids I do have a look at others. Everyone seems to be wearing the same around here in my age group that is. I know jeans are practical along with a top or jumper. But I did have a bit of a quirky dress sense before the kids. I loved mix and matching. Maybe I need to spend a little more time putting outfits together and not just throwing something quick on.
It’s the same with make up (not that I wore loads before the kids, but a little mascara now and then or lipstick) but now nothing. I should make more of an effort!

I loved dresses with tights and little cardigans. I would wear along with either trainers or boots. Also loved colourful Corduroy skirts but I can’t remember the last time I wore a skirt .
Right I’m on a mission to have a sort of tomorrow. I’m going to bag up some of my current clothes for charity and buy a few new bits this week.

I’ve become stuck in my dressing, time for change!

I'm late 40s. I tend to wear a self imposed uniform for work of straight leg jeans and boxy tops with a long line vest underneath with cons or ankle boots. Outside work, it's a variation on harem pants, joggers, tube skirts or midi skirts, occasionally dresses. I prefer thick tights or fishnets. I love my DMs and wear trainers or boots with everything. I do find have to make an effort to make an effort if you know what I mean, it's very easy to bung on jeans and a top. I have great coats and bags, none of which are very now, but very wow, so can make an outfit.

I spend a lot of time in jeans but I like wearing skirts and dresses too - I find midi skirts/dresses more practical than minis with toddlers as I’m always crouching down. I like tube knit skirts in winter and slip skirts or midi dresses with trainers or boots.

I still like skinnies but am wearing straight leg and flared jeans too. A few nice cardigans/ jumpers is an easy way to update your wardrobe in winter. Well-cut, good quality tees and shirts (I like silk but heavily patterned so they’re more toddler-friendly). Jumpsuits. Flattering leggings and cardigans for lounging days.

I chose a few brands I love and which I know fit and followed them on vinted - I’ve refreshed my wardrobe that way and sold or donated a load of stuff that no longer fitted my lifestyle.

I also had to change my mindset, and stop saving my “nice” stuff for best. Now I buy and wear things that are still practical for my lifestyle but that make me feel happy, confident, stylish etc.

If you live somewhere where everyone dresses the same, you have to be prepared to be different and stand out a bit if you don't like the local style. It can take confidence but if the general style around you is depressing it's got to be better to feel a little lacking in confidence when you look in the mirror than feel downright miserable.

Unless you're wearing something really unusual or totally inappropriate for the weather, I don't think there are any unsuitable clothes for your lifestyle. I find its more that you need to treat clothes as clothes and not as a personalized display of precious art. So you wear whatever you want and if it gets wet or dirty who cares?

Unless you don't care about clothes at all, you're going to want some new ones from time to time, if you can afford it. So what does it matter if something gets a little damaged because it wasn't the most practical thing you could have chosen? Nobody else notices the damage anyway, they're too busy being wowed by your individual sense of style. If things are likely to get stained, it's much less obvious with darker colours or patterned fabric.

If you're a quirky dresser and miss it then get back to it. Life is too short not to wear whatever you want. You do need to factor in some time to play around with outfits though. If you dress for convenience or speed it'll always end up being the most uninteresting things in your wardrobe or else a combination of items that really don't work. If time is short in the mornings you can make up 7 outfits at the weekend. Yes also to bothering with hair/makeup/nails etc, if it makes you feel better then you should spend time on it. Investing in yourself is never a waste of time.

If I don't dress like me I eventually start to feel like some kind of robot on autopilot mode, going through life getting tasks done but never feeling alive. It's hard to explain.

Clothes are more than just something to mean you're not naked. Otherwise we'd all buy oversized things that fitted regardless of weight fluctuations and wear them for 20yrs until they become more holes than fabric.

Well I’ve shaken things up a bit. Decided to wear less jeans on daily basis and started wearing colourful dresses & tights/leggings again and skirts. I’m even experimenting with more bright bold colours too, realising I wore quite a lot of dark colours before.

I started dying my hair again, in my 20/30s I regularly dyed my hair, haven’t done for a few years but I decided to go red again. Always loved red tones.
Still buying clothes from charity shops as I love a good rummage 🤣 for a bargain but occasionally I buy the odd new item.

It’s made me realise after having my first child 4 years ago I kind of gave up on what to wear/me a little bit.

@OhRosalind, please could you link/share more about your wardrobe? Love the sound of it and how you’re making it work for parenting life! TIA 😊 (and sorry to crash thread, OP!).

I'm late 40s, and it's not so bad.

Just wear what you please.

@Pangolin44, exactly that 😁

That should have been a above, not sure what happened there.

I live somewhere that is wet windy rainy and we have a LOT of snow in winter. I spend half my life in country boots, skinny jeans and jumpers in winter but I have days where I go shopping or for lunch with friends. I really struggled with what to wear a few years ago then thought buggar it so now I wear what I want and don’t follow fashion.

I wore something similar to this today, I’m older than you though at 53.

Does anyone else really suffer with the cold?

I wfh and end up freezing if I don't wear thermals and multiple layers. Not stylish.

Even if I'm not working I'm always cold so it's hard to wear nice stylish things as I'm always freezing.

I’m 52 and wear a lot of midi dresses with converse boots, long pleated skirts with sweatshirts or joggers from Hush with with various tops.
I never wear jeans.

@ShineySparkleyChrissmassy

If you live somewhere where everyone dresses the same, you have to be prepared to be different and stand out a bit if you don't like the local style. It can take confidence but if the general style around you is depressing it's got to be better to feel a little lacking in confidence when you look in the mirror than feel downright miserable.

Unless you're wearing something really unusual or totally inappropriate for the weather, I don't think there are any unsuitable clothes for your lifestyle. I find its more that you need to treat clothes as clothes and not as a personalized display of precious art. So you wear whatever you want and if it gets wet or dirty who cares?

Unless you don't care about clothes at all, you're going to want some new ones from time to time, if you can afford it. So what does it matter if something gets a little damaged because it wasn't the most practical thing you could have chosen? Nobody else notices the damage anyway, they're too busy being wowed by your individual sense of style. If things are likely to get stained, it's much less obvious with darker colours or patterned fabric.

If you're a quirky dresser and miss it then get back to it. Life is too short not to wear whatever you want. You do need to factor in some time to play around with outfits though. If you dress for convenience or speed it'll always end up being the most uninteresting things in your wardrobe or else a combination of items that really don't work. If time is short in the mornings you can make up 7 outfits at the weekend. Yes also to bothering with hair/makeup/nails etc, if it makes you feel better then you should spend time on it. Investing in yourself is never a waste of time.

If I don't dress like me I eventually start to feel like some kind of robot on autopilot mode, going through life getting tasks done but never feeling alive. It's hard to explain.

Clothes are more than just something to mean you're not naked. Otherwise we'd all buy oversized things that fitted regardless of weight fluctuations and wear them for 20yrs until they become more holes than fabric.

Great post. Its true clothes help form who we are and how we feel. The cut, shape, colour, fabric, pattern etc. It seems superficial but it can be the difference between feeling amazing and rubbish.

Time playing with clothes and finding what suits our shape not just what we like is important. I find adding to my wardrobe in the transitional seasons easiest - spring and autumn. It prepares me for the forthcoming winter or summer.

I also take a few hours out to go window shopping on my own to see what the latest fashions are and see what others are wearing. I can buy then or later if I want to think or look elsewhere.

Its true that the time spent is an investment in ourselves that benefits us and consequently the people around us

@BBQPringles I have that problem too. Heattech base layers from Uniqlo have been a game changer for me, they really work.

I love clothes and really like quirky, fun styles. I turned 47 yesterday. I wear shortish skirts (usually A-line cause I'm pear-shaped), with bodysuits or fairly slim-fitting tops, usually high necked. I've got quite small shoulders so I find a lot of things come down too low. I also like shortish dresses and pinafore dresses, preferably with colored or patterned tights. For casual wear, I'll usually wear locket loves leggings with a long jumper. I struggle a bit with shoes cause I find it impossible to wear heels and anything with pointy toes hurts my feet. I tend to wear ugg style boots or trainers, in the Summer I wear flip flops. I'm thinking of getting some flat backless loathers, but I need them to be comfy. I know not everyone would like my style but it works for me. I don't suit jeans or trousers, I always feel that they make me look bigger than I am, same with anything high-waisted. I dye my hair myself (bright pink at the moment), but have regular cuts. Make-up-wise, I tend to wear tinted moisturizer but wear different colored eye shadows, mascaras, and lipsticks. Favorite shops are River Island, New Look, H&M, Zara, and the usual websites boohoo, etc. I love clothes so I don't mind thinking about what to wear a bit, but know it's not the same for everyone. I think once you find your style, the rest falls into place.

[quote Sithee]@BBQPringles I have that problem too. Heattech base layers from Uniqlo have been a game changer for me, they really work.[/quote]
@Sithee
That's what I wear. Do you wear to tops and leggings? Do they fit under your clothes ok?
I've got turtle necks as I suffer from cold neck too but they really stick out of my clothes ! Also jeans are tough over the leggings

@BBQPringles yes, I wear both tops and bottoms. They’ve had different designed tops in previous years too. The turtle and mock turtle tops do stick out of clothes, so I generally wear the crew neck long sleeved tops and size down for a snug fit. I agree that jeans don’t work over the leggings, so I bought some heattech skinny jeans this year and they’ve been great - super stretchy and cozy, thought everyone loves skinnies

[quote Sithee]@BBQPringles yes, I wear both tops and bottoms. They’ve had different designed tops in previous years too. The turtle and mock turtle tops do stick out of clothes, so I generally wear the crew neck long sleeved tops and size down for a snug fit. I agree that jeans don’t work over the leggings, so I bought some heattech skinny jeans this year and they’ve been great - super stretchy and cozy, thought everyone loves skinnies[/quote]
Omg. Heat tech skinny jeans sound good !

Thanks for the idea. And sizing down.

I feel a new order coming on!

There is heat tech bedding available !