How Do You Know?

[citycitycity]

A question for all the people on here who just seem to know what the latest fashion is, what is stylish, what is dated, etc... how do you know?

Do you read fashion magazines, blogs, insta, etc?

I want to know too - please tell me how!

Background, mid 40's, losing weight but feeling Mum frumpy - I really love clothes but can never seem to get it right on myself... still wearing skinny jeans!

I don’t spend my time looking at what others wear, I’m shocked how many of you judge others choices of clothing.

I won’t be packing my skinny jeans away and I don’t give a toss who’s judging me, it’s obviously them that has issues not me 😬.

I wear what I like, not what others like, why do I have to look pleasing to other people, people that don’t even know me? If I want to wear a brightly coloured jumper I will, if I want to dress in black I will. I don’t really take any notice to what others are wearing unless something catches my eye as being something I might wear myself.

@Lovemusic33

I don’t spend my time looking at what others wear, I’m shocked how many of you judge others choices of clothing.

I won’t be packing my skinny jeans away and I don’t give a toss who’s judging me, it’s obviously them that has issues not me 😬.

I wear what I like, not what others like, why do I have to look pleasing to other people, people that don’t even know me? If I want to wear a brightly coloured jumper I will, if I want to dress in black I will. I don’t really take any notice to what others are wearing unless something catches my eye as being something I might wear myself.

I think you've taken 2 and 2 and made 15. Absolutely nobody has said that others have to look fashionable or pleasing to them or any way whatsoever. Those of us who enjoy fashion as a hobby have talked about appreciating the details of clothing on others when it's done well, that's all. Putting clothes together is a creative endeavour and an artform and I enjoy seeing it done well (including when it's done with things that aren't currently "in").

Just because I notice and appreciate a great hairdo or blazer doesn't mean I'm looking at others and going "ewwwww".

Yes, what @stalkersaga said. I may decide to myself that someone's outfit has missed the mark as far as I'm concerned, but my judgement is very detached - I'm certainly not looking down on anyone personally, just concluding that I would have dressed differently. And I am just as likely to think positive things if I see a great outfit.

Yes, we can all wear what we like, but don't kid yourself you don't care at all what you look like, or we'd all be in fleece onesies and no makeup.

Of course I notice what people wear. I love clothes and it's how I get half my ideas. I also notice what books they're reading and back in the day, I'd have noticed their CD collection. Is that wrong too? I'm sure if you're into cars or gadgets, you'd check out what car I drive and what phone I use whereas I don't give a shit. We're all interested in different things; we all see different things.

But, Lovemusic33 do you not think your implication - that merely noticing how other people are dressed is an impertinence - goes against everything we know and experience about animal instinct? Where would we be, as human beings in a largely hostile societal environment, if we hadn’t learned, over millennia, to judge our position in relation to others through our senses, including our eyes. We judge our own safety, security, our sense of belonging or not, via how other people present themselves.

To suggest otherwise is madness. To imagine that you alone can somehow opt out of being seen is, I dunno … vainglorious.

Not judging other women at all.

In fact, I am admiring them.

I love people watching. I try not to be too obvious, but I absolutely look women up and down so I can take in every detail of their clothes. I really miss that part of going to work. My workplace wasn’t that stylish but going into the centre of a city meant I saw plenty of people in different things, and I used to go out at lunchtime and wander round the shops. I feel cut off from all that now I’m wfh in a small town.

Instead I browse clothes websites a lot (Zara, ASOS, Toast, H&M, Mango, Whistles, Oliver Bonas, & Other Stories), look at Instagram, read the Style pages in newspapers (online), look at Who What Wear and Stylist and Wears My Money.

I was thinking about this the other day after a thread on here - fashion is like exercise. You need to put the time and effort in, it doesn’t happen naturally. And like exercise, if you enjoy doing that it doesn’t feel like work. If you stop bothering for a few years you lose your fashion fitness and have to build it back up.

The older I get, the less bothered I've become about wearing clothes that "flatter" because I don't believe that flattering = showing your best physical assets

I disagree. I am pear shaped with a very small bust. I wear clothes that make me look more in proportion. Wearing clothes that suit my shape makes me feel good.

I like clothes. I like clothes shopping and going into shops and trying clothes on. I won't buy online because I would spend half my life queuing in the post office.

A lot of the tips on here just wouldn't work for me. I WFH and very rarely sit in a cafe. The only people watching I get to do is when out walking, and I see people in skinny jeans, riding boots, walking boots or trainers and waterproof coats. People don't dress up to sit in our local pub either.

I don't find skinny jeans comfortable, but I have a pair of White Stuff Jade jeggings which are really comfortable, and will continue to wear them, and I won't look out of place or dated where I live because no-one has had the memo that skinny jeans are out.

I really only notice what other people are wearing if I really like the outfit, it doesn't suit the wearer or is inappropriate for the weather or circumstances. I wouldn't know if something was designer or Primark.

I have had my colours done and only wear what suits me, but I would love a stylist to critique my wardrobe and help me put outfits together. I expect my footwear will look dated because I really dislike the chunky flatform fashion that is in right now. I have loafers, biker boots, nice going out boots, sandals and trainers, but most trainers look pretty much the same to me except for the logo.

There’s also a challenge in learning about your body and colouring etc - what suits you. That’s about colour and shapes and textures rather than style. I could theoretically wear something that was the height of style in beige, or wear a navy bin bag and I’d probably look better in the bin bag.

I think you are confusing style with fashion @TooExtraImmatureCheddar.

I keep trying to follow "influencers" like Kat Farmer on IG to get a more real-life take on trends, but every single one of them rapidly gets on my tits and I end up unfollowing. I find it much less annoying to follow the actual brands, where at least it's clearly advertising and nobody is boring on about their hot husband and their super busy day or whatever. I follow Whistles, Cos, Jigsaw, H&M, &otherStories, Thread and a few others.

@RampantIvy

I think you are confusing style with fashion *@TooExtraImmatureCheddar*.

I probably am - I find it difficult to separate style from fashion. Some people have their own distinctive style which is separate from what’s fashionable at the moment, but that’s actually pretty rare. Most “stylish” folk are following trends. I know a few people who don’t but they tend to do the hell bunny/rockabilly/goth look. Even folk who are aiming for classic style are still influenced by fashion trends.

I just wear clothes, basically, that suit my day. And I try to be the best version of me, for that day. It pleases me. I'm not selling anything.

To be honest I flip flop all the time over the flattering thing. Sometimes I like to show off my shape while I've still got one but other times I'm don't really care if my outfit 'wears me'. Increasingly I like beautiful, interesting clothes purely for their own sake, not just as a tool to help me look better.

Hear, hear, Flo!