30 year old frump - please help!

[Lesserspottedmama]

I have 4 children, the last 9 years have been a blur of pregnancy, breastfeeding and young children. I’m now a size 12/14 with a stomach that still looks 5 months pregnant (and I’m one year postpartum!). My clothes consist of hole ridden maternity leggings, numerous holey and faded cardigans, a jumper I like but draws attention to my belly, a bunch of mumsy seasalt smock/tunic type tops I bought from eBay in a bundle, some plain baggy v neck T-shirts that don’t seem to sit nicely or go with anything, a pair of jeans that look quite good but cut me in half, a pair frumpy linen trousers, two really mumsy breastfeeding dresses and some vest tops. I need to loose weight and get fit but what can I do in the short term? I am one of those people who struggle to care how I look too much but I recognise I have reached a crisis point and look unkempt to the point where I do feel quite ashamed. I’ve always been drawn to clothes with a slight bohemian type look about them (I’d love to look glamorously shabby but this is too much to hope for!), I love natural fibres and I do need things that a practical as I live a rural and outdoorsy life. And I’ll be breastfeeding for another year or so yet. I don’t have loads of spare cash but do recognise a certain amount needs to be spent. Please, please help stylish women of mumsnet!

I'm following because I could have written this, but just 2 kids for me. Emerging out of lockdown weight gain, pregnancy, PND and have completely lost all essence of who I used to be and what I used to look like. I live in faded leggings and oversized baggy/scruffy/holey tops. Also really appreciate the boho look but I'm not too hopeful I can pull it off. Solidarity!

It sounds like you need some new clothes! Find a style that you like and would look good while being reasonably practical. At that stage I used to wear skinny jeans with v-necked oversize or boxy blouses and long cardigans or a jacket. You could update by getting some relaxed jeans and flat/biker boots or swap the jeans for tights and shortish skirt in winter. Dresses can be flattering though not necessarily breastfeeding friendly! Wrap dresses could work. Or you could get some dresses designed for breastfeeding. I never tried this brand but I think it looks good: www.seraphine.com/en-gb/nursing-clothes/nursing-dresses/

I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere with this (it’s taken 5 years) so here is my advice.

Find bottoms (I like stretchy jeans, skinny jeans), smart tops (I like shirts or t shirts) shoes (I like trainers) and jacket (I like leather jackets).

For each of these items individually find a style that is comfy and flattering (just give up on things that aren’t comfortable, you have a baby and you won’t wear them even if you buy them… trust me).

Choose styles that can cope with stains and lots of bending down and playing on the floor e.g. probably not white, not suede, not silk etc.

Find the companies that do them in good quality, long lasting materials and are expensive. Try them on in the shops (this is so painful I know but you only have to do it once).

Buy them for half price or less on eBay.

Buy at least 5 tops, 2 bottoms, one shoes and 2 jackets. Wear on repeat.

Take care of them - deal with stains, clean your shoes, dry them on a hanger etc.

Buy some new good quality leggings and jumpers because you WILL still want to wear leggings and hoodies so have ones without holes and stains.

Get a hair cut.

Get fitted and buy a new bra.

Good luck!

@pennysays that is so helpful and practical, thank you. I will endeavour to follow your formula.

I think id go for a very basic uniform of good quality thick black leggings and longish black tops. I would boho these up with a variety of cardigans, scarves, jewelry and shoes, each item carefully selected because I loved it and it made me happy, elevated my 'uniform' or was current, dependent on where I was going.