How can I feel more comfortable wearing dresses and skirts for ‘everyday’?

[Askinvillarblues]

I am a sahm, spend most of my day either dog walking, riding or on the school run (obviously with all the home based crap like laundry, tidying, beds etc) with the odd coffee/lunch with friends thrown in. Most of the time I just chuck on a pair of jeans and a jumper which I’m comfortable in, BUT I keep buying dresses and pretty tops. I have this vision that I’ll wear my dresses etc day to day - they aren’t fancy sparkly ones, just cord pinafores/ floral dresses to wear with tights and flat boots/DMs, but I feel self conscious at the idea of ‘dressing up for the school run’ when the sad reality is that I don’t go to many other places that don’t involve mud and animal hair 🙄🙈. But I want to wear my nice things! How can I change my mindset so that dresses/skirts feel more normal? Or how can I hold myself back from the pretty things and focus on the practical things I would actually wear rather than the ones I imagine myself wearing?

[Pheasantlysurprised]

weirdly its just as easy to wear tights with wellies as it is to wear leggings with wellies.

[Cruiser11]

I wear dresses and skirts probably 80% of the time. To me they are casual, I wear them with denim or leather jackets, converse boots or suede ankle boots. I wear my skirts with sweatshirts.
I’m short too and discovered midi dresses last year, they really suit me despite me thinking they are for taller people.

[PickAChew]

Is a skirt nicer than trousers?

[minipie]

Thanks MinesAPint!

[Hanswurst]

Placemarking because I feel the same!

[megletthesecond]

Do you have to? I haven't worn a dress since the pandemic. I don't even own a skirt. to be fair I am a scruff.

[Enterifyoudare]

I feel exactly the same OP. For me, I used to work in the office before Covid and now I WFH. I had a 'work persona' that was face of make up, dress and heels'. I also had my 'home persona' that was no make up, jeans, jumper and trainers. I do like to compartmentalise my life and it worked for me. Now everything is all blending into one and I wear my jeans and jumpers all of the time. I miss my 'work persona' and the sense of identity it gave me.

I am also going to sound like an absolutely horrible person saying this, but for me I also think it is to do with peer pressure on the school run. I was one of the few mums who dropped my kids off at school dressed for work. Plenty of dads did in uniforms etc. But no mums. I used to use a childminder for pick ups but do it myself now I'm home. And it does feel like there is a 'mum uniform' of jeans/leggings, jumper/long top and trainers. There is one mum who always looks really nice, dresses smart etc, but I have heard other mums sneering at her and saying she struts around like Beyoncé.. Sometimes I think I will make an effort and put something nice on, but then I think what is the point.

[sandgrown]

Does this mean that nobody puts on a pretty dress for their husband coming home any more ?? I have always loved dresses as they are so comfy but I hate tights . Must try the snag ones .

[MiddlesexGirl]

@sandgrown

Does this mean that nobody puts on a pretty dress for their husband coming home any more ?? I have always loved dresses as they are so comfy but I hate tights . Must try the snag ones .

Is that a joke?!

I'm on the other side of the debate with this one. I find trousers and especially jeans so uncomfortable that I live in skirts and dresses (long for me) unless I'm on a dress down day in which case it will be trackie bottoms.

The trick is finding the skirt/dress length and cut that works for you. There's so much more variety than with trousers.

Glad you took the plunge OP. Your style sounds great and your DD is to be commended!

[Ducksareruiningmypatio]

@anonymouslyusing

The more you wear them the easier it gets. I only wear dresses now and don’t even own a pair of jeans.

This, I pretty much decided I wanted to wear dresses so I did!
Then persisted. People comment if they see me in jeans now because I'm a "dress person"
They are so forgiving. A dress doesn't give you a tummy ache if you have eaten too much/put on a few pounds/need a discrete fart

[Howshouldibehave]

You just need to start doing it.

Put an outfit that you like the look of out for you to wear the next day and make yourself put it on!

[LubaLuca]

Absolutely just wear them. They're so comfortable. I wear dresses when I need comfort, which puzzles lots of people but makes perfect sense to people who wear them.

[BigButtons]

I want to wear dresses and skirts but find them so restrictive. And the faff of what to wear on my legs.

[JingsMahBucket]

@NotMeNoNo

IME it's not so much the dress, as what you wear on your legs to compensate for the no-nonsence covering up of jeans, and then you might need diffferent shoes or to get used to the idea of how your legs look with tights/boots/trainers/leggings etc.
I found opaque tights and knee boots/lace up boots got me started.
It takes a while to get used to a different look.

This is exactly the way I feel as well. I don’t have enough shoes or tights to coordinate.

[monicacat]

I have started wearing dresses more and I am sure that I stand straighter in a dress!.
I wear thicker fancy tights out during the day but as I am not very tall I find that the crutch is almost to my knees if I don't keep pulling them up.
If I am going somewhere special I have started wearing stockings and suspenders, they are much healthier.
Sometimes when I am rushing and just slip on trackies I feel a bit glum.

[Askinvillarblues]

Agreed, tights are a faff. I’ve actually found some half decent 200 dernier ones in Primark of all places and actually I don’t mind at that price if the dog jumps up and ladders them.
A PP said something that resonated actually - along the lines of what is the point of making an effort if I’m not actually going anywhere. I think in a way that it what’s holding me back - I want to save my nice clothes for when I’m going somewhere so they can be seen, and when 99% of my day is at the yard, dog walking or on the school run, it feels a bit silly to ‘dress up’ just for the 10 mins I’m out of the car collecting the kids. And I know lots of people like to mock those who they perceive as having nothing more in their lives than to think about what to wear for the school run. I don’t want to be laughed at 😕

[Askinvillarblues]

But also, just saw the other PP about feeling a bit glum in trackie bottoms, and there is definitely something about making an effort to help yourself feel more positive. I’ll put another dress on today and give myself a little challenge to see if I can do a week without resorting to jeans 🤞

[Reallyimeanreally2022]

1. Who would laugh at you? The outfits your describing are casual. But because not jeans who think over dressed. Really not
   

1. What’s wrong with being a bit “over dressed”?!
   

1. All the nice clothes your saving… for what? Don’t know about you but I’m not 21 years old anymore. Single mum with two children. I go out… once a month in the evening? My nice clothes would be in storage most of the time if I didn’t get them out!

[GreenTuftyFlowers]

How it makes YOU feel is the key - doesn't matter where you are or who you're with (if anyone).

And it will change with lots of things, the seasons, your weight, what's in the shops. A brilliant flattering pair of jeans and a great top as a base outfit can make you feel as confident as anything else! But always worth experimenting :)

[Coffeepot72]

I spent many years working in an office so am more comfortable with formal office wear, but can’t seem to get the right balance between properly dressed up and scruffs

Same here OP. Until lockdown, I had three modes of dress: office formal/scruffs for round the house/going out clothes. However during lockdown and WFH this meant I lived in scruffs so I had a re-think. I’m now back in the office for two days per week, and everyone is suddenly very casual (which is great) so ‘everyday wear’ is very much on my radar. But like you, ‘everyday wear’ was generally jeans and I don’t want to wear them all the time. So I’m now buying jersey dresses (Boden, White Stuff, Roman) and wearing them with opaque tights, scarves and cardigans. This is very comfortable and makes me look and feel much better than when I’m in jeans. I don’t think this would work if I was wearing dresses that were structured, fitted or formal, but even a casual dress is still a change from jeans and leggings. Earlier in the thread someone commented that she’d previously considered skirts and dresses were for ‘going out’ and I totally get this. I used to feel the same.

I agree with previous posters who’ve said you can do practically anything in a dress providing you’ve got the right footwear. So I think you need to find a winter coat to go over your dresses and then you’ll be sorted! Very interesting thread though.

[Reallyimeanreally2022]

With all my day dresses, I find tights are key

Invest in really good ones. Merino thick black are brilliant

[Askinvillarblues]

Day 2 of no jeans ✅ I wore a burgundy skirt with a black jumper, tights and my DMs. Think the skirt was a bit short as I kept tugging it down, but I felt comfortable and actually not too dressed up!

[pickingdaisies]

Leggings or footless tights then you don't have the sinking feeling with your tights heading groundwards. AND you can wear proper socks with the boots or trainers. Although when you find tights that behave, it's a good feeling! ( Used to get mine from M&S then they changed the composition. Boo.)

[Italianmeringuebuttercream]

I am definitely a jeans/trousers person, but I've put on weight and am loathe to buy new bottoms in the size up! I am now wearing dresses every day to work (I rarely wore them before). I've got some grenson nanette boots and some new snag tights and I'm loving my new 'look'. I know what you mean about feeling dressed up, I felt that too, but I'm used to it now!

[Italianmeringuebuttercream]

Obviously the boots and tights are worn with dresses! Mostly midi or knee length with cardigans