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Help me find something I don't look terrible in...

23 replies

WeCalledTheDogIndiana · 20/09/2021 21:43

Name changed cause frankly it's embarrassing...

I am 12 weeks postnatal. Still look 6 months pregnant, with a massive diastasis (hello, 3rd child!) so my abs are ripped but in the literal 'resembling a deep canyon' way rather than 'the six pack' meaning of the phrase. Have the world's hungriest baby so at any given moment boobs are either huge or, err, kind of flattened (??) or (my personal favourite) one of each! Skin is sensitive and itchy all over so can't bear to wear anything tight or scratchy and can't do the normal hoik-em-up bra scaffolding due to both that and aforementioned breastfeeding feast-or-famine situation.

This is all fine, in that I'm 12 weeks postnatal and it's a marathon not a sprint, but I have my mum's 75th coming up and my daughter's 5th birthday party and I would just like to look not like a completely broken women in a potato sack at both of these events.

In my head I would like: a patterned, fairly brightly coloured dress; v-necked (this bosom is far from roll-neck ready); button-down to the waist (for feeding the world's hungriest baby) but not below (because buttons anywhere near my belly button will just gape); something that gives me a bit of a shape without making me look still pregnant; loose-fitting (obviously); not so long that I trip over it running to stop a small child from throwing themselves off a climbing frame but not so short that it shows everything when another small child decides to put his or her head under my skirt for the LOLs.

Does this exist? Probably not, right? Can anyone save me from another set of photos where I'll look back and sigh at the too-big maternity jeans and yet another oversized baggy t-shirt?

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WeCalledTheDogIndiana · 20/09/2021 21:47

For reference, the blue dress I would love if I could feed in it (would need a lower v neck/buttons), the other two I would love if they only had buttons half the way down instead of al the way (I've tried on similar and a size that doesn't gape across the lower half just hangs too loose on the top half)

Help me find something I don't look terrible in...
Help me find something I don't look terrible in...
Help me find something I don't look terrible in...
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Mamette · 20/09/2021 21:51

I have that blue dress OP, and it does have buttons. I will take a photo now.

OnceMoreOnToTheBeach · 20/09/2021 21:53

I have an Ella dress from Joules (not known for their stylishness, but I've had compliments on the dress). It has buttons on the top half which do come undone and then a loose skirt at the bottom. The whole dress is pretty forgiving. Might be worth a look Smile

OnceMoreOnToTheBeach · 20/09/2021 21:55

www.joules.com/Women/Clothing/Blueflrl/Ella/Angled-Seamed-Dress?id=214276|BLUEFLRL

The one I have is a different print, but I think they must all be the same.

Mamette · 20/09/2021 21:55

Hmm, ok when I take a photo it just looks like a wall of print, but I have done my best! The dress actually buttons the whole way down and the buttons are the same colour as the print so I’ve added some handy arrows Blush The buttons are hidden behind a placket when done up.

Help me find something I don't look terrible in...
OnceMoreOnToTheBeach · 20/09/2021 21:56

I applaud your arrows mamette!

Worstusername · 20/09/2021 21:58

Have you looked on M&S website. I've bought a couple of midi dresses there recently - buttons down front with a tie waist, very flattering (I am large chested) I think on mine the buttons do go past the waist but they have hundreds of dresses in at the moment so maybe worth a look on their website? I usually struggle with dresses but have been impressed with some of my recent buys from there.

WeCalledTheDogIndiana · 20/09/2021 22:12

Oooh mamette! Buttons! I can see the buttons! (And I love the arrows)

When you say they go all the way down but are hidden behind a placate, would that cover up gaping reasonably well do you think? It looks pretty loose fitting so might work...

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WeCalledTheDogIndiana · 20/09/2021 22:16

OnceMore that's amazingly close to what I was thinking! Amazing.

Would it look like a maternity dress, do you think? If one still had a baby-sized bump, just made of 3am-feed-chocolate rather than actual baby?

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WeCalledTheDogIndiana · 20/09/2021 22:19

Worst I did look at M&S in person the other day but the few things I tried on were...dispiriting. So I gave up and bought some school trousers for my eldest and leggings for the middle one and a sleep suit for the baby instead. I should approach clothes shopping with more grit, really.

What you describe does sound better than what I tried on though. Will have a look at the website now

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Blueberryblueberry · 20/09/2021 22:22

Have you looked at hush? I got the Roxy dress (in the sale) I think they only have the smaller sizes left now but some of the other shirt dresses may work and look similar. (That one does have a slip underneath which you would need to change/adapt for breastfeeding) They are flowy/loose so imagine would work well post baby and seem to have buttons?

OnceMoreOnToTheBeach · 20/09/2021 23:00

@WeCalledTheDogIndiana

OnceMore that's amazingly close to what I was thinking! Amazing.

Would it look like a maternity dress, do you think? If one still had a baby-sized bump, just made of 3am-feed-chocolate rather than actual baby?

I have a big tummy since c section and cake and I don't think I look pregnant in it...but obviously could be wrong!
Mamette · 20/09/2021 23:04

I don’t think it would gape, OP, the buttons are quite close together and the dress is loose and swingy.

VanCleefArpels · 20/09/2021 23:04

If a dress has buttons all the way down you can always sew the sides together (on the reverse side obvs) so they cannot gape (if that makes sense?)

homebird29 · 20/09/2021 23:28

I think the casual Jolie Moi range at John Lewis is really flattering! I have a jumpsuit and wear it with fresh white trainers and can also dress it up when needed.

www.johnlewis.com/jolie-moi-dora-leopard-maxi-shirt-dress-red/p5590299

www.johnlewis.com/jolie-moi-spot-print-midi-wrap-jersey-dress-royal-blue/p5227576

homebird29 · 20/09/2021 23:30

They’ve got some nice shirt dresses too www.johnlewis.com/jolie-moi-shea-zebra-print-shirt-dress-green/p5591988

stickybear · 20/09/2021 23:31

How about a wrap dress? Not something I usually wear, but I'm 14 weeks post baby and would totally recommend the Riley wrap dress from Joules. I have the stripy one and it's the first thing I've worn since the baby was born that has made me feel good in myself again Smile it's midi length, nice heavy jersey fabric, generously cut and I just find it so flattering. Also really easy to breastfeed in.

www.joules.com/Women/Clothing/Riley/Jersey-Wrap-Dress?size=10&id=215175|FNAVSRP|10

stickybear · 20/09/2021 23:35

Sorry, screwed up the link. They have it in a few different patterns though I think.

ShangPie · 21/09/2021 07:34

Not a dress suggestion, but maybe try wearing one of those long bf vests with the clips underneath the dress like an old-fashioned slip. Helps smooth out some bumps, and means any button incidents (thanks toddlers Hmm) don’t immediately spell disaster

notevenamum1 · 21/09/2021 07:38

www.asos.com/new-look/new-look-shirt-midi-dress-in-rust-spot/prd/200994835

These smock dresses are super flattering and this one has buttons!

Help me find something I don't look terrible in...
notevenamum1 · 21/09/2021 07:41

Would a wrap rather than button down work? Only the top is a wrap style so you can get boobs out but the bottom isn’t so you won’t accidentally get anything else out! Grin

www.asos.com/miss-selfridge/miss-selfridge-jersey-wrap-midi-dress-in-ditsy-print/prd/200387283

Help me find something I don't look terrible in...
MyCatHatesWhiskas · 21/09/2021 07:48

How about Seraphine? Their dresses are maternity and breastfeeding-friendly so you can usually extract a boob on demand and they’re very flattering over the tummy - can enhance the bump if you’re pregnant or drape to disguise if you’re still at the tummy-sticking-out stage. Definitely look at their dresses - and eBay for second hand barely worn versions.

WeCalledTheDogIndiana · 07/10/2021 11:00

Can I just belatedly say thank you for all the suggestions? I went with the green Joules dress and got actual compliments. And it was comfortable and I fed the world's hungriest baby twice (and his vomit didn't show up too much) and it had pockets. Bliss.

And thank you to the poster who suggested a bit of nifty sewing for gaping. Excellent idea, have resurrected an old dress with that!

You're all marvellous, basically. Thanks!

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