Mirror versus Selfie - what do other people see

[WibbleyWobble]

I've started to try and make an effort appearance wise and have tried new make up and hair styles and I'm quite enjoying trying new things. However, when I take a selfie, i really look like shit! I know that so many selfies are taken through filters but there is a big disparity between wat I look like when I take a selfie and what I look like in the mirror AND what i look like from a photo of me in the mirror.

Mirror: I can see my make up
Selfie: it's only barely noticable

Mirror: My hair looks ok
Selfie: It looks either dead frizzy (when natural curls) or lank (when I straighen it).

Mirror: No jawline as such but doesn't look too bad
Selfie: jowly and saggy (unless I totally jut my face away from my neck)

So really, what reflects what other people see when they see you. I'm assuming the selfie is more accurate and that depresses me. I'm deffo on the plain side, pushing 50 and an fed up of being a frump. I have no real friends (only a very patient DH) so can't get honest feedback.

One reason for asking is that I saw an interview TV a few months ago. The interviewee obviously thought she looked lovely when she put on her make up (the mirror) but it was quite old fashioned an unflattering on screen. Her whole eyelids had light blue shimmer and her foundation was too dark but It got me thinking that what I think looks good when i look in the mirror but be quite really the opposite

I'm confused myself. Took a selfie on way to work and I looked stylish and fresh. Saw myself in the lift mirror and I look tired and blah!

lol, actually I try and avoid the mirrors at work, they show up my tired skin. Maybe it's the lighting (she says hopefully)

Selfies distort your face quite a lot depending on the distance from your face. See about 2/3 off the way through this article.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jan/23/faking-it-how-selfie-dysmorphia-is-driving-people-to-seek-surgery

Lighting makes a massive difference! And most selfies posted on IG have filters on. Keep up your enjoyment of beauty and don’t overthink it. I’m sure you look great!

@OrtolanVeil that's a great article, thank you. i had never heard of facetune. Ive seen the filters on IG (never ever poste a selfie though) but I can really see how the distortion of what we perceive to be beautiful can have a negative influence on how we see ourselves.

@theSunday Aww, thank you i think it's the onset of menopause and the weight round my middle. I feel that I've aged so much in the past couple of years. I've spent the afternoon looking up fashion and beauty of people my age (and older) and hoping for some inspiration

I also think that a because a selfie is a shot taken in time, it is less flattering. In a mirror, you are moving etc and have a more rounded view of yourself.

I tell you what's the big eye-opener - we've got one of those Eufy doorbell camera things (like Ring) and you can scroll through the footage of people approaching the doorbell on your phone on a particular day and view yourself coming home from work etc on it... OMG, the horror.

A selfie is the reverse image of what we seen in the mirror. I always have the mirror image button selected in Zoom as my face that people see in real life is crap

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/selfies-vs-the-mirror-face_n_5a4faf77e4b01e1a4b14cdf9

@PuppyMonkey

I tell you what's the big eye-opener - we've got one of those Eufy doorbell camera things (like Ring) and you can scroll through the footage of people approaching the doorbell on your phone on a particular day and view yourself coming home from work etc on it... OMG, the horror.

Hahaha!!! I can imagine especially grimacing, cursing and fumbling for the keys

And yay to inspiration OP!

I have never been photogenic, selfie or otherwise. But I reckon I'm gorgeous in the mirror and, I hope, in real life

I don't think any of it reflects reality as when you meet and talk to someone irl, your face is animated and full of movement and the other person isn't staring at a fixed face, they don't have time to analyse every last nasolabial. There are many other elements at play, like laughing and eyebrow raising.

I do agree lighting makes a massive difference, I can take 10 years off when looking into natural light.

Echoing what others have said re selfies distorting your face and being a quick snapshot - definitely not the most accurate version.

Mirror images are reversed yes, but the thing is it looks good because you’re used to it, and the flipped to real version looks bad because you’re not used to it. Other people are used to the flipped version of you so they see you exactly how you see yourself in the mirror - if that makes any sense - just with left/right switched around.

The one thing with home/bedroom mirrors is that there’s a psychological aspect of you being comfy and used to your surroundings, so that might slightly alter the image of yourself positively to you.

But if you think you look good in mirrors, and in photos taken with a decent camera/lens at a reasonable distance, then you’re all good

I think when you take a selfie the camera basically removes angles, shading, so your features become flatter. So you look different to what you think you look like. But then when I look at photos of others they all look like their photos so I dunno.

^ also to add, even if you don’t think you look good it doesn’t matter because you definitely do. People around you see you smiling, laughing and concentrating without being self aware - which are people’s most beautiful moments :)

Such lovely positive comments. I agree with a pp who mentioned looking in the mirror in cosy safe environments making a positive impact on how we see ourselves.