Help needed, lost all sense of fashion and self.

[Glamazonian]

This is difficult for me to post, please be kind.

I'm 40, have piled on weight over lockdown (have just restarted gym classes to help gain control again). I haven't had my hair cut for about 18 months, so it's just a long lank mess but I'm almost too ashamed to go to a hairdresser. None of my clothes fit, I've bought a couple of new bits but they're more for comfort than aesthetics.

I've just feel like I've spent the last however many months drowning in a sea of lockdown, home learning with the dc, not socialising enough, etc, and somehow I've just lost myself.

I've never been very glamorous or into beauty anyhow, but now it's got to the stage where I realise I should have a real look at myself and work on me and my appearance.

I have a very lovely dh who hasn't muttered a single comment about my descent into the unkempt mess I have become.

I have made a list of things for me to do, some will be relatively easy fixes, others (like getting back down to a size 12) are more long term goals.

My list includes

Be brave and get my haircut (although I have no idea about what style I want)

Exercise 15kg away and stop drinking litres of full sugar Coke.

Get my eyebrows done. Although I have no idea what needs to be done to them. I just know people get them 'done'

Update my wardrobe a bit with clothes that fit.

I've name changed, so happy to post photos if anyone wants to give me some pointers on what hairstyle to choose, what needs doing to my eyebrows, and anything else you can suggest

Ah sorry I hear you feeling so down about yourself.

If you are happy to share photos that would be good for advice on hair but no pressure.
Eyebrows one is easy, all they really need is a few stray hairs plucking and then maybe some definition from a pencil. There are a mind blowing number of eyebrow treatments out there but most aren’t really necessary.
What sort of clothes do you like in other people? What is your lifestyle? (Important for hair too)

I feel exactly the same. Experienced utter despair when I had to leave the house looking vaguely respectable last week. No two coordinating items in my wardrobe both fitted. I couldn’t believe how much effort it all took.

But I’d have put on three times as much weight if my lockdown diet hadn’t consisted mainly of wholefoods and vegetables. So, if there’s any room to improve your eating, beyond Coke restriction (not like a ‘diet’, more a sustained evolution) make that a priority.

No point my suggesting anything else, because it would be sheer hypocrisy on my part.

I found this makeup tutorial a while back and I used it to help do my eyebrows (which I plucked to bejesus as a teen). Fuller looking, shaped brows can take years off.

How bout the hair? Pics would be good!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=3ODmwOXVjfk

Sorry! Link!

The good news is that you're not alone and even better, lots of fixes can be immediate.

I started with a hair cut with a brilliant stylist. She relished the challenge and we were both so, so pleased with the end result. It's also a million times better conditon and easier to manage. When your hair's fixed you might feel like wearing a very light makeup, I curl my eyelashes and wear mascara and lipstick.

You already know about some sensible diet and exercise changes, by diet I mean healthier eating.

What I would say is get some decent underwear after a bra fitting and buy a few well fitting things now even if you want to drop a dress size. If you boost your morale you'll feel even more motivated, when you put on clothes that you actually like, it makes a world of difference.

Just took some photos of myself. No makeup (I do look more alive with mascara). Hopefully someone will tell me what kind of haircut to get. It's just a sad mess at the moment, the ends are so raggedy and I've been butchering my own fringe.

Lifestyle wise I'm a sahm. Once school goes back I'll be busy in the mornings so need a haircut that doesn't take ages to fix every day.

Fashion wise I'm veering towards wrap dresses, they give me a bit if a waist shilhoutte and they're just easy to wear.

Good call on getting some better fitting bras - I've been living in crop tops since none of my old bras fit anymore.

I hear you! Felt the same and some simple things have made a difference.....
A good haircut/ colour to make the most of it/a quick lesson in how to dry it too.
Daily moisturising Of legs, arms and neck with an equal mix of cheap body lotion and Garnier Summer Glow. A very gentle colour which looks sunkissed and helps confidence.
I signed up for Noom - healthy eating programme. Lost half a stone pretty easily which made me feel much better.
Under eye cream, moisturiser, mascara daily. For outings add a touch of blusher and pink lipstick.
To help with co ordination of clothes - consider buying a dress. There are lots around - choose one that you would feel comfy and confident in. Add a denim jacket and stand tall. It worked for me!
Keep nails short and clean.
Good luck. You have got this!

Bit of a change but I could see you as a red head!

You look a lot better than you describe yourself. I'd get hair cut first as that's the quickest.
Your brows just need a bit of shaping by the looks of them and I'd get your lashes dyed (I have similar colouring to you).
Post lockdown I bought myself a new pack of 2 m and s underwired sports bras which were not expensive and have made me a lot cheerier about going back to the gym

Btw you have great skin

I feel similar. I'm told the key is to focus on your good bits and really highlight them. You have lovely hair, and fab straight white teeth! I've just had my teeth straightened so am envious.

Another thing is brighter colours, or at least ones that really suit you. Lots of experimenting needed there.

I think this hairstyle would look lovely on you:
www.instagram.com/p/BdRe0ZFFTQQ/?utm_medium=copy_link

You have really, really lovely skin!

@RedLemon my current hair colour is my natural one. It's like a dark blonde, with some lighter bits. At the moment it's doing an OK job of blending in the grey hairs I have, so I'd be worried out having a dark colour with very obvious patches of grey roots. I was thinking of maybe getting some highlights/lowlights to lift the colour a bit but I'd be too scared to go for a massive colour change.

@Summerhillsquare I did a house of colour voodoo scarf thing about 10 years ago (when it was all the rage on MN) so I have a colour palate of teals, olives, browns blues that work well for me. Congrats on getting your teeth done, I had a load of dental work done in my early 20s stupid teenage me was too cool for braces and it's one of the best things ever did.

Does anyone know what I need doing to my eyebrows? The whole brow terminology is a mystery to me - do I need threading, tinting, micoblading, anything else? I over plucked in the 90s and it's taken a good couple of decades for them to grow back to somewhat normalish brows.

Go to a brow bar and ask for a tidy - they will prob use threading. It smarts a bit but worth it. They might offer to do upper lip/chin too!

As for style Instagram is great for inspiration - if you search #40plusfashion #over40fashion and similar you will find a plethora of people. Then it’s for you to decide which of them chime best with you. 40plysnotgivingupyet and Stealmystyle40 are 2 good ones to start with

Hopefully I've managed to attach a clearer photo of my eyebrows with my fringe out of the way

A good eyebrow pencil will help you fill in the sparser bits - I use Anastasia Beverley Hills brow wiz or Charlotte Tilbury. Both v good to even out colour and add shape.

You look much better than you sell yourself OP.

Do get some new underwear, it doesn't have to be fancy, just stuff you feel better in and yes, wrap dresses are really easy and flattering.

Seriously I'd start with a hair cut. Personally I don't think your fringe does you any favours as it is. I like the style @RedLemon posted and think it would suit you as you have a high forehead. I'm not keen on the full flat fringe. After you get a cut you can reassess colour and eyebrows.

Honestly, you’re in a good place: nice skin, nice hair, pretty smile, large eyes (green?)

So you could do anything!

Even a bit of eye brow powder and eye brow gel would be enough.

You look pretty nice as you are imo, no need for despair

Don't micro blade! Its an eyebrow tattoo and you definitely don't need that. Go to a brow bar and ask for a tidy up and maybe a bit of colour - be careful with this though, I got my colour left on too long the last time and I am currently growing out massive black slugs - just the look I wasn't going for! They will probably wax or thread them for you. Just tell them you want a natural look.

You have such lovely skin - I'm jealous! Maybe a slick of mascara and a tinted lip balm to make you feel put together.

I don't think your hair is to bad - just get it tided up and maybe some highlights put through. But don't go drastically short so that you have the option of putting it up.

Wrap dresses are a definite from me. I wear them with white trainers and a leather/denim jacket in summer and tights, boots and blazers in the winter. Probably not very fashionable but it works for me. In fact I'm off to browse wrap dresses now!

Good luck and enjoy making yourself over. Come back and let us see how you get on!

You look younger than 40!!!

Your hair, skin and teeth look lovely - yes, a haircut and a small bit of makeup might give you a lift, but you don't look a mess in any way shape or form. You are starting from a really good base!

I agree, you definitely look younger than 40.

OP, you’re lovely looking! Your skin and hair are beautiful. Your DH probably hasn’t said anything because he’s thrilled to have a wife who looks like you (and can home school!).

judging by your photos this 'make over' will only take a couple of days! go shopping, try loads of stuff on, even stuff you think wont be for you, you may well surprise yourself and find a few gems, eyebrow thread and light tint, hair appointment (I think a trim and some blonde highlights would look lovely on you) buy yourself some flowers and a new lipstick, maybe a posh candle and do a few things just for yourself, give yourself time to read a book/sew etc, something that interests you.

Book a table somewhere nice for dinner with dh, surprise him! I bet he will be very proud to be sitting at the table with you. you are lovely!