Wanting to be more put together every day, not just on good occasions

[Marghe87]

I am about to end my mat leave and return to work and having spent the past year mostly in my pj (new baby + lockdown), I now really feel the need to start looking after myself more and reinvent my style a bit. My aim is to be one of those women who are always well put together, no matter what the occasion is. I have a decent sense of style and manage to be fairly “stylish” and presentable when I have a nice occasion but in every day life, I tend to be a bit scruffy at times. Here are some of the steps I have been taking, would be interested to hear what you do:

• decluttered my wardrobe and invested in good quality every day pieces (either sale or using vinted/ebay) so I finally have bought nice jeans that fit well, good quality tshirts, a couple of nice jumpers etc
• been taking care of my skin much more and I have to say I have seen an improvement already

I suppose the main things that hold me back are my hair (I have thick hair, looks very good when styled but can never be bothered so I only make the effort if I have to go somewhere, otherwise it tends to be messy and frizzy. I also should start investing in color sessions as I have a few greys here and there) and the fact that I have the type of silly mentality for which I feel “guilty” wearing my nicest, most expensive clothes on a daily basis if nobody sees them (so sad I know) so always end up wearing the same outfit.
I love jewelry and have lots of it (not expensive stuff) so I think accessorise-wise I am fine.

I am 35yo, fairly youthful looking, 160cm and a UK size 10/12 (depends on the brand).

What steps do you take to ensure you are always on point?

I don’t have a new baby so feel free to ignore me, but my tips would be:

Sort out your outfit the night before - I tend to hang everything in the bathroom, down to bra and pants looped over my top or dress. If I didn’t do this I would be faffing about too much as I am not a morning person.

Figure out your hair if it’s your bug-bear.

If you wear makeup pick something you like to do/wear, and commit to it. I always wear red lipstick, but am too lazy/rubbish at it to bother with eye makeup.

Give up the mentality of saving stuff for best! Be more Nora Ephron! I’ve been WFH since last March and while I am not sitting at the kitchen table in a ball gown, I have worn proper clothes/makeup every day (nice jeans instead of joggers, for example). I knew it would not be good for my mental health otherwise. Even though no-one can smell me except DP, I always wear nice perfume too.

Again, I appreciate I do not have a little baby so apologies if this is terrible advice!

Picking out your clothes the night before is a really good practical tip.

Buy for the body/life you have. E.g. I love white shirts. On other people. On me, a booby, pale skinned, shortie they look ridiculous. See also leather jackets (sob) and pleated midi skirts.

I often see something on someone else and buy it with no thoughts around how that look translates to me. So don’t do that

When I had my first baby, going back to work after mat leave was a really big incentive to be put together - I wouldn't show up at work before having a child without hair done and makeup on and a decent outfit on, so I wanted to maintain the same standard.

Things that made it easier for me:

• DH, DS and I leave the house together in the mornings so there's no reason for DH to not share in getting DS ready for the day - ensures I have time to get ready to my preferred standard.
• I always wear a few bits of jewellery and don't mix it up much - have everything on a tray so I can pick watch, necklace, ring, bangle and earrings.
• Do the same makeup every day
• Get a hair routine (for me this is wash and style every 3 days, wear it up on day 3)
• Get a clothes steamer so you don't have to be organised enough to iron

Things I don't do but would help:

• Outfits planned/ready the night before
• Paint nails - I'm just not organised enough to prioritise it
• Book beauty appointments in lunch break (I do with haircuts but I'm too low maintenance for anything else)

Thank you all for the advice!

@BlairWaldorfLovesShopping are steamers any good then? I have considered purchasing one before as I never iron anything!

Don’t save stuff for best and try to switch your mindset to dressing for yourself and the confidence/comfort/pleasure it gives you, not for other people to see or compliment. If I’m wearing stuff that’s well fitting, nice fabric, flattering, comfy etc I feel much more motivated, my posture is better, and I feel less skinny/scruffy/run down, even if it’s just loungewear for wfh which only DS and DH see.

Always buy for the lifestyle you currently have so it actually gets worn. I have a toddler so there are certain practical considerations given I spend a lot of time at the park, crawling around the floor, wiping tomato sauce fingerprints off my clothes etc and I try to buy with my lifestyle in mind as stuff was sitting pointlessly in my wardrobe. So investing in nice trainers/jeans/rain coat/ jumpsuits, buying my staples of silk shirts and midi skirts in dark colours/prints which are more forgiving of stains.

Work out one or two hairstyles that don’t require styling and time ( maybe using a head scarf or band?). It’s hard to feel put together if you feel like your base is letting you down.

@OhRosalind it’s so true, that’s why I recently had a big clear out and decided to invest in better quality basics (good tshirts, jeans, simple knitwear etc). I used to be much more impulsive with my purchases and ended up with a wardrobe full of cheap prints that I could never match with anything :/
The change of mentality is definitely what I need for the “off duty” days as I don’t own that many clothes and the few very nice ones I have feel almost “wasted” to just wear around the house or for the supermarket - but this is the point! The woman I want to be, also looks well put together when grocery shopping, lol

I had a haircut recently, I like it but as my hair is frizzy and thick, I have to do a bit of styling in order to look good, otherwise I just look scruffy. When I was in my 20s, the “untidy beach” look suited me, now it just doesn’t feel right anymore.

Out of interest, does anyone use a shower cap to keep the hair away from water when showering?

I use neutral colours, everything matches everything else in my wardrobe so I dont need to think to much about my outfits.

Always wear something on your lips even if it's just a balm and earrings even just a stud.

Stay away from scruffy buns if your hair is dirty or you not got much time a low ponytail is classy.

No high heels during the day & sports clothes only when actually participating in sports.

Steamers work well on the majority of clothes I would say, and definitely easier/quicker than ironing (but I’m not particularly skilled with an iron). For linen and button down shirts though I usually go through the effort of ironing just because the look of a crisp shirt is 👌🏻.

Have you thought of getting a keratin treatment (at the hair-dressers) to smooth your hair?
I have thick hair that looks frizzy and scruffy if it isn't blow-dried (by the hair-dresser - I really struggle to do it myself). The keratin treatment means that all I have to do is give it a quick rough dry and it looks as if it has been styled. It is a life-changer for looking polished.

@Marghe87

Thank you all for the advice!

@BlairWaldorfLovesShopping are steamers any good then? I have considered purchasing one before as I never iron anything!

I only bought mine off the back of a recent thread on here, but I would say yes! It’s so easy to quickly get the creases out of something if I want to wear it that day, and freshen it up. Mine was only about £45 from Amazon.

I’m trying to be more put together. I have bought cap sleeved T-shirt’s in white, grey, black, navy and khaki and they look great with neutral shorts or jeans. I do my make up every day and on hot days I used a tinted moisturiser, lipstick and mascara. I am rubbish at styling my hair so I tend to straighten it on day 1, curl on day 3 (or put in a sleek ponytail). The only time it’s always up is if it’s really hot.
My nails are always painted and I lay out an outfit the night before, however the first thing I do every morning is check the forecast. The absolute last thing I want is to be too hot or too cold so doing that check means I can make changes to my outfit if need be. I also always put a spare set of clothes & shoes in the car - I don’t know why I do this but knowing the fact it’s there is weirdly comforting and makes me feel more confident (knowing if I spill tea down me, it’s no biggie )

I take photos of what I’m wearing every day and have them in a separate folder on my phone so I can see what works and what doesn’t.

@LilyGlobe the pictures idea is really good. I often get ready thinking I look good and then spot myself in a window or mirror outside and realise the whole outfit doesn’t look as sleek as it was in my mind. A quick check in front of the mirror at home doesn’t do the same, don’t know why!
I used to paint my nails all the time before having DD. Now she goes to nursery and I sometimes wfh I might be able to do so again.

@Ruthietuthie I have but am a bit scared as I know they contain some toxic ingredients potentially dangerous when inhaled. Perhaps this is no longer the case these days?

@Marghe87, the one my hair-dresser uses is entirely formaldehyde free and so doesn't contain the nasties that the older ones used to.
I think a lot depends on the skill of the hair-dresser too. My keratin treatment lasts at least six months (I have read some people say that theirs didn't last very long). It really is life-changing.
For me, hair is the place to start as you have to wear that every single day!

Just coming on to recommend the Stylebook app for recording what clothes you wear and own. You can upload photos of clothes or use pictures from websites, make outfits and record what you wear on the calendar. It will give you stats on what you wear and is really good for identifying what you do and don't wear from your wardrobe.

@Ruthietuthie interesting! Will look into it then, thank you!

@BensonBunny didn’t know thw app, will check it out!