Style inspiration - no one inspires me

[funtimefrank]

So lots of people recommend Instagram or Pinterest to find someone who's style you like.

I can't find anyone. I am trying to make peace with my size 14 short, pear/hourglass shaped, short waisted with a tummy mid 40s body. I want to find comfortable clothes that look a tiny bit funky (90s indie kid still at heart). I have found no one with my body shape or style I like,

I have a few sensory issues to manage as well which makes life a bit harder (no jeans, need soft stuff on my legs like jersey) and I like a bit of colour.

I am on a hiding to nothing aren't I? I'm too niche. I generally get ignored on s&b anyway but if anyone can suggest somewhere to look for inspiration I'd be so grateful.

Forgive me if I'm wrong but do you mean you want to find a celebrity/influencer whose bodyshape/height matches your own?

Maybe someone who is not known for their fashion style but for something else?

Like Sarah Beenie or the gardener Rachel du Thame.

If you use #size14 on Instagram there are loads of different people, you should be able to find something you like

I think I'd take anyone tbh! Just someone who had a style which appeals which could give me some ideas. Sarah Beaney probably isn't a bad suggestion tbh. Do t know the gardener but will look her up, thanks.

I find my shape and size tricky. It's not plus size but it is plump. I come in a lot at the waist if you look at me head on but I have a sticky out tummy if I turn sideways. My thighs are the same size as a rugby Front Row. I do have a good bust but such a short torso etc etc

At the moment my style is most closely aligned to Bilbo Baggins.....

You don't say you're shorter in height but I'm now picturing you as a younger Imelda Staunton. Though googling her doesn't result in many of her casually dressed.

Didn't know she's replacing Olivia Coleman in the Crown.

👋

I'm 40 something and up to a size 18. I like to be a good hourglass 16 but lockdown has had a negative affect 😬

Anyway, do you know what kind of clothes you like? Do you know what suits your body shape?

My best advice would be to create your own style. That's what I've done. It's taken a lot of years - my mum disapproved and had very strong opinions for years and would put me down and be unable to hide her disdain. I'm sure she has no idea how much damage she's done to my confidence 😔 I buried my desired style for years.

After a lot of confrontation, she now keeps her mouth shut (wish she could tell her face 😂) . I stopped dressing like I'm going to a job interview when I see her. She has to swallow it because I'm not taking it on board any more.

Point being, I'm only really discovering my own style these past 5/10 years. I'm not to everyone's tastes, that's for sure 😂 but I make myself happy by my choice of clothes and get a lot of compliments.

I don't follow fashion, I've no interest in it at all. To each their own but it's not for me.

I dress a lot from charity shops - more likely to find unique items this way. I don't have any style icons, I can't think of anyone who dresses like I do really. I just dress like me. I try to wear flattering clothes as best as I can. Do you have anyone who can look at stuff on you and be gently honest about if it's flattering or not? I try stuff on, make my decisions, then all my husbands opinion. He's very good.

I don't know if I'm being helpful.

I understand sensory issues with clothes. I can't bear tight fitted stuff and do tend to buy clothes bigger than I need to, especially trousers and the waistband. It's a real problem! I went on an obsessive quest for the perfect jumpsuit recently and bought a great black jumpsuit which is so comfortable and freeing. I had to cut the labels out but it's very comfortable for lazing about.

Maybe you start with a couple of items. Or can you order a few things from next online? As I've not been out in shops, I placed a huge next order a month or two ago. I kept a few things and was able to get next to come and collect the returns for £2. The refund were issued very quickly, and I paid it all on my credit card knowing most of it would go back on. I'm not endorsing debt, I use my credit card for Tesco vouchers, it's cleared after each use.

Anyway, I wish you luck. You sound like you have a great figure. Embrace it, make choices that make yourself happy. Find & be yourself. ♥

Thank you for that, I do appreciate the response

I do try and build my own style but I'm not very good at it. DH is actually pretty good at gentle honesty (I say gentle, last week he told me I looked like a clown god bless him) and my mum isn't bad either. I do love Gillian Anderson in Sex Education but I am twice her size but maybe I use her as a starting point.

Yes to Imelda Staunton! That is my figure and my height!!!!!! I did know she was going to be the Queen but I can't remember who is going to be Prince Phillip.....

No idea about intsagrammers or influencers but I’m also have a 90s indie kid trying to get out.
My first thought is Lucy and Yak dungarees in the corduroy as they are very soft, loose fitting and come in lots of bright colours.
Otherwise I think Uniqlo is a good bet for loose fitting, feminine, soft clothes like their rayon shirts and their satin drape joggers.

I wouldn't have associated Gillian Andersons character in that as an 90s indie kid. It's a while since I've watched it but isn't she more sloan meets hippy dippy? I'd have to check, I'm not sure how well my memory is serving me.

What were you wearing when you're husband said that?

Can you name stuff that you do like clothes wise, to help create the vision 😁

That is very fair, they aren't the same! Gillian is what I'd love to think I look like. 90s indie kid is where my style is stuck at. And not a good version.

I do love those Lucy and Yak dungarees and some of the trousers but there is so much fabric and they'd cover up my narrow bits I think. As I'm short I do get swamped easily.

The clown comment was directed at some very fetching turquoise harem pant things I got from Amazon for £6. The actual comment came when I was moaning about feeling frumpy and scruffy and he pointed out my top half (T-shirt with denim shirt over the top) was fine but the bottom was clownesque.

Erica Davies - Instagram?

And in terms of what I do like, that's hard. I like lovely Gillian but feel too fat for it. I like a kind of Hush look but feel too short for it and can't do the jeans.

This is my problem I think. I can't adapt an aesthetic to my reality. I suit colour for instance but I struggle to match this to the fairly simple unfussy clothes I like. Throw in my quirky sensory stuff and I get miserable

Just had a super quick look at Erica Davies, thanks. Some definitely looked great but the buffet dresses don't translate to me well - too much fabric. I will carry on looking through though thank you.

What about Helena Bonham Carter? She’s quirky and quite little?

Simple leggings + oversized long (bum covering) tunic / lightweight jumper ?

You could build up a stash of colourful tops and neutral leggings.

I think it is a distraction, and quite difficult, to look for a role model who actually looks like you. What you need is to find someone who wears the type of clothes you like, regardless of age/size and then learn how to adapt them for you. I'm 5'3" and most of those I admire are tall and much thinner, but if it is about colours and length and odd things t do with a scarf or necklace you can still adopt it, and then flex the width of the trousers or the type of top to accommodate your own body better. In the past I've contacted Naga Muchetty, Emilia Fox and Georgina Worsley via Twitter to find out where thy had purchased different items, but I would not have worn them in the same way.

Gillian Anderson wears lots of Nancy Mac in Sex Education, worth a look?

I agree with @ExConstance - your style inspiration can be anyone whose style you like! My usual casual look is taken from Steve McQueen - it’s just a way of narrowing down what you’re aiming for when looking about.

P.S. I absolutely love this stuff so do let me know if you want any suggestions from someone with sensory things too!