Help me find my personal style?!

[FlourishingBanana]

Hi all, my first post here

I feel like I'm desperately stuck in a style rut and I quite frankly feel like an unstylish mess.

Since lockdown, I've been living in leggings and baggy jumpers and I'm at the stage where I'm dreading any social events as I've just got no idea what I'm going to wear.

I feel like I need to address this and get out the rut, I'm just not sure where to begin. I live in a fairly small town with only a small selection of clothing shops nearby, and browsing is just leaving me feel even more uninspired.

I also really don't think I can face anything like a personal styling session at the moment.

If it's at all relevant, I'm mid thirties, 5'8, a size 12. I really want to feel a bit more 'put together', and just happier in how I'm presenting myself.

So my question is... How do I go about trying to fix this and getting myself sorted out with a wardrobe I'd be happy with?

My initial thoughts are maybe create a Pinterest board with general styles I like and that I feel are 'me', and use that as a starting point for putting together a cohesive wardrobe.

Perhaps doing some online ordering and trying everything on at home to see what's going to work?

It's also probably worth mentioning here that I'm 11 weeks pregnant... So I know my body is going to change over the coming months, but this makes me feel like it's more important than ever to develop a bit of a better sense of personal style, to try to maintain a bit of confidence and sense of self.

Any thoughts or advice would be very much appreciated!

Pinterest is a good idea and also following a few Instagrammers whose style you like, as they generally tag the the shops where the clothes are from. The problem with Pinterest is finding the clothes you like in the pictures.

When you’re pregnant maybe isn’t the best time for a wardrobe restyle. But maybe use the opportunity of picking maternity clothes to make good choices for a more capsule wardrobe that works together.

You need to shop for the lifestyle you have - will this change once the baby comes?

I'd go for the tiered midi dresses. You are tall and slim. Dresses are easy and there will be room to accommodate a growing bump.

A man's shirt with leggings is great as a pregnancy outfit.

White canvas shoes or birkenstock arizonas.

I think two key areas to feel put together is to identify your shape (pear, hourglass etc) and to identify your season , ie. which colours suit you (or don’t).

The other thing is not to compare yourself to others. Your best friend May rock the rock chick look, but if that’s not you, then you’l never feel comfortable. I know I like either the preppy/ breton tshirt/yachting look, or a slightly more hippy look.

Are there any tv actors or presenters you’d like to emulate or impress you? What is it you like about these people?

Having a decent bra also helps!

Thanks all - I've got a few more ideas and your advice has really helped!

Style Me Happy on fb is a good start if you're on there.

The concept wardrobe used to be a good free resource for this kind of thing but I think you have to pay for some of it now, might be worth a look to see what you can still read for free

Also if you’re planning to breastfeed then can I breastfeed in it is a great Facebook group to join too

Long post incoming :)

Agree with pp that pregnancy is really not the right time to be finding your personal style - not with clothes anyway. It is a good time to buy new shoes and accessories.

Is this your first baby? (And congratulations!)

In my first pregnancy I was worried about losing my personal style, as I suit clothes fitted at the waist and that's all I owned. (This was 3-4 years ago, so the oversized silhouettes weren't quite as ubiquitous as they are now.) I put a lot of thought into a "pregnancy capsule wardrobe" which saw me through until my baby was born in Summer 2018. You can see what I bought on my Pinterest board here although it's aimed at summer and is a bit out of date - but the number of tops/bottoms/dresses worked well for me.

I'm now pregnant again (I'm 15 weeks now - and I'm mid thirties, size 10 and 5'6 so not too dissimilar to you!) and this time I'm having a winter baby like you :)

I still fit in most of my normal clothes - ok, only 1 pair of my jeans! - but so far I've bought a few things with wearing them after the birth in mind:

• Boxy t-shirts in a size up ("oversized" t-shirts also good - H&M, Cos and Arket have these but depends what colours you want)
• A pair of black workout leggings in a size up
• A pair of khaki cotton twill joggers with an elastic waist - I find khaki looks good with all neutrals and all year round, and is a bit more interesting than blue or black jeans

Thinking ahead, I might buy a new pair of maternity jeans, as my old ones are skinnies. I want to get an oversized linen or cotton shirt or 2 to see me through the rest of the summer, and maybe some denim shorts. As we go into autumn, I think I'll just switch to loose dresses as they are so much more comfy - probably solid colour neutrals, in a size up so that I can wear them a bit after the birth. Last time round I didn't go back to my normal size for 9 months so I will be keeping that in mind!

Enough about me (though I hope it helps) - but if I were you, I would plan a capsule wardrobe for pregnancy with a few bits sprinkled in that you can wear after you give birth - loose dresses, knitted loungewear. Then I would spend some time thinking about your style in general. Make a Pinterest, treat yourself to some nice shoes and accessories that you can wear whether pregnant or not. Bear in mind that you may not feel like "yourself" for a good amount of time after giving birth (assuming this is your first baby again here, sorry if not!). You will have to be gentle with yourself and not put too much pressure on looking a certain way or wearing certain things. At the same time you will feel better if you feel "put together", so I'd make sure you have a few things that you love that you can use to elevate your outfits when you're out and about with baby:

• A good pair of trainers (my absolute favourites are Stan Smiths but have a search on S&B and you'll find lots of discussion!)
• A nice bag (I favour a cross body bag rather than putting my stuff in the baby bag as it's nice to have your own)
• Sunglasses (hide a multitude of sins and make you feel way more put together)
• A nice coat or jacket, so that you feel good even if wearing plain jeans and t-shirt.

I wouldn't set too much store by "finding your personal style" as your body will change, it'll take time to change back, trends will change, and YOU will change, so that's just setting yourself up to fail. But definitely download the Pinterest app and get searching, it's addictive!

This is very rambling, but I'm happy to chat more, especially as I'm currently trying to figure out what I'm going to wear for the next year plus as well

For pregnancy clothes, check out Kin at John Lewis. They’re normal clothes but very oversized. Their short dresses look great over rolled trousers and they do a lot of mid calf ones too. Plenty of oversize jumpers and T-shirts in that range too. And, if you find you like their stuff but only envisage wearing it while you’re pregnant, there are some good finds on eBay.

I've thought of more to write about maternity clothes!
Buy expensive things second hand on ebay - by expensive I mean brands like Isabella Oliver and Seraphine.
Good high street shops are H&M, Asos, Mamalicious (H&M is amazing for basics). Gap and Mango also have small maternity sections. All online, good luck finding maternity clothes in an actual shop.

As well as my capsule I also had some stretchy strappy camisole vests in a large size from Primark.

I'm going to buy these vest tops as this shape really suits me.

I also bought this t-shirt dress in my normal size, which should fit me for a few more weeks and looks good with trainers or sandals.

I'm roughly the same height, age & size as you and I've just my 3rd baby and am putting my personal restyle on hold because honestly I've just found it impossible.

I've tried after each baby and my body shape and lifestyle have changed so much that I just can't do it. I'm happy with shoes, accessories, skincare and makeup. Clothes will just have to wait. I've made plans and lists and Pinterest boards for when I'm in a position to have a re-think but for now I'm living in those patterned tapered trousers from Next with a plain tshirt + vest top underneath for feeding. My suggestion for what it's worth is to just pick a pregancy/post-partum "uniform" that you're happy with and run with it.

I like @ILoveShula suggestion of leggings + man's shirt and it'll work post baby too. Whether or not you breastfeed you'll need something roomy while your bump goes down - whether that's weeks or months or years I'm not a massive fan of ironing though - do shirts need ironing or do you think I could get away with tumble dryer + hanging up?

Another thing to consider is that your body might change after birth. It might not be a permanent change, but breastfeeding can do weird things to your shape, so finding a maternity/postpartum style would see you through the next year and a half stylishly.

I iron shirts normally as I don't have a tumble drier. Because ironing each shirt is methodical it doesn't take long and is best done when there's just a hint of dampness still left in the shirt.

A stiff drink and good telly helps not much help, am I

Dungarees look great over bumps, but check how quickly you can get them up and down because you will have a baby pressing on your bladder. If they are quite loose, you can just slip the straps off your shoulders, but the bump will get bigger.

Beach dresses can get you through the hot days.

@BlairWaldorfLovesShopping thank you so much for your detailed reply! I really appreciate it. Lots to think about here.

Yes, it's my first baby. Congratulations to you too!

I love khaki so the joggers sound like a good shout. I also saw a grey pair on Hush that I think I'll give a go. My thinking is that I can team them with a nice t-shirt, trainers, a little necklace, my All Saints leather jacket, and that's a good casual option for trips to the shops etc.

I've also got my eye on a pair of Superga trainers after seeing them mentioned here, so think I'll try a pair of those.

Would you mind showing me an example of the kind of loose dresses you were thinking of for the autumn?

@Blossomtoes I hadn't heard of Kin before, but I've found some jumpers there that I like so thank you! Going to have a look and see if I can find any nice bargains on eBay.

@FreshFaceTime I really like the idea of a pregnancy/pp 'uniform'. If I can crack just a handful of general looks/outfits then I think I'll feel much more comfortable over the next year or two!

@ILoveShula I'm a fan of the leggings and shirt idea! Going to have a good rummage through my wardrobe today as I'm pretty sure I've already got some decent options in there somewhere :-)

@FlourishingBanana I bought these Supergas after seeing them posted on here. Love them!

www.johnlewis.com/superga-2843-comflea-leather-leopard-print-trainers-white/p4191692

@FlourishingBanana did you succeed in your attempt in creating a style? If yes, what is the trick?