Does anyone else’s hair but the life out of them?

[UhtredRagnarson]

I will add a disclaimer first of all- I am not a trendy Wendy, I don’t follow fashion or get nails done or know what style is in right now. I don’t have any budget for beautifying anyway and haircuts are few and far between too for the same reason.

But my hair always bothers me. It is thick and heavy and wavy. I don’t blow dry it often- only on the very rare occasion I was going out somewhere. When I get it cut I get layers and get the weight taken off it. It is currently shoulder length. It has been bum length and jaw length and everywhere in between. When it is jaw length it is obviously much lighter but I can’t put it up and I hate my hair being around my face so I have to wear head bands all the time. Right now I have a side fringe and it doesn’t reach my hair bobble so I’m still wearing the head bands. In fact I’ve taken to wearing a buff that covers most of my head. I am most comfortable with my hair up on a bobble with a buff on but as my hair is so heavy it pulls at my scalp and hurts my head and also I look like I’m constantly cleaning my house it looks untidy but when I leave my hair down It really irritates me and I get ratty so back up it goes.

Does anyone have a solution to this that looks acceptable to wear out on public?

But in the title should be bug

Have you tried french braids or pig tails.

So comfy and neat. Not particularly fashionable but for me much better than my tatty hair scraped back. If I do 2 french braids then my long side swept fringe gets tucked in nicely all day.

I also like french braids although I can’t do them on myself! I think they always look neat and put together.

French braids- I can always only do one side and then the otherwise looks ridiculous. I can practice though.

If you never wear it down why not go for a short style

I get it OP - my hair is the bane of my life some days! Covering greys (faff), keeping it from being too frizzy (so much effort), drying and styling it (takes ages).

I wish I could just wash and go, but it is a nightmare. I don't have those lovely bouncy curls that some women rock, mine is a frizzy mess that looks awful without being straightened or something done with it. These days I wear it up just to get it out of the way.

If I spend ages blowdrying and straightening, it looks lovely, but this takes so long I rarely do it. The last time I was at the hairdressers I came out feeling amazing, but that only lasted until 2 days later when I had to wash it again [sad[.

If I wasn't so vain I would shave it all off!

My hair is similar. It's just above my bra strap at the moment and it really irritates me when it's down but it's so thick and heavy it hurts my head if its up for too long, or constantly falls out if I put it up loosely. I broke two hair bands putting it in a ponytail this morning!

I prefer it straightened as it's easier to manage and less frizzy but don't want to damage it with too much heat. Plus it's either too hot for using straighteners or raining at the moment! Can't wait to go the the hairdressers and have it layered and thinned out.

@StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes

If you never wear it down why not go for a short style

I would love to but I just don’t have a face that can pull it off, also my mum, all her sisters, my aunts on the other side and my granny all have a short crop haircut and have done for years. I’m just not ready to join their generation yet.

@Mulletsaremisunderstood

I get it OP - my hair is the bane of my life some days! Covering greys (faff), keeping it from being too frizzy (so much effort), drying and styling it (takes ages).

I wish I could just wash and go, but it is a nightmare. I don't have those lovely bouncy curls that some women rock, mine is a frizzy mess that looks awful without being straightened or something done with it. These days I wear it up just to get it out of the way.

If I spend ages blowdrying and straightening, it looks lovely, but this takes so long I rarely do it. The last time I was at the hairdressers I came out feeling amazing, but that only lasted until 2 days later when I had to wash it again [sad[.

If I wasn't so vain I would shave it all off!

This is it exactly!

I have similar super-thick, super coarse hair. I have tamed it a bit by doing the following:

(1) I follow a modified Curly Girl routine ( the full is too much faff) and co-wash once a week. Currently just started using Cantu co-wash.
(2) I wrap my head in an old tshirt when just out of the bath. Really helps calm the frizz.
(3) Garnier Banana Hair Food as a leave-in conditioner. I use tons of it because my hair is that thirsty. It's also cheap.

Thanks @MareofBeasttown I will try those tips! I do need a proper cut so the weight isn’t dragging it down.

Have you tried the curly girl method to embrace your hair? My sounds like yours, a big frizzy mess. When it’s wet there is a definite wave/curl to it. However when I brush it when it’s dry, it just puffs out! Curly girl method can be quite complicated and overwhelming. I tried it before and stuck to the no shampooing, washing with conditioner instead. My hair was no good, too greasy. So now I follow only some of it. I use Alberto balsam apple shampoo, followed by the conditioner. Then I put a bit of extra conditioner in as a leave in (still Alberto balsam apple). Then I use Pantene curl mousse when my hair is still soaking wet. I brush it once, and then sort of squeeze it/scrunch it back into the curl shape and leave it to dry. I often go to bed with damp hair. When I wake up I have presentable waves/curls. If it feels a bit crunchy, I use a bit of the conditioner mixed with some water in the palm of my hand scrunch my hair again until it doesn’t feel crunchy. I never brush it when it’s dry. It’s actually a lot simpler than it sounds and a lot less effort than I thought it would be. Might be worth a try.

Thank you @princessbear80 yes I tried it before and like you my hair was horrible and greasy. My hair is oily anyway so it was just awful. I will try your method!

I would cut your hair to collarbone or just below. Grow out fringe. Get frequent haircuts and ask for it to be layered and textured so that you can wash and wear. Ask hairdresser for recommendation of a leave-in product to put on it damp.

Collarbone length is also not too much hassle to straighten or blow-dry straight every once in a while.

Yes, my hair has bugged me all my life. It is fine, thin, mousy, poker-straight, very breakable and gets greasy by 24hrs after washing. I'd kill for thick, heavy, wavy hair.

@lazylinguist the grass is always greener isn’t it?

Thanks @Happy36 I think collar bone is a good length for me.

Does your hair dresser deep cut/ slice your hair to take the weight out of it?

Revlon One Step has been a game changer for me.

I’m not sure what she does. She does layers and then uses thinning scissors but I’m not sure what the techniques are called.

What is revlon one step?

Google it, it's a massive oval shaped hot brush.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B072VH43KL/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_YRMA4S30SWMAJHPYKRZX?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Thank you.