How to help DD15 find clothes she likes?

[Wandamakesporridge]

Hi oh Stylish ones!

So I am coming to you with my current dilemma - how to help my 15 yr old DD find clothes, when she’s just not that interested in fashion or shopping.

I don’t mind that she’s not that bothered about her looks, it’s up to her, but she’s way past the age where I can just buy clothes for her and she could really do with some new clothes as she’s grown out of a lot recently. I’ve told her I will buy her some clothes if she looks online and sends me the links, but either she can’t be bothered, or doesn’t know what to get. Obviously with lockdown it was hard to go shopping, and anyway we weren’t going out that much. When I ask her, she says ‘I don’t need any clothes’, but recently she’s started seeing her friends more and has had a few ‘I don’t know what to wear!’ moments. Also it’s not so much of a problem when she’s in school uniform all day, but it will soon be summer holidays.

I’ve noticed that a lot of the girls her age seem to be very into experimenting with clothes and make-up, which she isn’t.
She went to the shops with friends a while ago and I had hoped that she would come back with something, but said she couldn’t find anything she liked.

I’d like to help her choose some clothes but without being too interfering, if you know what I mean?

I remember when I was a teenager I had no idea what was fashionable and I bought some awful clothes, I wish I had had some style tips. It’s fine that DD isn’t super-trendy but I still want her to feel she looks nice.

I have said I will take her shopping but I think it might be good if she’s had a think first about what kind of clothes she wants.
At ideas of which shops would be good to go to?

She doesn’t like anything revealing or sexy, and she’s not into the all-black heavy make-up emo look either (she doesn’t wear much make-up).
She likes to be comfy. Currently she wears skinny jeans or denim shorts with baggy t shirts and hoodies.

Also she’s just told me she wants some boots - her feet won’t fit in DMs so any idea what other brands we could try?

She’s 5 ft 7 and a size 6/8 with a nice figure so can generally look good in anything ….

Thank you!

My 15 year old lives in trackies and baggy hoodies, but she's just bought a pair of wide lineny trousers very floaty and a more fitted t shirt from urban outfitters (££££ but she had gift vouchers for there from generous relative)

She sounds like my daughter.

Her group of friends are all quite eco-aware and now buy second-hand, or swap clothes.

What daughter wears: jeans, especially black jeans, dungarees, shorts (often with tights).

Oversize hoodies, cropped t-shirts.

She borrows a lot of my knitwear and I'm trying to think where it's from. 'And other stories' and TK Maxx, I think.

Daughter likes boots. She does wear DMs mainly but we also found boots in Zara.

Having said that she doesn't like buying into the whole capitalist production of clothes thing, she doesn't say no when I buy her clothes. I've bought her oversize shirts from Gap, t-shirts from 'And Other Stories', and occasional things from 'skater-style' shops.

Also, I have a silk kimono-style jacket I'm probably going to give her. As mentioned in another thread, that seems to be something all the younglings are wearing at the moment.

I used to hate shopping with my mum at that age! The shops are a shambles at the moment tbf, I struggle to find things I like. What about some jeans that fit her (straight leg/mom jeans rather than skinnies) and some leggings and plain t-shirts? Practical and no effort really. H&M for tops and leggings and New Look for jeans. M&S have a decent selection of jeans at the moment too. Look on ASOS if you're willing to shop online.

What do you mean her feet won't fit in DMs? Length or width? Do the boots need to be branded? New Look have a reasonable shoe selection and are much cheaper than DMs, why spend a fortune if she doesn't even know what style she wants? Or go into Clarks/Office and have a look.

Just re-read your post and thought a bit.

Can you go shopping with her? And sit down somewhere, people watch, with her telling you what clothes she likes that people are wearing?

Or have a look at pictures of people on-line?

Daughter does show me things on-line that she likes. She'll say, ' like this look' and often tell me about it because it's all part of the on-line world she and her friends have been sharing during the lockdowns.

The other approach you can take is the one I took with my son - who was vehemently anti-capitalist-shopping. To the point that he ran away from me when we went out clothes shopping once and I just managed to spot him on an escalator.

I used to buy clothes, he'd say yes or no, and I just resigned myself to returning them.

And, yes, I know that sounds extreme but ... he was. I ended up buying clothes for him this way because he managed to get down to two pairs of trousers.

He's calmed down now but still buys mostly second-hand. I don't buy his clothes for him any more!! 😁

Ha yes I’d rather be doing other things than shopping with a teen to be honest! However if I don’t take her she won’t go at all.

We went to the DM store in Covent Garden but it’s the width - the arch of her foot is high and she said the boots were too tight across her foot. (She wears DM shoes ok).

Office is a good idea. We might be able to find some other boots that aren’t DMs.

Dd1 isn't interested in clothes. She'll sometimes pick things from H&M if we are there, or off the website if I encourage her to pick something

Glad to know she’s not the only one like this! I can’t keep washing the same 2 pairs of jeans for her (that are too tight on her anyway…)

My DD is 16 and not into clothes either. We have tried getting her to look online, encouraged her to go shopping with her best friends and I did a shop with her to a bigger city. She is really just not interested at all so I have given up.

By the way, my daughter thinks Brandy and Melville is truly the Devil's Emporium.

Which possibly means it might be worth a look for an item of teenage-covetable stuff. Perhaps. But not if she's as ideologically opposed as my daughter.

Oh, and daughter visited Freepeople (also in Covent Garden area) & loved the style but absolutely would look for similar second-hand.

And that might be another option - look at pix for a style and then look for cheaper options.

Yes the last few bits have been H&M - mainly because I put the website up in front of her and made her choose something! But she’s grown a couple of inches over the last year …

Is she on Pinterest? Would she be interested in browsing through and putting together some looks she likes? Stock in shops is really hot and miss these days, but the big retailers have tons of stuff online. H&M, Primark, Shein for ideas; in the summer they just want comfy basics until the day they realise they’ve no summer shorts/tops/swimwear. DD has knockoff DMs, Nike trainers, and white Converse - that plus hoodies, jeans, plaid shirts is what she lives in.

Could you get a few bundles on ebay, thats what I did when DD didn't know where to start? She has a few bits she loved in the end, a few things she experimented with and passed on, and a few were no from the start. But at least it helped her work out what she did and didn't like. And wasn't stressful or expensive.

Fly London is worth a look for boots. They last year's (if her feet aren't still growing!)

Thanks I’ll show her some of these websites. Maybe it will be better to buy online and return it (in fact that’s what I have been doing for myself), as it sounds like there’s not a lot in the shops at the moment.

And ... look at expensive websites (like And Other Stories, Ufban Outfitters, or even Freepeople) & then hunt for the cheaper option. There will be cheaper options.

I'm trying to avoid H & M at the moment (Uighyurs) but they're very good at doing low-cost versions of things.

I ordered almost 300 worth of stuff she liked from Asos. Did it with Klarna and sent about 250 worth of stuff back before the payment date.

@Wandamakesporridge Shein is a good website for clothes
Takes about 2 weeks to receive
Losds of tshirts /tops etc

Well we have to wear clothes so I’d treat the task as unavoidable. ( like getting hair out the plug hole in the shower). If you go onto Pinterest and search for capsule wardrobes for teens you’ll get examples like the one attached. I’m not suggesting you purchase those items but it will give you some idea of what a versatile wardrobe might look like. That way your shopping expeditions can be targeted.

Not sure if this is helpful or not but if I'm experimenting with a new look I buy from E5P. If you leave the tags on for trying on then you can resell anything you don't like (you can return for refund but I get the idea you're not really meant to, which I happily accept given the price). You can get a whole new wardrobe for £100. The clothes are fast fashion so not originally ethical, but E5P buys up unsold stock that might otherwise end up in landfill, so I feel less bad buying from them than from the original manufacturer. You don't know where the clothes are from (unless you spot a logo, or someone hints in the reviews (can't say outright)) so the quality is hit and miss. I've had some total bargains though and if you make a mistake you won't feel like you've thrown your entire wage packet down the drain. Once she's found her style you can look at more ethical places to shop if that's an issue for you/her.

My daughter is exactly the same! I buy ALL her clothes as she has absolutely no interest in going shopping. She also hates the whole concept of Brandy Melville and won’t wear anything exposing too much flesh (cropped tops, or tiny shorts) I just buy things I think she might like and return anything that gets her veto. So she mostly wears:
-Mom Jeans from Zara in a selection of colours - tried other brands but they don’t work for her;

• T-shirts - anything goes really - H&M, jack Wills, Levi’s, Gap, Hollister
• Nike air forces or supergas
• wide leg print culottes with plain T-shirts from Uniqlo;
• very sensible dresses from Oliver Bonas, Jack Wills, Gap;
• shorts - denim or plain colour - Gap.

She also has a selection of plaid and denim shirts, a couple of denim jackets, a leather jacket, multiple hoodies and sweatshirts (a lot of these are from small independent British retailers to add a bit of an edge). If she needs something a bit smarter, then she can wear her navy trousers with a nicer T-shirt or or top and add a jumper if needed. We have been concentrating on buying her nicer knitwear in natural fabrics such as wool or cashmere for birthdays, Christmas, etc., in the colours that suit her and which will last for years to come. It’s interesting but I can see her taste leaning towards more timeless classic pieces already (perhaps to match mine since I do all the shopping for her…). We both hate the modern throwaway culture, so I don’t mind paying a bit more. It also helps that we are roughly the same size, so she can always have a look to see if there is anything that she likes

My DD15 gets most of her clothes from Jack Wills, Hollister and Superdry. She lives in leggings or joggers with t shirts and hoodies. They can be pricey but they look good and they often have sales and offers of their websites. The stuff is generally pretty good quality and lasts until she has grown out of it.

Thanks all, there’s some good ideas here. We looked at Office and they have quite a good selection of chunky boots, not just DMs, so she has agreed to a trip there.

I’m going to look at other shops, and sit with her to get her to pick a few items, and see whether she likes any of it when it arrives.

She’s not keen on crop tops either and the clothing websites seem to be full of them at the moment!

Mine buys most things from depop or kilo sales.

My teens are the same, Dd1 is 17 and would happily live in joggers and T-shirt’s. She’s happy to shop in primark for basics, I take her shopping and occasionally she will choose something (a hoody from gap the other week), we buy stuff from EMP, H&M, Hype and new look. She has to wear sensible clothes to 6 form but that’s usually jeans and a plain tshirt. She’s really not bothered at all with fashion.