Going to the opera - I am flummoxed so please help?

[Ratonastick]

I’ve been invited to attend an outdoor opera by a rather posh friend. It’s a pretty small affair, 2-300 people per performance in the gardens of a historic building, all seated with a sort of drinks reception at half time (ie not one of those picnic in the park things). She’s an invited guest and I am her plus one so I need to get this right. I asked her and she vaguely said “Oh anything is fine. Your presence is more important than your outfit!” Sweet but deeply unhelpful.

I have absolutely no idea what to wear. Absolutely not a clue and I can’t find any photos of previous events to help me. I just don’t know. I think a jumpsuit or similar might strike the right note by being smart ish but not overdone and warm enough at 10pm. Or maybe a midi dress? Or wide leg trousers and a top (though I have stacked it in palazzos before now so have a healthy fear of them)

To add to the problem, I’m a 16-18, 5ft4 and carry my weight in my boobs and my tummy. I’m not an easy shape to dress at the best of times but generally look good in column dresses for smart or crop trousers and floaty tops for casual. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Firstly how lovely! I would start by looking online at venue to see if there is a dress code. Then usually for women it’s pretty flexible for outdoors. There will be women in ball gowns possibly but also women with floaty tops and trousers, so I would go with something you will feel happy in, whether that’s a long dress or trousers with blouse. If you’ll be on grass then think about footwear, wedges usually better than a stiletto. Take something warmer to put over your shoulders as the evening goes on whether it’s a jacket or a stole. I hope you have a lovely time.

There’s nothing to help online. It isn’t a regular venue and this is some kind of private event (not totally sure how you out on a private opera, but all will be revealed). It’s definitely not evening wear, ironically a quick note saying “black tie” would make the whole thing a doddle.

I’m pretty good for shoes as I tend to favour wedges at the best of times. I just don’t want to over or underdressed so I’m trying to find a reasonable midpoint. I think London members club garden drinks party is probably about the right point but am struggling to distil that into a purchase.

I think for an outdoor event what you suggested is fine. Bear in mind it might be cold so pick a jacket too. Also are you seated on chairs (hopefully!) or on the grass?

Midi dress sounds right.

Generally operas nowadays have people really dressed up and others in jeans.

I’d go for a nice summery dress and wedges with a wrap or jacket. Along the lines of something you’d wear at a wedding.

I think you're along the right lines with jumpsuit or midi dress. How about a belted shirt dress with flats, maybe flat sandals? I probably wouldn't wear heels to an outdoor event unless I was teeny tiny and / or wedded to heels. It reads as a bit ott I think? But I'm tall and generally swerve all heels.

In terms of warmth, maybe an oversize blazer for the evening or if it's going to be really chilly, maybe a trench coat. Cross body bag.

I was at Glyndebourne last week and saw the full range from frilly gowns to palazzo pants, midis, skirts and tops etc. Quite a few evening coats as it’s still quite chilly and nice wraps. So wear what you like and feel good in, maybe with a bit of jewellery.
Shoes are the main thing as it could be wet and stilletoes sink in the ground. I wore open toed, wide-heeled gold sandals (from M&S) and they were perfect even in a bit of rain. Enjoy!

We do Glyndebourne regularly and I usually wear straight navy silk trousers with a wrap top and have a plain velvet evening coat on hand or embroidered tunic style coat. (The latter can be hired). I prefer a "casual" evening wear approach to a dressed up day approach.

If it has been wet I buy a pair of neat low heeled shoes from M&S for £20 and they go straight in the bin afterwards. Always low heels anyway.

If it has been wet I buy a pair of neat low heeled shoes from M&S for £20 and they go straight in the bin afterwards.

WTAF.

Why WTAF - at a cheap pair of shoes or that I throw them in the bin once sodden and covered in mud?

I think Glyndebourne is probably the right vibe. I’ve found a few decent floral midis around and I have a grey linen blazer lurking at the back of the wardrobe. Alternatively I might go for navy wide leg linen trousers with a silk t shirt and a fancy kimono. I think either if those will be within a reasonable distance of the target.

Jesus,that has to be one of the most wasteful posts I've read on MN over the years!

Make sure you're warm OP most importantly, I doubt it'll be a dressy affair. Ask your friend what she'll be wearing rather than the dress code.

I think I’d probably go for an embellished midi skirt and a plain fitted merino jumper or similar. Not a cutting edge fashion look but practical.

What you’ve suggested all sounds fine. Friends of mine do this in their garden and I’ve been to a fair few - if it’s picnic in a field/gardens then people tend to be pretty informal. I’ve worn jeans plus lovely shirt or linen skirt with something nice etc (depending on weather). Nothing like ROH but to be frank I’ve worn jeans there too on occasion.
Have fun.

Just seen your reference to glyndebourne - it could well be a bit less formal than that - many are.

The navy wide leg sounds perfect. Keep in mind you will probably sit on grass. It is uncomfortable trying to navigate a skirt! Def low healed grass friendly shoes and def a wrap/ evening jacket of some sort.
Enjoy it op - what a lovely invitation to get!

wear what you like and feel good in, maybe with a bit of jewellery

This, absolutely. Plus comfortable shoes and a coat or jacket to keep you warm.

Don't over think this. Opera going has changed a lot over recent years. You don't have to dress formal - just neat really.

@Harriedharriet

The navy wide leg sounds perfect. Keep in mind you will probably sit on grass. It is uncomfortable trying to navigate a skirt! Def low healed grass friendly shoes and def a wrap/ evening jacket of some sort. Enjoy it op - what a lovely invitation to get!

Yeah, I agree actually.

Went to an event yesterday with DCs and DH and wore a dress. We had a picnic lunch and it was a little bit of a faff. Very happy to be back in my jeans today.

I’ve definitely got a chair, so don’t have to worry about sitting on the grass (thank god, I’ve tweaked my back so getting up off the ground is not an elegant process at the moment). I’m definitely heading towards the wide trousers/kimono outfit and I have a cashmere wrap that I can shove in my bag if it gets chilly. It will feel a lot more me than trying to find a specific outfit for the event as I will spend the whole night fretting about getting it wrong instead of enjoying myself.

Yeah, I think that's a good plan op. Enjoy!

@RosesAndHellebores

Why WTAF - at a cheap pair of shoes or that I throw them in the bin once sodden and covered in mud?

WTAF at putting a pair of once worn shoes into landfill when you could so easily clean them, dry them out and give them to charity.

(Apologies to OP - hope you have a wonderful time!)

Is it West Green Opera? Definitely layers as it can get quite cool sometimes as you move into the evening.

You will have a great time.

Oh I see @Sarahlou63 - my poor phrasing. Yes of course they get recycled. We are absolutely scrupulous about it.

It’s not West Green, I think it is a private thing and my friend is pals with the host. I’m quite excited to go.

The main thing is don’t underestimate how cold it can get later in the evening, especially if you’re out in open countryside. A jumpsuit or maxi dress to cover your legs sounds perfect, and I’d even consider wearing leggings underneath. Nobody will see and they’d make a big difference to warmth. Also you want proper coverage on your feet, not sandals. Tbh I’d wear trainers, I know they’re a bit ubiquitous at the moment and not really trying, but I’d rather that than be miserable with freezing feet all night. And both a jacket and big scarf/shawl- you can fold it up until you need it and then wrap it around you later. I know I sound OTT, but I’m a big fan of picnic concerts and the secret is definitely layering up, overestimating how many layers you need and keeping your feet enclosed.