What would a young man wear to an informal wedding reception- not a suit

[DelphiniumBlue]

We've got a family wedding celebration coming up- the wedding has already happened but this is the delayed celebration. It's an evening do, and DS has been working from home for the whole of Covid. He has no sense of style, lives in the same jeans and tshirts all the time, has nothing remotely suitable to wear. He doesn't care about clothes, but has said he will put on something new, if I help him source it.
I don't want to be embarrassed in front of family with DS looking like a
tramp -computer nerd- and don't mind helping.
But I don't know where to start for smart casual/presentable Any ideas?
He is 6', heavily built. Any suggestions welcome.

I'll try again with links:

www.next.co.uk/style/st049727/129723#129723
www.next.co.uk/g961009s12/590847#590847

These are the jeans that DS likes but he gets the skinny fit - there are other styles with stretch too and different fit types

www.next.co.uk/g27844s13/570703#570703

Or would he go for a shacket? This would be nice with jeans and a plain t-shirt under.

www.next.co.uk/g272604s1/263265#263265

My Ds is 26 and I think he’d wear black Levi’s with an Oxford type shirt ( Jack Wills used to be the shop of choice )
Are brown brogue type lace ups still popular ?

Mine wouldn’t wear chinos either. Perhaps it’s down to wear you live but I’ve not seen chinos on the under 30s for years

That’s where you live of course

It's an evening do and he wants to be comfortable and wear it again. I think black jeans and a shirt would be fine.

I was thinking of Queer Eye on Netflix - have you seen it, OP? They often have young men who are on the larger (and scruffier!) side on there and they always look great when they've been sorted out. Perhaps watch one or two of them and get some ideas?

I know he doesn't want a haircut but a good Turkish barber would make a massive difference to the way he feels about himself.

Something like this?:

www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/174866398017662637/

There are a few ideas on pinterest that might spark his imagination.

@HollowTalk

It's an evening do and he wants to be comfortable and wear it again. I think black jeans and a shirt would be fine.

I was thinking of Queer Eye on Netflix - have you seen it, OP? They often have young men who are on the larger (and scruffier!) side on there and they always look great when they've been sorted out. Perhaps watch one or two of them and get some ideas?

I know he doesn't want a haircut but a good Turkish barber would make a massive difference to the way he feels about himself.

Yes there are good tips on what type of jeans to get to detract from problem areas and a agree a decent barber would tidy up his facial hair without getting rid of it. I live in quite a small area and none of the barbers have ever been prepared to trim long hair, I taught myself on youtube to trim up DSs during lockdown so it appears I'm the barber now - i've always clippered DHs hair but had avoided scissor cuts up until now. I also do their eyebrows and beards...

See whether he likes any of these Paul Smith shirts - one in a darker colour with a pattern would be good and some are in the sale. Then just new jeans and boots will be fine.

What about an overshirt with a smart t-shirt and black trousers? too casual?: www.endclothing.com/gb/universal-works-bakers-overshirt-24671-ny.html

Also along the more casual style, some nice shirts that can be worn with black chinos:
www.endclothing.com/gb/a-p-c-button-down-oxford-shirt-cozab-h12121-iak.html
www.endclothing.com/gb/carhartt-wip-madison-shirt-i023339-0aa91.html
www.endclothing.com/gb/carhartt-wip-dalton-shirt-i016889-8996.html

Not being mean but those People posting chinos and skinny jeans have no idea and haven't read your op, also Oxford cut is not very forgiving to the broader boy.

@Ducksurprise

Not being mean but those People posting chinos and skinny jeans have no idea and haven't read your op, also Oxford cut is not very forgiving to the broader boy.

I seem to have missed your recommendations @Ducksurprise?

Skinny jeans are fine on larger people, it's a style, it doesn't mean just for skinny people.

There are loads of images on google of larger blokes in skinny jeans and personally i think a slimmer leg is more flattering as the wider fits just make them look more sack like.

It's difficult to recommend a style when we don't know where OPs DS is carrying his extra weight. He might have it round his waist rather than across the chest or may have just a generally large build but well proportioned. Trying some different options will help to see what is more flattering - if he's broad across the shoulders and not so much of a tummy then actually a large sized but slim fit shirt would look good. or leaving the shirt open with a nice plain t shirt underneath might help elongate him if he's not that tall.

It's not easy, but wearing clothes too big can look as bad as wearing them too small and trying to cover up to detract attention tends to do the opposite.

My DH is a big guy, for smart casual he would wear tapered chinos, the style suits his legs but gives a good shape and silhouette, with a smart dark T-shirt tucked in, belt and an open over shirt/shacket, similar to this one. The open shirt gives a good shape and disguises the area he is most self conscious about.

Everything needs to fit well, rather than be baggy as that's when things look a bit sloppy.

Loads of styling ideas on Pinterest for bigger guys.

So many kind and thoughtful replies - I was half expecting to be told off for doing DS's shopping for him!
Cherrydown that shacket thing is nice and maybe a bit more current than just an untucked shirt - DS would never tuck a shirt in. ElephantOfRisk thank you for your links and understanding, and Ducksurprise it's nice to feel that his issues are understood.
Hollowtalk, yes I've watched Queer Eye a few years back, and had forgotten all about it.
I used to get his clothes from Jacamo when he was younger, but now he's working had thought maybe there was somewhere a bit more upmarket. I have mooted the idea of a barber to tidy up beard and hair, I can see it would look sharper if he did. I'm trying to find ways of saying he has to smarten up without calling him a slob to his face!
I'm struggling trying to find something to wear myself, but have a few options - it doesn't help that that the whole bridal party are really cool and stylish and we've all put on lockdown weight since we last saw them! And I'm a lot greyer, too.

When we got married DH and his brother and Dad all wore nice black jeans, shirt and went alternative for footwear - so vans, DMs, skate shoes etc, In a bright colour like red they can work in a semi formal setting, especially if brand new. Basically I think if he isn't comfortable going super formal he should go quirky. I also don't think a jacket is necessary, a shirt on its own is fine, everyone takes jackets off after five minutes anyway once the evening gets going.

I agree that a jacket isn't necessary.

@BackforGood

Depends on how 'informal' it is

One down from a suit and tie, for my ds (who is 25) would be a pair of black formal trousers and an open necked shirt

Next level would be a pair of black jeans and either similar shirt - plain, probably blue, or he has a navy one with a sort of green thread in it, but it is still a shirt with a collar

Then you get into smart jeans and potentially a check shirt, or a smart thin jumper type level

I know a lot of young men in early 20s and I have never seen any of them wear chinos, as always gets suggested on MN, so maybe is is regional or to do with your income or demograph ?

I thought the same. Weren't chinos a more 80s or 80s thing for slightly older men?

So many kind and thoughtful replies - I was half expecting to be told off for doing DS's shopping for him!

Well we all need help with some things sometimes and if he's stuck in his room he wont have much of a real life social circle to ask. My oldest has no interest either but I care that he looks decent when we go out and it must be better for his mental health to feel nice in something too, so i pick some things that i think he'll like and he chooses what to keep. DS2 I have much more of a feel for so if i see something he'd like I will pick it up for him as a treat. It's not that neither are capable but i do shop for them for different reasons and don't judge anyone for similar as long as the person is getting choice and not told how to dress (beyond me telling DS1 that if we are going out for dinner he is not wearing jersey shorts)

I'm sure a lot of us are going to experience a dip in confidence when faced with social situations we used to sail through, and I think it must be much harder for young people who don't have those ingrained memories / behaviours to fall back on.

Anyway op, what about your outfit?

My eldest son is only a teen, but black jeans and a lighter but definitely not white shirt are what he'd wear. He'd feel as if he was in fancy dress as an old man in chinos, though he likes and wears cargo trousers in paler colours they look more casual than black jeans.

I know a lot of young men in early 20s and I have never seen any of them wear chinos, as always gets suggested on MN, so maybe is is regional or to do with your income or demograph

I agree, I often feel this advice is coming from a mums idea on how to dress an albeit adult child, rather than the reality.

Elephant I don't have any suggestions, I was reading out of interest as in a similar predicament, skinnys, chinos and especially Oxford fit shirts rarely fit comfortably or well on the broader boy.

Op I think you are approaching it all in a lovely way. Hope you find something and have a lovely time.

@Floisme

I'm sure a lot of us are going to experience a dip in confidence when faced with social situations we used to sail through, and I think it must be much harder for young people who don't have those ingrained memories / behaviours to fall back on.

Anyway op, what about your outfit?

Maybe this www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/564498134546952054/ assuming it's not too hot. I'm struggling, my waist has disappeared , my arms are better covered up, and I hate wearing heels these days, but can't really rock up in trainers! I have some black wedges that would look OK, I guess. I don't like being too hot, my ankles swell in the heat, but I look better covered up!

The link won't open for me OP but I'd find something that emphasises the narrowest part of you or a part of body you like. Often the narrowest part is just below the bust so something wrap or A-line with good underwear might fit the bill or again there is nothing wrong with trousers (some smartish ankle grazers?) with flats and a drapey top maybe? If you have good boobs/chest area then try to focus attention to your top half (without getting your tits out for the lads if you know what I mean - like a scoop neck type I mean)

I wouldn't recommend M&S chinos to a teenager, I had this kind in mind which is not totally uncool IMO www.endclothing.com/gb/edwin-85-chino-i025978-8902.html

[quote Pinkcadillac]I wouldn't recommend M&S chinos to a teenager, I had this kind in mind which is not totally uncool IMO www.endclothing.com/gb/edwin-85-chino-i025978-8902.html[/quote]
Agree, much better than the M&S but size only goes up to a 36.

There are hundreds of pairs of chinos on ASOS, plenty of different cuts/colours so certainly not limited to 'older' style!