Dilemma. How do you balance wanting to buy better quality/more sustainably/investment pieces with wanting to look modern?

[RaspberryThief]

Prompted by waking up to realise I've had a really grim year and desperately feeling the need for a style reboot, but suddenly feeling quite lost and unsure how to go about it.

For the last few years I've tried to shop more sustainably and better quality. Lots of good quality second hand via ebay, some good quality stuff in the sales. But I've woken up to realise that my wardrobe suddenly feels quite staid and dated. I don't feel the need to be bang on-trend but I do want to look a bit more modern. But I also really hate the idea of buying cheap clothes just to stay vaguely on-trend. I love the idea of buying investment pieces, dressing in really high quality clothes, shopping more ethically, and I hate poor quality fabrics and tailoring, but I still want to feel vaguely stylish and modern.

Given that fashions do move on, is there any answer to this particular dilemma? Or are there brands that are good quality and sustainable but also fairly stylish and modern, that run that elusive thin line between "classic and good quality but boring and frumpy" and "stylish, modern, affordable, but will rapidly look like last year's fashion and the fabrics are rubbish"? I've just ordered some dresses from Mango and Monki (lower price point than my typical high-end high street via ebay/the sales type purchases) and they do definitely look much more stylish, but the fabrics are pretty poor (I refuse to buy polyester full stop, but these are still viscose, or cotton so thin it's practically gauze, and everything is unlined) and I can't really see myself still wearing them in a few years' time... Is there any solution?

Like you, I like the idea of this, but not the reality -I'd get so bored wearing the same classic pieces all the time.

So I buy most of my clothes from charity shops. That way I'm recycling, not contributing to fast fashion, and giving to charity at the same time. Plus I feel it gives me a more "individual" look.

@borntobequiet

I’ve pretty much worn the same style since the 1980s and regularly get compliments on how I’m dressed. As pp have said, find what suits you and tweak it. Weirdly the most contemporary part of my look right now is the silver hair.

I couldn’t do this although I totally get that it works for some people. I would just get too bored. Clothes are a really fun part of my life and I love to change things up

As someone who has never been interested fashion, possibly because I am short and fat, this is fascinating!

I'd like to look better as I admire women on the school run who somehow manage to look like they're wearing an actual outfit rather than my usual whatever jeans and t shirt fit me and aren't stained.

I signed up for the Mys Tyler app which shows women of the same size as you in different outfits. I've seen some things I like but have yet to actually shop for anything.

I've been daring this week, yesterday I wore a green t shirt rather than my normal blue and today I'm wearing a soft shirt rather than a t shirt, wildly exciting for me!

I think, my aim is to have versatile pieces which can be worn a few different ways, depending on how the wind blows re fashion. But I love shopping and clothes. I don't like to look frumps or dated. So I will always buy the odd new thing. Just aim to reduce how much I buy and buy from ethical designers as much as possible.

I'd be really interested to see/hear about your style borntobequiet, particularly how you've tweaked it over the decades, if you don't mind sharing?

@Floisme

I'd be really interested to see/hear about your style borntobequiet, particularly how you've tweaked it over the decades, if you don't mind sharing?

It’s nothing special! I suppose I tweak with shape and cut, sometimes colour but only if it suits me. Lots of black. Black jeans/trousers, straight, skinny or wide as looks right at the time, ribbed or oversized jumpers, loose/draped or very fitted jackets/coats depending on what’s current, some colour (currently bluish reds or petrol blues, olives) in loose fitting or tight fitting tops/shirts or dresses). Dresses are either quite long or very short. I have two leather jackets I wear with almost anything, one a pink/red colour. Black tights, black shoes/boots/flats. Well that’s winter. Summer black jeans (I have two blue pairs but rarely wear them), linen or cotton trousers/tops/jackets in greys or beiges, some colour (teal/blue/pink), oversized white shirts over vest tops, bare legs, some heeled espadrilles and lots of flats, Menorcan sandals. I buy from outlets, in sales from more expensive shops or from local boutiques. But essentially I buy now what I’d have bought 30 years ago if it had been in the shop. (A couple of items I’ve worn in the last year are about 25 years old, and one was secondhand then). I like natural fabrics and prefer clothes that are either tight and fitted or loose and comfortable, either very long or very short and as fashion seems to swing between the two it’s easy enough to keep up. Bags are canvas or leather, either quite large or very small, often rucksack styles and never carry any discernible logo or any gold or bling. My skin is reactive so I just use a tinted moisturiser and tinted lip balm, and my haircut - an inverted messy bob - isn’t dissimilar to the cut I had in the 80s. I don’t wear stripy Breton tops, trainers (unless exercising) floral or ditsy prints or any jewellery other than stud earrings and a steel metal watch. I was pleased when the 19 yo receptionist at work said that she hoped I looked as good when she got to my age, and followed it up by saying that to be fair, she’d wear what I was wearing herself now. Well that all sounds me me me. You might take a look and say what a mess!

clothes that are either tight and fitted or loose and comfortable, either very long or very short and as fashion seems to swing between the two it’s easy enough to keep up

This is a really good point! I tend to aim for the middle, so things never go totally out of style. But actually having some of each probably works better.

I could never stick to a particular style for decades! Kudos to those who can, I suppose. I can't pull off the androgynous look either, although appreciate that it looks amazing on those who can. I don't like the contrived "influencer" look. I like feminine (rather than prissy?), and I like colours that suit me (I'm a very blonde scandi looking, so bright, clear, bold and deep black and navy) and structural, minimalist shapes. But not masculine like divebar. So I guess ... I stick to those parameters but otherwise like being modern and en point

My androgynous look is quite different this time around. In the 80s/90s I took the idea much more literally but that was when I had an androgynous body. It's all a lot more relaxed this time: slouchy trousers/shirt / slightly oversized jacket or a mannish looking cardigan / tweed overcoat.
I'm liking men's accessories too where practical e.g. those vintage paisley silk scarves or opera scarves, a signet ring type of thing - they're also harder to pin down date wise which ties in with this thread.

I won't go as far as to say I'll stick with this look but it feels right for now.

I tend to veer from masculine to overtly feminine or sometimes combine the two. I've had a partially shaved head in the recent past and love a big shirt over jeans with trainers and trench or blazer. But equally, I love flouncy dresses!

I'm a fat chubby hourglass, so I have to show my waist or I look like the side of a fridge, but I do manage masculine at the same time I think.

I've already said it on another thread, so at the risk of sounding like a weirdo, I love @Divebar2021's style.

@SpinbikeNotebook

I tend to veer from masculine to overtly feminine or sometimes combine the two. I've had a partially shaved head in the recent past and love a big shirt over jeans with trainers and trench or blazer. But equally, I love flouncy dresses!

I'm a fat chubby hourglass, so I have to show my waist or I look like the side of a fridge, but I do manage masculine at the same time I think.

I've already said it on another thread, so at the risk of sounding like a weirdo, I love @Divebar2021's style.

Spike that’s really interesting. I quite like the androgynous look but I’ve always felt that I’m not the right shape to carry it off. Size 12-14 hourglass, wide hips and always need to nip in at the waist. If I wear anything oversized I just look big.

I’m also a “ chubby hourglass” but I’ve gone down to a 16 rather than gone up to a 16 so psychologically feel pretty good about it. I still wear some of my 18s so the look is now slouchier than it was before. I do androgyny but it comes in many different forms I suppose and it’s about balancing proportions. Sometimes I like pretending to be Kristen Scott Thomas in Gosford Park with the shirt & tie and red lipstick and other times a tuxedo jacket, with trousers and silk shirt with my hair pulled back in a very clean look and very minimal jewellery. Sometimes I’m a “ blue stocking” in heritage brands like Daks with brogues / DM shoes or mixed with Vivienne Westwood bondage boots. Then on the other hand I’m happy to be ultra feminine Gillian Anderson in The Fall with my silk shirt tucked into my pencil skirt and not exactly stilettos but heels of some sort. It’s why I won’t do a capsule wardrobe even though I think it’s an admirable ambition. I don’t want to get rid of something good quality and classic because even if I don’t wear it for a couple of years it will probably come around again. If I saw you all I know I’d be running home to try and recreate your looks at home but that’s the fun of fashion isn’t it.

I definitely have to do nipped in at the waist, so I do things like a really simple loose shirt dress, but then I put a belt over the top and a long pendant with it and I don't do up the top few buttons so it looks like a v neck.

My favourite version of this is a black shirt dress from H&M with a burgundy, crocodile belt from All Saints. I usually wear it with Birkenstocks. Looks great over a tan (imo). Big shades and gold jewellery chef kisses at self

Also a little black leather, crossover bag with gold hardware.

Today I wore straight leg jeans over a blue shirt with a trench coat and dad trainers. The trench has a tie belt which cinched me in. DH said I looked like my own dad 🤣. But a cool mum at school complimented my coat, so nerr DH.

@SpinbikeNotebook

I definitely have to do nipped in at the waist, so I do things like a really simple loose shirt dress, but then I put a belt over the top and a long pendant with it and I don't do up the top few buttons so it looks like a v neck.

My favourite version of this is a black shirt dress from H&M with a burgundy, crocodile belt from All Saints. I usually wear it with Birkenstocks. Looks great over a tan (imo). Big shades and gold jewellery chef kisses at self

I wear pretty much that look all summer long!

You have fantastic taste @WhereDidIGoNext

@SpinbikeNotebook

You have fantastic taste *@WhereDidIGoNext*

I do really like the look! So much better for me in summer than shorts would be.