Help with coarse, grey, frizzy hair. Desperate.

[DidgeDoolittle]

I have been letting my natural grey hair grow out for the last 20 months. I now have shoulder length hair with about 2 inches of brown dye on the ends. My hair is probably about 50% grey at most. I have a bright white streak at the front, which I love. The rest is salt and pepper.

I have always had fine hair ( but a lot of it) that is very dry. Now it's grey, it's horrendously dry and coarse. The top looks like a frizzy wire brush. I have tried so many things to no avail. I do not look the vision of silvery loveliness I envisioned. More like a badly cared for medusa.

I am in danger of going bankrupt with the amount of useless products I've bought and abandoned. I currently have these items languishing in the duds box; olaplex, 8 second miracle, colour wow dream coat, Moroccan oil, elasticizer, coconut oil. Need I go on?

I wash my hair twice a week. I use a detox shampoo about once a month and a purple shampoo the same. The white bit goes yellow if I don't do this, but purple shampoo is very drying.

Any suggestions gratefully received.

I haven't completely cracked this yet, but what I'm trying are:
Only hairwash twice a week
Redken PH bonder pre treatment, mixed with a little vitamin e oil, leave for half an hour
Purple shampoo and conditioner (Aveda blue malva)
Let hair dry about 90 per cent before drying. I have just invested in a decent hairdryer.
Then Aveda smooth infusion style prep smoother before drying and add a very small amount of Aveda smooth infusion glossing straightener to tame flyways.
Don't brush too much while styling or afterwards, mine goes fluffy if I get that wrong.
It's better than it was but I haven't got it right yet.

Can you post a picture?
It’s probably not as bad as you think?

I suggest ditching all shampoo with sulphates, parabens, silicone, etc. I have fine curly hair that is probably about 50% grey and it is lovely and soft since I started following the curly girl method. Of course, your hair may be straight, but I think using shampoo without those harsh ingredients might still work.
Noughty aren’t too expensive. I like the Shea moisture brand and only wash my hair once a week.

@Jumprope309

I suggest ditching all shampoo with sulphates, parabens, silicone, etc. I have fine curly hair that is probably about 50% grey and it is lovely and soft since I started following the curly girl method. Of course, your hair may be straight, but I think using shampoo without those harsh ingredients might still work. Noughty aren’t too expensive. I like the Shea moisture brand and only wash my hair once a week.

I've been trying to do this. I'm currently using Faith in Nature shampoo and conditioner. My detox shampoo is Noughty. Do you know of any smoothing/styling oil without silicone? Even the ones claiming to be natural seem to contain silicone.

I don’t know if it’s silicone free (to be honest I don’t care - shoot me now) but Redken anti snap leave in treatment is brilliant. I never leave my hair to dry naturally, that makes it go frizzy - so I wash and conditionit, put on the Redken stuff and blast it with the hairdryer until it’s almost dry. Then I spray it lightly with a heat protection spray with keratin, section it off and use the Babyliss Big Hair on it (doesn’t give you big hair, just smooths it). Then I quickly turn on the cold setting on my hairdryer to set it. Voila - works for me.

I can’t, sorry, because I don’t use any hair oil.
Do you have straight hair?

My hair has gone frizzy since having children/ menopause/ gone grey. I’ve been doing curly girl (or rather wavy girl method, joined a few Facebook groups) and actually discovered my previously poker straight hair is actually wavy! Could your hair be wavy or curly now?

My hair is quite wavy. I've done curly girl in the past, although the curls/waves have always dropped quickly and been a bit patchy and frizzy. Willing to give it another whirl though.

@DidgeDoolittle I have the same problem, curls dropping quickly, until last week when I bought some new gel, recommended on fb. It’s called Snot, but don’t let that put you off!
Finding the products, and the method, is the tricky bit. I find the curlsmith protein line works well for me, followed by snot, and putting it on soaking wet hair, gets really good clumps.

[quote CrystalMaisie]@DidgeDoolittle I have the same problem, curls dropping quickly, until last week when I bought some new gel, recommended on fb. It’s called Snot, but don’t let that put you off!
Finding the products, and the method, is the tricky bit. I find the curlsmith protein line works well for me, followed by snot, and putting it on soaking wet hair, gets really good clumps.[/quote]
Sounds........interesting 😄

I second what @crystalmaisie says - finding the right products and the right application method for your hair is key. I find upside down styling and wet plopping works best for my fine curly hair.

Also second a good gel on soaking wet hair. I use Umberto Giannini Curl Jelly. It dries with quite a good cast.

I’ve started sleeping with my hair wrapped in a silk scarf too and that has been amazing for retaining the curls from one day to the next and stopping frizz forming overnight.

I have grey curly hair too . I use Dr Paw Paw 10 in one style cream £10 from next- yellow bottle and find it works well . I do blow dry my hair though. Have you tried White hot Hairs lifeshine oil ? Although I'm wary of recommending more products that might not work . For completely natural results I often blow dry my hair then put a few drops of avocado oil through it for the frizzies .

Kerasilk straightening treatment, has made a huge difference to my frizz & apparently gets better every time you do it. Takes a couple of hours at the hairdressers & is fairly pricey, but like you I've spent a fortune on expensive products that have done nothing. Not damaging like a Brazilian blow dry either.

I have curly white grey hair. I use a purple shampoo and conditioner daily, never blow dry, never brush, and use Bumble and Bumble Don't Blow It after towel drying.

Also, have you tried a silk pillow?

@Thighdentitycrisis

Can you post a picture? It’s probably not as bad as you think?

This.

Coconut oil totally dries my hair out and it takes weeks to recover. Maybe try a detox wash, then only use hair products without coconut and silicones. Thoroughly Google the ingredients though as coconut ingredients are often called by different names eg cocos nucifera.

Sadly I'd say ditch your shampoo conditioner brand as it's clearly not working for you.

I'd recommend the dry hair pureology brand. Wash twice a week rather than each day. Maybe go to a hairdresser and get a cut & blow-dry. See if you like the end result and I'd you do then buy the product they used for the blow dry.

Also- is your hairdryer ionic? I find if it spits out the correct ions it makes hair tonnes less frizzy