Teen style - how to manage?

[GrimDamnFanjo]

I'm pretty relaxed about my 14yr olds style. Think gothic e-girl look.
She's just forwarded me some new clothes suggestions and I'm hearing my mother say "you're not going out like that"!

Anyone else?

I don't stop mine wearing more or less what she wants.

She has a right (mostly) to wear clothes she likes. We discuss appropriate clothing and also have very open discussions about why some clothes are considered sexy and some not...we talk about why for example, I'm not comfortable with some clothes...because men fetishise these particular items. She knows what fetishising means.

She also knows that she does not have to accept inappropriate comments or behaviour from anyone regarding her choice of clothing.

@FortunesFave thanks you've hit the nail on the head there. The ones I'm recoiling against are fetishistic and I was unsure how to discuss with her to avoid making her feel responsible for male responses.
That's really helpful advice.

Mine is emo at the moment and I love it (thought sure I could get on board with fet stuff!). My issues would be the other way round, if she were into the current AnnMarie a-like look, I'd have to bite my tongue a lot then.

@Hughbert

Mine is emo at the moment and I love it (thought sure I could get on board with fet stuff!). My issues would be the other way round, if she were into the current AnnMarie a-like look, I'd have to bite my tongue a lot then.

It's not quite 'fet stuff' I said that men fetishise some clothing.

MEN do that.

Such as over the knee socks teamed with a short checked skirt. This is the uniform of many schools but MEN fetishise young women and girls so the clothing is now fetishised.

It's not 'fet stuff' like ball gags ....that's 'fet stuff'

I think one should pick one's battles and clothes aren't one worth having!

My 13yo can wear what she wants. Anyone sexualising someone of her age has a problem. She gets enough restriction on what she wears at school.

@FortunesFave

I don't stop mine wearing more or less what she wants.

She has a right (mostly) to wear clothes she likes. We discuss appropriate clothing and also have very open discussions about why some clothes are considered sexy and some not...we talk about why for example, I'm not comfortable with some clothes...because men fetishise these particular items. She knows what fetishising means.

She also knows that she does not have to accept inappropriate comments or behaviour from anyone regarding her choice of clothing.

This absolutely the right approach. Very well put!