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What to were to bat matizvah?

16 replies

parietal · 13/06/2021 08:51

What should my 13yr old wear to her friends bat mitzvah? DD is not interested in fashion and wears the same jeans / grotty t shirt every day. I've never been to a bat mitzvah and have no idea of expectations.

Should this be a dress like a wedding? Or is jeans & smarter t shirt ok?

OP posts:
parietal · 13/06/2021 08:52

Were = wear obviously

OP posts:
Nataliafalka · 13/06/2021 09:31

Short Skater style dress or jumpsuit with trainers is the default outfit.

Nataliafalka · 13/06/2021 09:34

www.newlook.com/uk/girls/clothing/dresses/girls-black-butterfly-textured-frill-dress/p/694953809

Anything that kind of style with trainers is perfect. They’ll likely get given a tshirt or maybe a hoodie when they’re there and they’ll come home wearing that

newnortherner111 · 13/06/2021 10:38

Could you ask the friend's mother or father? It is kind of your DD to be supportive of her friend and respectful of her faith.

Zinnia · 13/06/2021 13:29

They’ll likely get given a tshirt or maybe a hoodie when they’re there and they’ll come home wearing that

Umm it v much depends on the style of party! DD's friends will not be getting a t-shirt or a hoodie!

bendmeoverbackwards · 13/06/2021 13:58

If it’s for the party the girls will be in dresses. Doesn’t have to be a fancy dress but I would avoid trousers.

Is she going to the synagogue service? That will definitely require a skirt or dress, not too short and her shoulders should be covered.

Nataliafalka · 13/06/2021 18:25

@Zinnia can’t remember the last one without tshirts. I didn’t do them for my eldest and six years later i am still reminded of it as too child cruelty, o did them for middle child and managed to do them for less than £2 a tshirt

parietal · 13/06/2021 19:27

Thanks. DD hates dresses but I'll try culottes or jumpsuit.

I can't ask the host mum because the whole class are going and I'm sure she has plenty on.

OP posts:
Zinnia · 14/06/2021 00:20

@Nataliafalka we clearly move in different circles! Grin

bendmeoverbackwards · 14/06/2021 09:25

The t-shirt is irrelevant. Lots of people do them now but certainly not all! Even if a t-shirt is given out, the OP's dd will still need a dress or smart-ish outfit to wear.

@parietal a jumpsuit sounds lovely.

Whatnowwhy · 14/06/2021 09:27

Wow things have changed since I was attending bat mitzvahs! We had to dress very conservatively for the synagogue-knees and upper arms covered etc.

bendmeoverbackwards · 14/06/2021 09:38

*@Whatnowwhy they haven't changed that much! Still need shoulders covered in synagogue but the OP is talking about the party.

Thisismynewname123 · 14/06/2021 09:55

Assuming you're referring to the party, and not the synagogue, then a playsuit or jumpsuit is fine if she doesn't like dresses, worn with trainers. It does partly depend on venue. If it's at home/marquee/local community hall then it will tend to be more casual than if it's in a hotel function hall.

www.newlook.com/row/girls/clothing/dresses/girls-red-ribbed-wide-leg-crop-jumpsuit/p/694629360

www.riverisland.com/p/age-13-red-floral-bardot-playsuit-481961

www.next.co.uk/gl6290s13/r90294#r90294

A skort is fine as well (although not with heels like in the picture! Always with trainers):
www.newlook.com/row/girls/clothing/shorts/girls-black-scuba-frill-skort/p/637533401

If it's the synagogue, then a skirt or dress, not too short, with shoulders covered.

Soontobe60 · 14/06/2021 09:59

@parietal

Thanks. DD hates dresses but I'll try culottes or jumpsuit.

I can't ask the host mum because the whole class are going and I'm sure she has plenty on.

A quick text ‘hi Bat Mizvah’s mum, what’s the dress code for the party please?’
Zinnia · 14/06/2021 13:22

Check what type of synagogue it is, if indeed as PPs have said she is going to the service. Advice above re skirts/ shoulders is bang on for a mainstream orthodox synagogue (which most likely will be called United Synagogue on its website, or Federation if you are in the north) but Reform or Liberal will be more relaxed (don't know about Masorti, perhaps others can advise) - probably still cover the shoulders (jacket is fine) for the service but zero issue with trousers or culottes.

Definitely text the BM girl's mum though, she really won't mind.

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