Eek - face to face interview - 5ft3in, 14 stone, massive norks....any tips?

[anon666]

I've got an interview - great news - but to my horror after a year of lockdown, eating sourdough bread etc, I'm heavier than ever.

It's a formal, professional position high up in an organisation, so power dressing is needed.

However, I'm short and dumpy, and don't tend to look good in suits or anything formal really. I have disproportionately enormous boobs which teeter on the brink of beach postcard no matter what I do with them, but apart from that I'm fairly cylindrical in shape. 😂

I'm old enough to be relaxed and happy with myself as I am. However, formal interview clothes are a bit of a nemesis, as I tend to go colour and interesting in work clothes day to day.

I'm torn between going for long linen trousers with a smart expensive T shirt type top, or dress with smart cardigan.

I really can't carry off a jacket, I always look like a child wearing parents clothes.

Any advice?

Good apostrophe work!
That's a nice jacket and a good reduction.

@Maireas thank you

@ElizabethTudor and @cherrypiepie

Thanks for the links. I would never have thought of those, that's so helpful.

Feedback from personal stylist appointment.

Mixed feelings. On one hand I wanted a personal stylist appointment to help me push back boundaries and consider alternatives to my usual repertoire. So on that front it certainly succeeded.

But on the other hand the guy had pulled out a selection of very huge, drapey, crepey outfits that I would have previously dismissed as age 70, not 47. No offence to 70 year olds - but I see myself as mid-40s curvy (maybe excessively so) and glamorous, not Hillary Clinton. 😳

It was humorous though, because everything he pulled out was like the opposite to anything we've said here. The first item was an enormous, crepe two layer white top with a floating v neck and would come down to mid thigh. No fitting around the midriff, in fact it had a pleated back to allow more spread. He was recommending that with a long crepe pleated skirt, again white with a bold orange and black floral design alongside the pleats. It was as far away from anything I would wear as possible, and would totally drown me.

Just wow.

Then a jumpsuit came out, which I guess I would consider. My sylph like daughter wears a jumpsuit, but I would never have considered one for my height/shape.

All in all, it did exactly what I would want if I was going to challenge myself, so that's positive.

Not sure about the interview, but maybe the working wardrobe if I get the job.

The first item was an enormous, crepe two layer white top with a floating v neck and would come down to mid thigh.

Something like that would look like a tent with big boobs.

I'm the same age as you and it sounds like I'm a similar shape, and that's far 'older' than anything I'd think of wearing.

The stylist sounds hopeless. I think a woman might have done a better job, particularly someone your age.

Huge and crepey does not sound good at all op.

And white on top for those of us who are very well endowed in that area can make us seem much bigger ... or like a baker.

And I have seen some curvier ladies look really great in a jumpsuit but it depends do much on proportion. They don't work at all well if, like me, there isn't much of a gap between your tum and boobs, or you have a short back.

Trousers/jumpsuits don't work for me at all as I have relatively narrow hips so they just emphasise my top-heaviness. I think they look best on hourglass shapes because they show off a small waist. I have hardly any waist even when I'm slimmer.

Nothing to add, except to say your title of thread had me howling - and I wish you the very best of luck... whoever the company is, they’d be lucky to have you for your sense of humour alone!!💐
I have silly-size boobs, too - a blouse the next size up always seems to help x

Black dress with a smart cardigan (black or navy) and a colourful silk scarf
I wish I could wear this.
I look like my great aunt Phil when I put a scarf on. It somehow ages me by decades!
I'm in the same position as the op.body and shape wise so I'm here for advice.

@Arbadacarba

The first item was an enormous, crepe two layer white top with a floating v neck and would come down to mid thigh.

Something like that would look like a tent with big boobs.

I'm the same age as you and it sounds like I'm a similar shape, and that's far 'older' than anything I'd think of wearing.

Yes, I was visualising a tent when you were describing that white crepey thing. And I say that as a short, booby person (so I’m sympathising!)

And white on top for those of us who are very well endowed in that area can make us seem much bigger ... or like a baker

👩🏼‍🍳👩🏼‍🍳👩🏼‍🍳👩🏼‍🍳

This had me howling! 🤣🤣

@Arbadacarba haha, I agree, this made me chuckle. I suspect we are similarly proportioned because literally everything you are saying is what I have concluded after years of clothes trying-on.

The jumpsuit thing - I said this to the stylist - I literally have no bum - and my legs taper off. I do a lot of cycling and have surprisingly slim thighs for my weight, so I'm all on top - boobs and heavy "waist". Trousers look hilarious on me - unless they are voluminous. A jumpsuit would ordinarily make me look like Miss Trunchbull or an Olympic weight lifter. Thick neck too. 😂😂😂😂

@Stanleysaysyes I'm enjoying this thread no end. You have seriously hit the nail on the head about the white crepey thing on top. The very last thing I need is a volume adding colour or fit on top. 😂😂

Does anyone remember Demis Roussos?

@notacooldad, I've been converted to the scarf look mainly because of having a thick neck. 😂😂😂 Also any distraction from the comedy boob look is welcome. I always feel like the boobs are a distraction.

By the way - has anyone else experienced the "Parallax" boob effect on zoom calls? Where your boobs look infinite because they project forward to the camera, leaving you with a pin head floating somewhere in the background behind two barrage balloons?

My aunt is exactly the same as me, top heavy and short. She wears a lot of scarves. I loved "Great Aunt Phil", will remember that one. 🤣

Re-book personal shopper? Ask for a woman, and he very specific in what you want? He sounds horrendous. I've had 3 at Debenhams for holy communion, works Xmas party etc, all brilliant. Shame Debenhams had closed really!

@Oblomov21

I've done exactly that. In person shopper on Monday 😅

I'm the meantime, here's a pic of me dressed by the other stylist.....

Good. Pleased OP.

Love the Demis.

[quote anon666]@Oblomov21

I've done exactly that. In person shopper on Monday 😅

I'm the meantime, here's a pic of me dressed by the other stylist.....[/quote]
Superb.
I’d offer you the job on the spot.
🤣👍🏻

Anon666 don’t give up with the personal shopper, I use one in JL who is fabulous, she has always dressed me so much better than I ever would myself and always goes above and beyond running down to the shoe section etc, everything I’ve bought I’ve always worn - unlike some of my own purchases 😀

Have a look at Whistles, they have got a couple of zip front jump suits, not tight and surprisingly slimming (Whistles Corey Geometric Print Zip Through Jumpsuit, Black ) and a navy dress that are lovely.

A good personal shopper will have you sorted in no time.

@ElizabethTudor

And white on top for those of us who are very well endowed in that area can make us seem much bigger ... or like a baker

👩🏼‍🍳👩🏼‍🍳👩🏼‍🍳👩🏼‍🍳

This had me howling! 🤣🤣

Not an original observation from me I confess; but a phrase from a member of old Mumsnet "royalty" back in the day ... but I've found it to be so true

[quote anon666]@notacooldad, I've been converted to the scarf look mainly because of having a thick neck. 😂😂😂 Also any distraction from the comedy boob look is welcome. I always feel like the boobs are a distraction.

By the way - has anyone else experienced the "Parallax" boob effect on zoom calls? Where your boobs look infinite because they project forward to the camera, leaving you with a pin head floating somewhere in the background behind two barrage balloons?

My aunt is exactly the same as me, top heavy and short. She wears a lot of scarves. I loved "Great Aunt Phil", will remember that one. 🤣[/quote]
I know what you mean about the zoom effect. I try to keep my boobs out of shot but that means I have a face that fills the entire screen. I now sit further back and have lots of background.

Bad luck with the personal shopper - tho I think JLewis has a terrible selection of plus size clothes so it’s possibly unsurprising that their shoppers aren’t much use when it comes to a curvier figure. (I have never understood why JL can’t get onboard with some more upmarket ranges given that there must surely be some demand - even if it’s just from mumsnet users!)

FWIW I have a jumpsuit that I really love and was very surprised by. I think wide-legged/culotte jumpsuits can look really elegant and sound like they might suit you. My jumpsuit (several
years old from asos of all places) has a wrap front so magically seems to help my boobs and my bum — a very particular skill set that few garments have!

Unbelievably my car broke down en route to personal shopper. Had to be towed home, not got anywhere near the shops.

😬 It's getting a bit stressful now.

Oh no! What bad luck! What is your budget?