Please help my face

[Terriblyold]

I'm 35 and look about 60 and I am so down about it I never want to come out of my house again.

I'm fit, athletic, eat healthily, never smoked. I think it's mostly bad genes as my mum was the same. But probably not helped by not drinking enough water or wearing sunglasses or moisturising throughout my life. I always looked young and thought letting my skin be (never wore make up) was a good way to look after it.

In the last year I have aged terribly. I'm really not exagerating, it's not fine lines but deep ones, when I smile I look like a bulldog with lots of folds. The difference between my youngish athletic body and old lady's face is shocking.

Can anything at all help or once it's happened it's too late? I want to cry. When I was growing up my mum was berating herself constantly, saying she looked old and ugly and isolating herself through lack of confidence. She has passed away and I barely have any pictures of her as she always avoided them. I don't want to repeat that cycle, but it's after I took a few smiley pictures with my son today that I realised how bad I look and just want to delete them all ;(

Ok. Well why not start by detailing what your current skin care routine is? I would have thought you would need to cleansing well for your skin type, treating the wrinkles and then protecting yourself from further damage with a high SPF. How you treat the wrinkles will no doubt we dependent on your budget and willingness to have treatments to your face ( injectables etc)

Thank you for responding. I have no skin care routine, just a basic facewash and basic moisturiser. I bought a few retinol products a few months ago but am not using those currently as I am pregnant and find it difficult to know what's safe or not. I think I've accepted I'll look particularly bad until the end of pregnancy but would love a game plan for after. I have a reasonable budget and would consider treatment to my face to save me feeling miserable for the rest of my life!

I think pregnancy is definitely making me feel worse as my skin is so dry it's peeling and I have these weird dark patches as well, but the deep bulldog-style lines are here for good and they are what bothers me the most.

You mention that you're athletic, do you have low body fat? A very thin face can make a person look older. What's your current skincare routine? Sounds like you need some good hydrating products. Even just a really rich moisturiser, drinking lots of water, wearing a sunscreen daily. Dehydrated skin can show up every line and crease.

There are of course things you can do with botox and fillers if that's a route you want to look at.

I'm sorry you've lost your mum, must be awful to have so few pictures of her, and to feel yourself berating your own appearance as she did hers.

I'd ditch the facewash as they're pretty drying. Try an oil or balm cleanser instead, that you massage in and then remove with a flannel. You could try some glycolic acid to remove any dry surface skin and then splodge on a rich moisturiser like Weleda Skin Food Light. You don't want to introduce too many new things at once but these should be okay. And in the morning a brightening Vitamin C serum and an spf.

Also the Foreo Bear is spoken of highly on other threads. It's a microcurrent device that helps build muscle in the face, giving a lifting effect.

If it’s really as bad as you say maybe consider Botox with a recommended practitioner after the baby’s here?
SPF, not a moisturiser with added SPF, but a dedicated SPF is vital to protect against further lines.

Echoing the spf advice. A dedicated spf50 on your face, every single day, will help prevent further signs of aging. I would also agree with an oil cleanser, and also a gentle face scrub maybe once a week (don’t overdo it). Drink at least 2 litres of water a day. Moisturiser twice a day and don’t forget your neck.

Maybe when your not pregnant or breastfeeding you could looking into something like skin and me?
I'm going to sign up soon
Hoping it will help my signs of aging
Also I religiously wear spf 50 every day now!!!

I highly recommend the Foreo Bear. I had seen them before and thought they were just gimicky things that didn't work until I saw people on here raving about them. I think lockdown really did have a dramatic effect on my face. I had quite saggy jowls that almost made my face square and my cheeks looked gaunt. I splurged and bought it.

OMG I cannot tell you how pleased I am!! I started noticing a difference after a few days. My skin is plumper and firmer. I can actually feel a difference in the tightness of it when I touch my face. The jowls are almost gone and my whole face just looks different and more youthful. I can't stop staring at myself now! My deep forehead lines and are much improved and I can feel the tightness in my forehead so much so it's like I've had Botox. Unbelievable! I will use it for the rest of my days!

I've recently invested in the Heliocare gel sun cream that everyone on here raves about and will probably do skin & me as well. I also drink a lot of water, but I do have quite dry skin

You need SPF (dedicated one), any moisturiser and retinol - again, proper prescription one.
All the rest is not going to make a visible difference to your skin.
I despair at my friends in their late 30s who buy expensive skincare and then go into sunbeds - or who don't use proper SPF outside "because they don't want to be too pale and want a bit of tan".

Photos can be deceiving, get the wrong angle and lighting and you'll look nothing like you actually do... plus if it's selfies you'll be distorted due to the lens being so close to your face. I've taken pics where I look 10 years younger and others where I look decrepit and it's mainly down to the type of lighting. Go easy on yourself!

Sorry about your mum op.

I expect some of this is down to your own perception, and hearing your mum talk about herself negatively. But it’s never a bad thing to take good care of yourself.

If you want to improve your skin, diet, exercise and water are a good base, which you’re already doing. But if you can afford it, Start getting monthly/regular facials. It’s so important if you want to keep your skin healthy and avoid cosmetic surgery.

In between, get a decent moisturiser, face wash and gentle exfoliator (with no bits in). Exfoliate once a week. take breaks from make up when you can.

Get a hydrating face mask too, and use spf 15-30 daily. Don’t forget to use eye cream!

There’s also tons of cheap at home things you can do, like using olive or coconut oil on your skin overnight. And if you get spots, sudocrem is awesome. Apply before bed. Aqueous cream is also a wonder and super cheap.

Avoid any products with alcohol in. These strip the skin of natural oils.

Thank you so much all, I could cry at the supportive words and advice, it's made me feel a lot better.

It also makes me feel like there are simple things I can already do to help improve my skin appearance which will make me feel better even if the wrinkles are still there. I will buy SPF right now and look into an oil cleanser (I had no idea that was a thing). I will also start drinking more, I think that's a big part of it as it started going downhill after DC1 was born and I breastfed for a year. I feel like all water and plumpness left my body then and I need to rebuild it.

Love hearing about the Foreo Bear, I've been wondering if there was anything that could help without needing to inject my skin. I'll look into it, let me know if there are any other similar things out there.

I'll also try to ignore that picture and focus on ones where I look a bit better!!

You'll probably be pleasantly surprised at the speedy improvement you'll notice just from drinking lots of water and using some really rich cleansers and moisturiser. Lots of fine lines disappear once your skin feels properly hydrated.

P50 will change your face as will their other products but they are very expensive so not sure what your budget is.
I always looked older too and I started on these products about 4 years ago and my mum says I look younger now that I did 10 years ago. I met someone I worked with 20 years ago recently and he kept on saying OMG you haven't aged at all. I was always someone people thought looked WAY older so this is only a recent thing for me

If you can only afford one of the products biologique recherche products make it P50. There is a thread on it here too somewhere too

If you’d like a quick fix, as well as the moisturising skincare regime recommended by others, I’d recommend Dermalogica HydraBlur primer. Someone asked me if I’d had Botox when I started using it 😂

If you want a nice tinted moisturiser you can wear when exercising then try the Skin In Motion one, Work It. It’s great.

Drink lots of water, bit of exercise if you can to get the circulation going. Try to cut down and sugar/snacks if you eat them.
Gentle exfoliator, a good cleanser and spf. Some nice make up/primer.

If your lifestyle doesn’t lend itself to spending ages on skincare you might be better off trying to keep it simple, decent cleanser, moisturiser and spf to start then if you want you could add in serums and toners and face masks and exfoliation (I would avoid scrub types and go for chemical ones like bha and aha) but spf and proper cleansing and moisturiser would be a really good start.

Also you have young kids you are probably knackered so try not to be too hard on yourself if doing some skincare can be a bit of “me time” thats great but just look after yourself in general.

Hey OP. I'm 40 and have never had any form of skincare routine either. Recently I started thinking my face looks really old and I have stepped a tentative foot into the world of beauty. If I'm honest I used to think it was only for vanity, shoving all those products on the face but after reading up about the ingredients I have realised there are some excellent reasons to adopt a new routine.

My basic routine now takes me only about ten minutes morning and night and I've really been enjoying how it makes me feel. I can't tell you if it is working yet because it's only been about 6 weeks but I do believe my skin feels more hydrated and less dry patchy skin.

My basic routine is now

Cleanse with oil based cleanser (literally rub it over face with clean fingers then clean off with soft flannel in warm water. If wearing makeup it is recommended to do it twice but I rarely wear makeup so not an issue for me.

Toner (mine is a light aloe Vera based spray with Hyaluronic Acid which feels lovely and dries on the skin quickly)

Then I add a serum - I have a vitamin C based one which is good for evening out skin tone, calming redness etc; a serum for blemishes which I use around hormonal times and my teenager is having great success with; a facial peel with AHA - this is one I only use at night. It contains enzymes which are supposed to clear blocked pore and dead skin leaving a brighter complexion. As I'm new to it I only use it 2-3 times a week

I only use one serum at a time. I recently added hyaluronic acid for the ordinary however after much reading I'm not going to use that often as too much of it is thought to cause dehydration of the skin as it is a product which pulls water from anywhere. I thought it pulled it from the atmosphere but overload causes it to pull water from your skin so I am taking that one carefully.

After serum I add a lovely moisturiser which I mix with 2 or 3 drops of a facial oil. I have a vitamin one and an anti ageing one containing rose hip. I massage this into the skin for a minute or so

Finally, in the morning I follow up with a mineral facial spf. I admit I am struggling here to find one that I really like. I've tried a few and I'm using them up before I buy more. I really don't like wearing them but everything I have read says this is the absolute number one necessity to protect your skin.

My advice to you is to start simple. I know MLM's are really frowned upon here but I actually got to this place by buying some Tropic products. I absolutely adore their cleanser/toner and moisturiser. I really liked it because it was a simple way to learn about skincare and they did the hard work for me. Now I've got the bug and started reading I may move over to other brands but I honestly think that somewhere you can buy a small collection of products that are designed to work together took the fear out of it for me. (For the record, I do not sell the products myself and you can buy them direct from the website easily)

So, whilst pregnant, start simple. Cleanse and moisturise. Spf every day.

The DHC oil cleanser is great, I've been using it for years. Or the Boots No7 Melting Gel Cleanser is a dupe for the now discontinued Clarins gel cleanser and is really nice. I have oily skin and it's way better, oddly, than foaming ones that leave your skin feeling drier.

I'm the same TerriblyOld - ageing appallingly and it can really get me down, although less so as I find things that work. I've spent a fortune looking for solutions and this is my experience:

Sunscreen is overrated. I have a sleep disorder and spend very little time outside at all and the time I do spend outside is usually in the evening, for a short walk to the pub, for example. I wear sunscreen religiously even so, including indoors (and have done since my teens) but my wrinkles still came in deep and very prominent (and I get plenty of sleep, just not at the same times as most people, so it's not sleep deprivation that's caused them either). I still wear it and think you should too but it's not had the miraculous effects some claim for it.

I use retinols but can't say I've noticed any real difference from quite a lot of use now. The science is behind them though and they're not too expensive these days so I'm going to continue.

More effective for me has been botox for lines in the upper face (although I don't actually get botox these days as my forehead is ageing far better than my lower face and would look odd for it to be so out of sync. I've tried it though and it gets rid of them almost completely).

Also ultherapy worked wonders for me and took 4 or 5 years off the areas targeted in the time it took to do the treatment (it's expensive though and you need to go to someone who knows what they're doing). It's supposed to keep on working for months afterwards but it's harder to assess that given it's gradual). For me I had a really deep crease forming on one side of my face which I think was from sleeping awkwardly and it dialled that right down to the point it doesn't bother me at all now.

I've not tried filler yet but am going to soon. My nose to mouth lines are pretty awful as the ultherapy couldn't treat them, to my great disappointment. Also keen to try the Foreo Bear and see if it does anything for those lines.

Finally, the most miraculous thing of all has been My Perfect Eyes cream that you can buy online and costs about £30. It took 10 to 20 years off in about a minute. I was absolutely astonished. It works a little on other areas but not to anywhere near the same extent. Only issue is you can't wear it with water or oil based makeup and even powder which is supposed to be allowed (or some types anyway - mineral powder I think?) can break the "seal" that's created, if that's the right word (probably not). So you can't wear it with sunscreen which isn't great but for going down the pub it's fantastic. It's done what several thousand pounds worth of PRP and Tixel (the latter being the most effective thing I'd discovered before I found this stuff) failed to do pretty spectacularly for my under eye lines (botox only works on the ones at the side of your eyes).

And there are other things you can try like changing up your makeup. I find a really rich lipstick colour can help me look less washed out (I'm very pale) and draws attention away from everything else (maybelline matte ink will stay put for hours). As does good eye makeup and good brows and glasses. Glasses (if you need them or want to pretend you do) in particular hide a multitude of sins and while I like wearing my contacts when I'm going out out, I like hiding behind my glasses when I know I'm going to be spending time in harsh light. Statement earrings etc can also draw attention away from things you perceive as flaws and make you look put together but they might not be your thing - I know a lot of people prefer small and subtle. Play around though and you should be able to find a handful of things that work with your budget and make enough of an improvement to give you at least some of your confidence back!

Oh, also My Perfect Facial has good reviews (although isn't miraculous to the same degree, and people with jowls on Youtube said it really helped theirs). I've ordered some but have yet to try it! You can check out reviews for anything and everything on Youtube and RealSelf will give you satisfaction ratings for cosmetic treatments like botox etc. so you get some idea of how likely it is to be money well spent.

I’ve found tretinoin, glycolic acid and vitamin c help.

Vitamin c serum after face wash in morning, then spf 50, at night face wash, glycolic acid toner, tretinoin and then moisturiser.

Slight improvement in wrinkles in 5 months (only added vitamin c last week) but clarity and smoothness has improved quite a lot.

50+ SPF - absolutely mandatory daily on face, neck and chest. Not a little bit either, at least 1 teaspoons worth. I can stress daily SPF enough! Even if staying inside, helps with the glare of screens.

I suggest going to see a facial skin specialist for a recommended approach to what to use. I use a range of products from Cosmedix and Aspect Dr. Some serums you will not be able to use while pregnant and breastfeeding. By seeing a professional they can map your skin and understand exactly what you need. It's expensive, but a good one will slowly increase recommendations of what you need - I tell my beautician my budget and she works within in.

Water - at least 2 litres a day. I keep a drink bottle on me at all times, usually drink 3 litres.

Food - good to see you have a great diet! Making sure you include healthy fats too - olive oil, fatty fish, avocado, etc.

Sleep - I bought the silk sleep pillows, apparently more gentle on the skin as you sleep. No idea if it works, but I'm an active sleeper and my hair no longer looks like a birds nest when I wake up.

I'm 34 and mistaken for being in my late twenties. I'm the only one in my immediate friendship group yet to go down the botox/filler route. That being said, I have no problem with using these products (carefully) when I develop lines and wrinkles.