Funerals

[HandforthParishCouncilClerk]

God I wish I didn’t have to write this. Do people still wear black to funerals?

Unless told to wear bright colours I would always stick with black, navy or dark grey

Yes, I believe that sober colours are correct for funerals - but it depends what kind of event and what the wishes of the family are. Sometimes people will request a particular colour etc, but if they don't I would stick with something dark. It doesn't mean that you have to look like a sack of spuds though - I bought myself a gorgeous Hugo Boss black dress for my dear Dad's funeral last year. He would have wanted me to look nice.

I wore black to my dad's funeral this year...but with bright red heels. Just because

I wore black for my Dads funeral but wanted to look my best so bought a new dress from all Saints and coat from Karen Millen - heeled but comfortable boots and Dior Addict which he always commented on when I wore it
Feeling fab got me through a very difficult day
Hope your funeral goes as well as it can

Black is safe but so are smart dark colours. I wore black trousers, houndstooth coat and cream jumper to the last funeral I went too. It was sub zero temps so warmth was a big concern. My mum was at the same funeral and she wore a long dark grey coat.

Generally, yes, unless the nearest and dearest requests otherwise.

There will usual be people in various greys / navy but black is often a colour people will have, and it is the safest bet for most funerals.

But if you need to buy something new, don't necessarily spend too much time/ money as you might not want to ever wear it again 💐

Do you know what, it doesn’t matter damn what you wear. Actually being there is the important thing.
I have no idea what anyone wore to my mother’s funeral but I do know who was there. I also know who travelled 600 miles to attend - Dear friends who live at the other end of the country but made the journey to support me and my family. Can’t tell you what they wore but can tell you
That I still have a lump in my throat when I think of their kindness on that day ten years ago..

@Everyoneknows

Unless told to wear bright colours I would always stick with black, navy or dark grey

Yes, same here.

I don't think I noticed what anyone wore to my mum's funeral either, but I wore black. My best friend bought himself a new black suit at short notice - I remember finding that really touching. Other than that, don't know. But I do tend to stick to those sombre colours myself when I go to funerals.

@ThistlesandHarebells

Do you know what, it doesn’t matter damn what you wear. Actually being there is the important thing. I have no idea what anyone wore to my mother’s funeral but I do know who was there. I also know who travelled 600 miles to attend - Dear friends who live at the other end of the country but made the journey to support me and my family. Can’t tell you what they wore but can tell you That I still have a lump in my throat when I think of their kindness on that day ten years ago..

However, the OP wants to know what people usually wear. Because most people don't want to stand out, or 'make an impression' at a funeral. It is normal to want to be respectful and to 'fit in'.

Sadly I went to a gathering 'en route' to a funeral (last Summer when you were allowed to stand outside but only 30 could go into the service) of a young man, and loads of his workmates drove to that place, to stand and pay their respects. They were all wearing their work clothes (think practical 'trades'), and that was fine for that occasion - they had all, like you say, taken their lunch breaks or whatever at that time so they could come and "be" with his family and other friends and there was no chance for them all to go home and get changed. However if they were going to the service, they would have dressed for a funeral service, because that is the "done" thing, and no-one with any sort of empathy would want to upset the grieving family on the day, but 'not bothering'.
Yes, you 'can' wear what you want but 'generally' people wear sombre colours and smart clothes.

@ThistlesandHarebells I know what you mean, I don’t think I noticed what anyone wore to my dad’s funeral either. But I just wanted to check from an etiquette perspective.

Thank you, all. I have a black floral dress, do we think that will do?

It’s similar to this except high necked.

If it's small print it should fine. If it's massive bold flowers probably not.

Nor if it's really booby
If you're in the UK it's chuffing freezing so you'll be covered in a coat anyway so don't worry too much

Yes. I have never heard of anyone criticising outfits at a funeral. They criticise the prior relationship, contact, motive for attendance but not the outfit.

I wore a yellow dress to my mum’s funeral. It felt right.

Yes, I think that is a fine choice and appropriate.

Sorry for your loss op

Yes to the dress that was and sorry for your loss

Yes, that sort of print is absolutely fine.