Talk to me about prom dresses

[paralysedbyinertia]

DD's school has confirmed that they are going ahead with their year 11 prom. DD will be 16, and really needs a chance to feel a bit special after a shitty year.

I'm just wondering about prom dresses. Where to buy, how much to spend etc. We went to a local shop today and tried some beautiful dresses, but they were all in the range of around £400! That is not unaffordable for us if it is the norm, but it seems really extravagant for something that she might only end up wearing once! She also doesn't want to be really overdressed compared to her friends!

We tried some other places on the high street, as well as charity shops, but didn't find anything remotely suitable.

There are lots of cheaper dresses online, but it's really hard to tell which ones are reputable and it's also hard without being able to try stuff on. We are totally confused about her size - she usually wears a size 6 but in the posh shop, the dresses given to her by the lady were uk size 2 or us size zero. She is petite but not that tiny - are prom dress sizes generally different?! We now don't know what size to order if we buy online!

DD is short so it's likely she'll have to have any dress altered. Dresses are often quite gapey around the top. Any idea how much we might typically have to pay for alterations? They're all included if we buy from the posh shop.

We are both so confused! I don't really care what she wears, I just want her to feel comfortable and a bit special - she has worked so incredibly hard, followed all the covid rules without complaint and tried so hard to stay positive, so I want her to really enjoy the prom. She just wants to find a dress that she loves, she fell in love with one of the expensive ones but is worried that it's wasteful because she'll probably never have a chance to use it again.

What do other people do? Are there any really good websites or shops that people would recommend? (We are in Midlands) Does it matter if you can't try the dress on before you buy it? We only have a few weeks so can't keep sending them back!

Any advice would be welcome!

My DD is 18 now but yes I remember the Prom Dress angst .

She had a very clear idea of what she didn't want .
One thing they all discussed in her group was who was wearing what colour as no-one wanted to match.

DD is 5'7" and a size 8 so we had a good choice as she's a fairly standard height/size

We got hers in a shop that sells Wedding and Bridesmaid dresses . They had a sale , it was well under £100 , IIRC nearer £80 .
She didn't want a strapless or one too puffy .
She got a gorgeous grey/lilac with breading and sequins .
Then there's underwear , shoes, bag , DD wore a bangle, earrings and jewelled hair grip
DD did her own hair and make up
And the limo................

If you buy a more pricey dress you could sell it on. But there's a lot out there (and on eBay) that are better priced

There are a lot of options online but the cheaper ones may be from China and could look very different when they arrive. We were lucky enough to find a local Prom shop that was disposing of last years stock so everything was half price, we paid £200 for DDs . Her friends have typically paid from £200- 600 for theirs. We looked at online and high street suppliers but she wanted to try things on and compare a few, I think she tried on around 6 before deciding on the final one. We had a 45 minute individual appointment. Happily she found one she loves
She is a size 6/8 but was trying on dresses in a 4 and we will be having the dress taken up professionally as she’s not very tall.

And yes, we need shoes, hair, makeup, jewellery etc but Grandma has given her £200 towards that.

Definitely another here who recommends going to see if there's a local wedding/bridesmaids shop. We're going to one, which has second hand bridesmaids dress and all under £100, bargain!

Dds was from chi chi London. All of her friends had similar price range. Her shoes and bag were asos. I paid around £20 for alterations, it just needed taking up as she is not that tall. Her bra was pretty pricy at about £35/40 as we had to get a wonderbra strapless because of the low lace v at the front if her dress.
I bought her a sparkly bracelet from the costume range at Debenham of all places.
She and most of her friends had their hair done (it was £40) but I don't know any who had make up - they were all happy to do themselves. A couple had manicures but dd has love nails so just painted them herself. DD is year 13 now, the big 'prom style' dresses were definitely not the norm 2 years ago at her school.

I really don't think you need to spend a fortune for them to look lovely.

I bought DD's from TKMAXX.

Tk mAxx and quiz are good for reasonably priced dresses. Coast used to be good too - but think that has gone now? Would really recommend the Oxfam online shop if you are willing to consider charity shops but haven’t struck lucky locally. You can return if it doesn’t fit / you don’t like it - and because prom and other formal wear is often only worn once or twice, it’s usually in fantastic condition. No one has bought much formal wear in the last year, so they should have lots of stock,

Oh my other charity shop tip, would be to take a trip to the “naicest” town locally and have a look at the charity shops there. And possibly the designer section of the secondhand website thrift - they sometimes have needle and thread brand dresses which are gorgeous (but £££ to buy new)

Have you tried ASOS? They have a bridesmaid section (and probably a prom one too), lots of colours and styles, and a really wide price range. Returns are really easy.

I've just bought Dd2's from Chichi clothing. Asos have a great range, Coast too. The best I found though are actually from a site called ever-pretty. They have an enormous range of dresses and the quality is really good.

I spent £500 on DD1's last year for the prom that didn't happen. It doesn't fit Dd2.

Do you have an outlet village near you? We got DD at a house of Frazer outlet for £36! It was the style she didn't think she wanted so worth trying on a range of shapes.

I bought both oth my dds dresses from www.sexyher.co.uk. Don't be put off by the name. Good quality, very reasonable prices.

Quiz?

I gin my DD's from monsoon in the sale. I honestly would not spend £££'a in a dress that is wore for a few hrs.

My DD was delighted her dress did not cost a fortune like some of her friends. She said a number of them wouldn't dance because they were worried about their dresses.

Dd is yr 11 too and they are going ahead with the prom.
Dress number three should be arriving on tuesday.
First was from Next, showed too much boobage according to Dd, so I took it back, next was too small, so went back, now number three, similar to number 2 but with three quarter lace sleeves in another size is on it's way.
Shoes she already had from a function we went to and her feet haven't grown, she found a little clutch bag in a charity shop in a very trendy small town for £2.50
I think I'll have to get an inch or so taken off the bottom if the last dress is anything to go by.

As a veteran of year 11 and year 13 proms, I found that the year 11s went way OTT for their proms and spent £££££ on a dress that they only wore once.

DD's dress was £65 from Debenhams, and she wore it twice.

By year 13 everyone was far more sensible and wore lovely dresses that could be worn on other occasions. DD's dress was £32 from Next in the January sales.

Dd's was £45, I hope it fits, next stop will be TKmaxx if it doesn't.

Thank you so much for all of the suggestions. I will look at some of these tomorrow.

We bought a dress last year, absolutely gorgeous and cost an absolute fortune and prom obviously didn't go ahead ☹️ I'm thinking of selling it so you may find now people realise this years proms are happening and do the same. So you might be able to get a brand new designer dress at a really good price.

We're just starting out on this too...prom is early September.

DD's friend has bought hers already from here...

uk.millybridal.org/?gclid=CjwKCAjwkN6EBhBNEiwADVfya18NNmyLCZWFof-c4CRnHe6hIT6vhgKRkKbWSO-HaQq2_j2ZN17w_BoCJ9YQAvD_BwE

You send their measurements and it's tailored to fit for around the £100-150 mark.

DD has seen one she likes there and her friend is really happy with the quality and fit of hers so we'll probably get that, but we are booking a fitting at our local prom dress shop as well, mainly for the fun of trying on and seeing what suits her first, just in case.

If you pay seperately for alterations then the price will likely also depend on the type of dress. E.g. a dreass with a lot of sequins sewn all over the top will likely be more work to take in around the bust as they would need to unpick all the sequins around the seam, reduce it, resew it and then put some of the sequins back. Dresses with complicate corsetting stuff going on might be more complicated than a shift style.

Dd2 got hers from Monsoon .
She is the same size as your DD

DDs got theirs from Monsoon and Next, one was Crisp white, quite fitted and sparkly mid length, but she looked stunning in it as she has long dark naturally curly hair, and wore a Tiara.
He sister chose a Midnight Blue full length Gown, which she actually bought out of a January sale, it’s quite silky and Lacy, and she borrowed her sisters Tiara and bought a pair of sparkly shoes to go with it.

Tbh, it wasn’t their outfits that we had a problem with as much as their Transport, a few parents clubbed together to hire a stretched Limo to take their DDs to arrive in style, some turned up in a borrowed Tesla, and there were also an assortment of Sporty Supercars begged or borrowed from various Dealerships and local company directors in exchange for a donation to their Chosen Charities. We ended up using a Flame Red Ferarri Sports car loaned from the classic collection of a very famous Chocolate Maker, via a friend who was in charge of maintaining them.
Her sister arrived in a new White Range Rover, along with her friend who’s Mum owned it!

I sometimes think though that this all goes a bit too far, even the local Junior school have started organising Prom Nights for those about to leave and Graduate up to the Comprehensive. They put on a Disco and a Photographer at School and organised Soft Drinks and Pizza. The expectations though are not much different to what the year 11 pupils have, and not every parent can afford to pay for such things with costs being so high per ticket.

Thanks for all of the advice!

Thankfully, transport won't be an issue for dd. Covid restrictions permitting, they're all planning to pile around to her friend's house, because he lives near where the prom will be held, and they are going to walk from there in all their finery. I'm already lecturing dd about the importance of wearing comfy shoes....

Proms at primary school.... Thank goodness that trend hadn't hit when dd was that age!