Getting sexy again after a baby...who is now a toddler.

[Letsbekindplease]

Hi. Might be posting this in the wrong place but I’m needing some help.

I’m 33. A mum to a nearly 2 year old girl and partner of a wonderful guy. We’ve been together over 5 years.
Sex since the birth of our daughter has fizzled out. I would say on both sides. We’re tired all the time. Work opposite shifts. But we’ve both put weight on and I think both just a bit self conscious and to be honest, just not really up for it. We’re besotted and in love and not looking at splitting up for the record.
I have zero confidence and feel frumpy all the time. I’m still overweight by about 2 stone.

Last night we had a discussion and today is the start of change. We’re going to the gym and the healthy eating has started

I just need a bit of advice on how to be sexy again. In terms of clothing. I used to be so good at it but I have lost my way.
Any advice of nice bras and pants but on what you would deem as a nice outfit ?
I always look frumpy in clothes that I see other people in. It’s so annoying.

My boobs used to be great. Now they’re pointing at the floor and feel like empty bags on my chest. If I lie down they fall to the side like fried eggs. Need a good push up bra or a boob job... bra would be better.

Thanks in advance x

Ah it’s tough isn’t it, but good for you

I think my best advice would be to have a capsule wardrobe (sorry to sound like trinny and susannah) where you pretty much know that everything goes and can throw on an outfit without thinking about it

I’d say a few pairs of jeans, some decent white trainers and flip flops, some nice T-shirts, a good mac, some nice cashmere sweaters and a few casual, easy dresses is a nice place to start. But you might not like to wear any of that

What’s your usual style / size etc?

And YES to good underwear

Thanks so much for your reply

I’m about a 14 and can squeeze (and I mean squeeze) into a size 12 at times.

Style.... I couldn’t even tell you. I do like jeans and nice tops. Not great with T-shirt’s as I hate my arms so I’m usually covered up with a jumper. I’ve been like this even pre baby but now I wouldn’t dare wear a T-shirt which is difficult in the summer. Usually long sleeved tops.
I really like Biden and joules but I find that They age me a bit more. X

Good fitting jeans and a plain white shirt in a soft fabric, roll up the sleeves a bit for a casual look, and yes to good underwear that fits properly.
Plain black trousers always look good too with a flowy casual top in your favourite colour.

Don’t squeeze into 12s... you’ll feel uncomfortable and badly fitting clothes aren’t sexy!! There’s nothing wrong with being a 14 so don’t worry about what you’re not - concentrate on making the best of yourself as you are now because it’s worth doing now even if your plan is to lose some weight.

Start off with some nice basics high you feel good in - Boden might be a good start. Some of it can be a bit frumpy but I think it’s ok at the minute. Good luck!

How about some button-down shirts/blouses to wear with jeans, channeling a French chic vibe? As per pp above, have a few nice ones in your capsule and you’ll feel more put together than in a jersey top.