Very thick hair - End of my tether

[scrappydappydoo]

I have a very upset 15 yr old.
DD and I both have very thick hair that is not curly but has a ‘wave’ in it. Our hair grows out rather than down - not Afro but just thick and ‘mushrooms’. I’ve had my hair very short since I was 7 as I got fed up with it - DD has hers shoulder length. She has just had her haircut and yet again hates it as the hairdresser (and we’ve tried loads) just doesn’t know what to do with it. I say when booking the appointment- she has very thick hair and they reassure me that it’ll be fine but then she sits down and the hairdresser (again not just one - everyone we have visited) always expresses shock at how thick it is - snips a few times,, occasionally uses thinning scissors but ultimately ends up straightening it and it doesn’t look any different after a wash. She is a very self conscious 15 year old with crappy hair and we have no idea how to manage it and neither do hairdressers. My solution of practically cutting it all off doesn’t appeal to her at all.How can I help?

What about one of those keratin treatments that straightens hair for 6 months? Or looking into the curly girl method to encourage its natural wave?

I've got very thick hair, and hair straighteners were the only thing that would make it look good when it was long. It also looks good now I've cut it all off (pixie cut).

My (brilliant) hairdresser has totally revolutionised my very thick hair (of which I also have loads!). I keep my hair long to help pull it down, otherwise it goes ‘out’ and just adds loads of width to my face. But my hairdresser cuts in reverse layers, never uses thinning scissors. I need the weight of long hair to keep it pulled down. And then I use really expensive conditioner to help keep it shiny and smooth. My hair finally looks good. It’s taken 20 years to crack it!

A Dyson hairdryer and decent hair straighteners are the only thing that has tamed my unruly, super wild hair.

When I was younger and couldn't really afford/ be bothered to do too much with my hair, I had an undercut and LOVED IT. I too needed the length to stop mushrooming and I wanted to wear it down.

Ahhh I sympathise my hair sounds the same as yours and DD's. Im from a mixed ethnic background and I know a hairdresser who is from my middle Eastern heritage country who is by far the best at managing and cutting my hair to make the best of it. I've had loads of different lengths and styles with her. She does use thinning scissors sometimes with my permission. Like you OP I mostly just have it short though because it's so much easier and I never really do anything with my hair anyway. If the hair is as a result of a mixed or different ethnic background, a hairdresser or salon with experience of that type of hair is probably your best bet. I also agree that if I have much length, the best styling is to straighten it all so it doesn't balloon out hah but this takes ages with the amount of hair I have so I can count on one hand the number of times I've bothered since DD was born a few years ago. I think ultimately she will get used to it and be thankful for it as she gets older but I appreciate that's no comfort to her right now. I get sooo many compliments about my hair and almost always just about the thickness seeing as usually it's just a big flyaway mane .

Brazilian blow dry and an undercut. Only things that made mine manageable when it was longer.

My hairdresser thins mine out. I don’t know how she does it but it’s made a huge difference.

I've had this problem for years. Previous hair dressers layered my hair with variable success (shortest layer on top) but once it reached beneath my shoulders it would be unbearable again.

I'm not sure what exactly my current hairdresser has done but she's cut it in a relaxed bob type style just below my jaw line which does look lovely properly styled but more importantly when I do my usual thing (wash then leave to dry) the natural wave happens and it almost looks like it's on purpose...crucially un-mushroom like!

She does have a lot of experience with afro hair though so it might be worth having a consultation with a hairdresser that's good at working with thick/afro hair to see what they'd suggest.

Thanks all - yes I think length helps. The reverse layer sounds interesting. We have no ethnic heritage just very annoying thick hair.
it’s just so frustrating trying to find the right hairdresser who does more than just randomly snip at it and exclaim how thick it is but doesn’t seem to cut it to last more than a day or 2 shape wise.

Oh God, the infamous ‘blow dry it straight to cut it’ haircut, which is awesome. Until the next day when you wash your hair.

Most hairdressers are not fit for purpose. They only know how to work with one type of hair, and you don’t have that hair, they force it.

Can you imagine any other profession charging £€$ and getting away with that?

I have very similar hair thick hair and a lot of it, live in rural northern England where all my hairdressers were white.

Then I visited my aunt in London and she took me to her hairdresser (who is from Iran)

The best cut I've ever had, working in London, the hairdresser has had expertise cutting so many different types of hair. She is amazing and literally £20-30 for a cut (which I do always tip), she's in neals yard? Covent guarded, if you are based that way.

The trick I've found is like others keep it longer and reverse layers, a shaggy Bob looks good if I curl wand it, but it just falls after leaving it to dry really nicely.

I very rarely use hair dryers as my arms ache, I have it up a lot for sport, and wash it at least once (sometimes twice) a day as I workout abs my hair is dripping with sweat.

Good shampoos / conditioners:

The Aldi take on Aussie stuff
Frizz be gone (to max has it in huge bottles)
Natural blends by garnier

Grow it long.Have reverse layers.Has taken me until I'm late 40s to find a hairdresser who knew how to cut my hair and lockdown for me to grow it longer than my shoulders.

I know this is no consolation now, but as a thin haired person whose thin hair is getting even thinner in my 40s, I would genuinely love to have this problem.

Also I second the advice about going to an Iraqui or South Asian hairdresser - they are used to thick hair with body to it. I would also say my Indian friends all use oils etc in their hair to tame it.

Can someone please explain how reverse layers are different from regular layers?