Indian wedding guest

[Goostacean]

I need four(!) outfits for my best friend’s wedding this summer. She and her fiancé have Indian heritage so I was wondering whether anyone has advice on what’s in fashion on that “scene” currently (and where to buy online?) please.

I also need one floral maxi dress type of outfit for the henna ceremony, and a “wow” factor Western style gown for the reception! Please help, I don’t know where to start!

Speak to your friend - most Indians I know have saris galore and love sharing them with non Indian friends for weddings etc. Find out which events wearing a sari would be considered appropriate and polite as different families have different ideas for their non Indian guests but in my experience they have been really pleased that most if not all women made the effort to wear traditional dress for the ceremony. We changed into shorter ordinary dresses for the party after the meal (the older guests disappeared at this point and it was more like an English wedding reception) at the last one I attended

Agree, definitely ask your friend. She will probably have some advice for local places to shop as well. Also consider other options apart from saris. I have some beautiful trouser suits, which I find more practical as they are more comfortable to wear and saris are difficult to tie if you don’t know what you’re doing. Most Indians will wear a sari for the wedding but I’m guessing no one will mind if you do something different and certainly won’t be unusual for the other parties. For religious ceremonies (don’t know if there will be any apart from the wedding) you might find a sari is better but only way to be sure is to ask her.

If a full-on evening gown isn't something you'd wear often or again, you could consider renting one for the evening. That should get the bill down a bit

One thing I'd say about saris is that they are fiddly to put on and come off quite easily, when I wore one I spent most of the evening in the cropped top and underskirt. I did love the way it looked on me at the time.
Something like this comes up being suitable www.etsy.com/uk/shop/DesignerLehengaCholi?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=899639196

I have amazing news for you, asos now sell asian wear!! Let me find some links for you

www.asos.com/grp/35430

www.asos.com/grp/35432

www.asos.com/prd/21588346

How cute are those?!

www.asos.com/prd/21589426

I would say that saris are not worn that much by younger women these days, so not sure where to suggest if you want those.

If you're on Instagram check out @aashniandco for inspo, they stock Indian designers only but you can get an idea of what's in style! Also @perniaspopupshop

instagram.com/perniaspopupshop?igshid=4b6xy3z7zafp

Yes it's not all about "saris"

Hopefully you can find something online it generally bright colours are the thing. A traditional bride tends to wear red or a variation such as burgundy or magenta but some will wear traditional white / cream or maybe gold.

You don't have to wear asian clothes for all of it if you don't want but they are generally modestly stressed in terms of not having too much cleavage out or super short skirts and you might need something to cover your head for any religious ceremonies so it's a good idea to have a scarf or shawl.

If you google 'sari shop' you will find loads of online stores that sell saris, suits and anything else you might like.

Find out about the ceremony, it might be in a hotel or in a temple or gurdwara. You need to know the rules of how to sit.

Don't wear black or white.

For my friend's wedding I wore a long dress to the Sangeet, for the henna party I wore jeans as did most people other than the bride who was having her feet and hands done. She was keeping her hands wet with lemon and water - the darker the henna goes indicates whether your mother in law loves you. My skin goes dark brown by the time it is dry.

For the Gurdwara I'd made a pair of baggy trousers with a long jacket, very similar to this pattern www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/295408056781036246/

But I bought the material from an Indian material shop and made a headscarf as well. You will probably need to cover your head at some stage so worth thinking about.

For the evening I had a sari I'd bought in Mauritius a few years before.

If you buy a sari from a shop ask them to show you how to tie it and make sure they sell you the underskirt as well as the - no idea of the propper name- but a piece of material you stich inside the sari - it makes it hang better.

I made my own blouse to go with the sari.

If you go to an Indian material shop you can ask for a recommendation for an Indian tailor.

Have fun both getting the clothes and at the wedding.

One word of warning, beware 'the aunties', these are an almost mafia like collection of older ladies who may or may not be actual relatives.

There purpose in life is to fit as much food into someone as they can, and all the relatives know this so they home in on people who are not of Indian /Pakistani descent and feed you. You you have had breakfast, then lunch and someone made tea and insisted you had samosa with it and now it is 4.30 pm so you must be fed again.

Also, steal the grooms shoes. You will not be suspected.

Before you go to Asos check out the proper places www.nandikasarees.co.uk/collections/lehengas-anarkalis-1

It's Ramadan at the moment so in a couple of weeks there will probably be a post Eid sale.

Sari's are really fiddly, I would avoid that if I were you, its difficult to go to the toilet for example. My sister in law is white and I took her shopping for my wedding. She found Lenghas and Pajami suits the most comfortable (I've attached an example of a pajami suit). An Anarkali dress would also be a good option, it's basically a long ball gown type dress.

Please don't buy from ASOS, many Asian retailers have really struggle this year so please buy from them if you can.

Where do you live? Places like Soho Road in Birmingham have lots of shops in one place with a variety of budgets catered for. Leicester, Southall and Bradford have similar. You can try one see what you like.

Worth noting that if the wedding is in a Gurdwara, whatever you wear there will need to atleast cover to the knee and you will need to cover your head with a scarf of some description. Your friend is likely to have one you can borrow.

Please don't buy ASOS - they have been copping a lot of flack both about the quality of their 'Asian' garments and their sweatshop practices.

Another voice to say avoid ASOS if you can. Personally I wouldn’t do this online at all but try and go to an actual shop. They are usually super helpful and will guide you to sensible choices and have a feel of what is appropriate for each occasion.

Another thing that’s really important with Indian clothes is ridiculously over the top jewellery to finish the outfit. If you don’t wear it you’ll feel very underdressed! If you can manage to get to an Indian shopping area, you’ll be able to pop into a jewellery store with your new clothes and buy bangles and other fake jewellery to match

The Asian wedding I attended was the best I have ever been to. You are going to have a wonderful day.

Wow thanks so much everyone! I’m keen to wear something appropriate but also don’t want to look ridiculous- I’m VERY white, pale as a ghost and blonde, so a lot of the bright colours might look a bit much on me. Need to investigate.

I’m going round to my friend’s in a couple of weeks to try on outfits but obviously would love to get something for myself too. I’ll certainly be covered up and have a scarf just in case.

We’re in NW London so I suspect Southall is my best bet... I just don’t want to get taken for a ride, because I don’t know what I’m doing. Will go with my friend if I do go.

What about shoes??

Comfortable shoes as the days are long! Bold jewel coloured clothing if not a sari, and definitely lots of bangles. You'll have a fabulous time - I'm quite jealous actually!

My sister in law is pale, blond hair, blue eyes (of Dutch and German descent) @Goostacean, she wore turquoise on my wedding and looked stunning.

Definitely try stuff on and see what suits you because you have never worn anything like this before, you might be surprised. Jewellery I would say is down to taste, I've never work anything over the top or elaborate, not even on my wedding day but that's just what in comfortable with so wear what you feel comfortable in as it is a long day. Shoes wise, you want an open-toed evening type shoe. Only wear a big heel if that's something you would normally wear and are comfortable with, otherwise something like a kitten heel or even in the right design, a flat shoe would be fine.

Enjoy your shopping! Most things are labelled with prices but you often barter with them, you should be fine if your friend is with you -she can give you advice in regars to what is the current fashion.

You’ll definitely need guidance from your friend. “Indian heritage” could mean anything. If it’s a Hindu wedding you wouldn’t have to cover up. I have never worn a sari before. I quite like wearing churidars (see attachment).

Definitely go to a local shop - I had a blast shopping for my friend and the prices were really reasonable. I wore a purple and pink trousers suit type thing for her ceremony with a pink scarf - I’m very pale and blonde and it looked awesome.

Also jewellery- get lots! I felt a bit under dressed in comparison to most.

Thanks for the tips! Okay, I’m going to look at open-toed low evening sandals - I used to wear heels a lot but am out of practice and do want to be comfortable especially as parts of the venue are outdoors.

Jewellery... I’m thinking gold bangles? Lots of them!

And make up? I understood from my hairdresser yesterday that the make up tends to be quite heavy?

My friend is Gujurati and Hindu, if that helps.

If you’re in London there are lots of good shopping arenas to try. I’ve had luck in Wembley, Green Street and Tooting before. Also if you’re going shopping remember to plan for lunch. Lots of places to eat good Indian food in each of those areas

Worth noting that if the wedding is in a Gurdwara, whatever you wear there will need to atleast cover to the knee and you will need to cover your head with a scarf of some description.

And you would be sitting on the floor.

OP Southall is a god call. That's where I got my first sari, I was with an Indian friend.

Do not worry about being ripped off, I have found when I buy from Indian shops the staff will bend over backwards to accommodate you. I used to do quite a lot of sewing and bought from Indian shops because the materials are fab, one of the shops the older lady was always smiley and helpful and practiced her English on me.

Also don't worry about pale skin, I have inherited mine from Scottish and Irish ancestors, I find jewel colours work well with pale skin so dark green or navy blue.

If you like the sari look but don't want to be bothered learning to tie one, an Indian tailor will make what is basically a skirt with material attached to make the pallu (the bit that goes over your shoulder).

Also if you’re going shopping remember to plan for lunch. Lots of places to eat good Indian food in each of those areas

OMG so true, even accouple of samosa s with chutney is fab, and I know my samosas.

If your friend is Gujarati and Hindu, the wedding will not be in a Gurdwara and you will not have to cover your head.

If you’re in NW London Wembley and Southall are your best bet - for the experience and atmosphere as well as the clothes and food.

I would suggest avoiding a sari and going for something like the other suggestions on this thread. You can’t really over dress and anyone from a non Asian origin who has dressed in Indian clothes usually looks amazing.