Severely matted hair

[MoragTheTulgahWitch]

Hi all,

I'm at the end of my tether. I've had really poor mental health for a long time which has got a lot worse recently. This has lead to me not taking care of myself very well, and my hair has become extremely matted - it's just past shoulder length and very fine - with the worst bits at my scalp. Lots of small knots bundled into big giant clumps that are so hard I can barely get a comb into them.

I've tried conditioner, oil, dampening hair etc, and loads of different kinds of brushes and combs (I've broken three) and the progress is extremely slow and painful. It just seems insurmountable. I've been at it for two whole days, my scalp is killing me, my arms are killing me, and I can't stop crying.

I know this sounds pathetic, and I know it's my fault. I'm really fat and also quite unattractive so shaving my head isn't an option.

Have any of you managed to deal with something like this? Do you think a hairdresser would come to my house and help me? I'm too embarrassed to even ask.

Please be kind i feel terrible about this 😞

I'm sure you could ask a mobile hairdresser, maybe ask for a recommendation on your local Facebook pages if you're on there? I was going to suggest a pet detangling comb as I dematt cats and they're very good and strong but it is time consuming and knackering and it sounds like you've exhausted yourself. No shame in asking for outside help. Hope you find someone .

Call a few hairdressers. I remember taking my mum to a hairdresser for a similar problem, her hair was so bad that I couldn’t get the comb out of it and didn’t manage to move it at all... it took some time, but they treated it with various things and worked on it over a couple of hours while mum read a book, and it was pretty good when she got home. A little greasy from all the product! They gave her good advice on looking after it afterwards, too.

I don’t know if they’d be able to do the same thing now, this was years ago and well before Covid, so they worked on her between other customers to give her head a break, but they were wonderful.

Well done on getting the motivation together to start working on it, and the confidence to ask for help - go you!!!
I do remember another poster some years back with similar situation, she had great support from some posters and she did get herself to a hairdressers if I recall correctly, phoned them in advance to explain so she didn’t have to do that face to face, and it was great.
So you are not the first!
Also try spreading out the hairs, work from the end upwards, I find dry hair easier to detangle than wet and when there is an intractable knot just cut it, hairdresser can neaten it all up afterwards
Good luch

Depression knots are quite common, and there's no need to feel ashamed. You can look up mobile hairdresser on Facebook and ask them to come help.

Hi everyone, thank you for your kind and helpful replies. I have worked up the courage to contact a mobile hairdresser and explain the situation. I've also picked a short style that I think could work even if she has to cut the knots out.

I can't believe I have let it get to this stage. This is the side of mental illness that really should be discussed more.

Ugh I’ve been there a few times.

It takes lots of patience and achey arms but you'll get there.

When I was 21 my hair had formed lots of dreadlocks through neglect and then finally a sort of dreadlump that I could just get away with by dying black and styling as an Amy winehouse beehive. It was impenetrable so eventually I shaved my head which was very freeing. You can get away with a lot when you’re 21 I suppose.

Sending you lots of luck and love. It will feel so good when it’s sorted.

I'm sure they will help, I would happily do this for someone
Mine gets tangled within a few days so I can imagine how easily it would get bad. You need a conditioner that's very slippery, loads of water and a wide tooth comb or wet brush plus fingers and patience. But if you're exhausted, use the help

When it's detangled, this (you can get it from places like savers or home bargains usually) is a really good slippery conditioner and cheap too
I use it on my hair as it doesn't have silicones
https://www.creightons.com/Mobile/en/Creightons-Micellar-Detox-and-Hydrate-Conditioner-250ml/m-m-1435.aspx

Awww I hope they can sort it for you. However if you do end up with it short, consider a funky colour. I know someone who did this and dyed it bright pink. It looked fab.

Once you get it sorted, but this brush -

kentbrushes.com/collections/airhedz/products/airhedz-narrow-hairbrush-with-large-quill-ah10g

I have long, thick hair which as I have got older has become much thicker and my normal bristle hairbrushes were not getting through to the scalp.

I bought various tangle tweezers and they didn’t penetrate!

This hairbrush has long quills and is very easy to use, and was a godsend when I had a very bad back and brushing my hair was a struggle.

A few strokes with this each day kept my hair from being knotted up!

kentbrushes.com/collections/airhedz/products/airhedz-narrow-hairbrush-with-large-quill-ah10g

Speak to a hairdresser. Definitely. I have had this several times, due to depression but also I suspect it is linked to thyroid issues.

I have always been met with understanding from hairdressers. And the cutting all the split ends makes it so much more manageable.

I have also found the act of being taken care of also really helps my mood.

You won’t be the first person who’s had this, and you won’t be the last.

You’ve been ill, I don’t look after myself when I’m ill it’s just that I have things that last a week & depression isn’t like that. You’re being a bit hard on yourself.

I'm so glad you're getting help with your knots and tangles. You deserve to feel good and have manageable hair.

I'm glad you've spoken to a hairdresser. If this is the first time they have dealt with this I'd be surprised. You will probably end up with much shorter hair so checking out short styles is good. I would suggest asking for a style that looks fine with little styling so if you feel up to it you can wash and dry and use product etc but if you don't you can quickly run a brush through it after its air dried and it will be ok.

I did have this once, but not from depression, I had spent a few weeks in the desert.

I plonked a hair mask in, wrapped cling film around my head and left it there for hours as I watched TV. Eventually I was able to pull a wide toothed comb through.

I recently helped a friend detangle a big matted knot I think 3/4 of her long hair was in the knot. Used wow spray the silver bottle it's not specific for detangling but that's what was available to me and a tangle teeze wet detangling brush. It took a while but little by little free little pieces and work on those. Or if you cant manage it yourself dont be afraid to get help. hope you are feeling a bit better

You’ve done brilliantly for wanting to address it and taking steps by calling the hairdresser. Please don’t feel ashamed. I hope things start looking up for you.

Ah Morag, good

Argh! On you I was going to say... I was going to reread your post to see if you've tried just loads of conditioner on wet hair and using an Afro comb to try to get through it? Even if you did that before the hairdresser. But a new style sounds like a great idea, drawing a line maybe.