I'm fat please help me dress nicely

[flowyglowworm]

I've never been fat before. Now I'm officially overweight since last year.
I am so down about it and trying, but struggling, to lose weight and I no longer fit in anything except my two baggiest jumpers which have basically been on wash every two days as a result. I need to accept the weights not going to come off quickly enough to be able to fit in last years clothes.

So now onto what to wear. Prior to being fat I generally wore tight fitting clothes that hugged my figure and skinny jeans. This cannot happen now as there isn't really much of a figure left or it shows up the muffin top over my jeans.

Can anyone help me. I live in a naice area with a naice school drop off to deal with and the shame of dressing in two jumpers and squeezing into skinny jeans two sizes too tight and never ever washing them because then they'd be too small is humiliating for me.

How tall are you and what is your overall shape?

Dresses are your friends.

I like phase 8's sister brand Studio 8. But that starts from size 16. What size are you?

I think I am about a big size 14 but I don't actually know. The shops are so busy I don't want to go yet because I cba to queue up and be depressed with new bigger clothes.

I ordered some M&S jeans and they are a tight 14 so I may be bigger in some stores.
I am 5'6 and I don't have big boobs or any extras to worry about in that regards.
It's mainly my jelly belly that just chills out over my jeans and anything slightly figure hugging reveals the extent of it but I also worry wearing big baggy clothes might make me look even bigger if that makes any sense

Thete isn't a fat uniform - what looks good depends on your shape, and whether you're a size 8 or a size 28 you still have a distinct body shape which isn't the same as all other women wearing the same clothes size, let alone all "fat" women.

Are you straight up and down? Apple shape (bigger tummy and waist than you'd like but don't carry much extra on your legs/ hips/bum and usually have bigger breasts and fairly wide shoulders), pear shape (smaller breasts, small waist, bigger hips, carry weight on hips and thighs) or an hour glass - waist still small compared to curvey hips amd big breasts?

Different things will suit you depending on your shape, and whether you're a size 26 or (as sounds likely) you're actually just a size 12 - 14 who's squeezing herself into size 8 jeans and feeling shit because obviously clothes in the wrong size make you look amd feel uncomfortable.

Its pretty likely that all you need to do isbuy clothes in the size you actually are without changing your style. The right dize is probably all you need. However if you want ideas give some information beyond saying that you think you're fat.

Cross posted - I thought so. If you're a 14 - 16 with a tummy get yourself some straight leg or bootcut jeans, a few longline vest tops and some nice shirts or jumpers.

Marks and Spencers clothes are cut for pear shaped and hour glass women. Try Next for jeans instead, and Hush for nicer slouchy tops - I like The White Stuff jersey shirts, they're the right length to leave untucked without looking messy, and hide your tummy without being baggy or scruffy.

Thanks yes ok I think I just feel like I've let myself go so much.

I don't really have much of a waist. My thighs are quite big now. I don't have much in the way of boobs ! I'm thinking baggy tops but I find things like baggy T-shirt's so unflattering. And I've gone from generally having quite tight tops to not really knowing how I now cover the muffin top.

I will look at straight leg jeans. The skinny's need to go!

What's your budget flowyglowworm ?

I've splashed out on a few cotton "t shirt" tops (they list them as t shirts but they're more than that imo) from Sezane and I love them so much!

I'm a 16 on top and a 12-14 on the bottom but delighted to be as I was a size 22 (and had dresses up to a 26) last year! I'm top heavy but apple - carry weight on my tummy and despite having lost weight still don't want to draw attention to my waist as it's never been tiny compared to my hips, even back when I was a size 10, 25 years ago!

The tops are only shown tucked in but look at the length listed and measure on yourself - they're perfect untucked on me (5 ft 6, average body and leg length) as they come down a couple of inches below the waist band of my jeans. They're so beautiful!

www.sezane.com/en/collection/t-shirts/t-shirts

I've really found buying clothes I feel good in makes me feel good, and when you feel good about yourself its much easier to feel in control of things including making healthy choices about food and movement. Embrace the body you've got at the moment and ironically once you feel better and feel it'll be a shame to have to ebay your beautiful clothes if they become too big you're more likely to find it easier to lose weight if that's what you want to do .

Good luck.

You won't get a muffin top if you buy jeans that fit. Order a load of jeans from ASOS in different brands and sizes. If you're a 14 in M&S I'd say you were around a 16 or 18 in most other shops.

I've been everything from an 8 to an 18 so I have "fat dressing" down! You need floaty tops even men's shirts are good open with a vest top underneath. Long necklace. Jeans that don't cut in.

Or anything in jersey material is flattering because it glides over What Lies Beneath. Are your arms ok? (Mine never were, lol) If you don't mind showing your arms then your life is much easier - long jersey maxi dresses with bare arms, necklaces, glam sandals, job done.

Men's jumpers are more flattering than women's, too. Try some of your bloke's sweaters on (if you have a man in the house who wears knitwear) and see I'm right.

Wrap dresses are epic too. You might have to pin them closed or wear a vest top underneath if you're Small Of Boob. But they usually hide a multitude of Bad Food Choices.

And Get Thee To Primark. You can kit yourself out for a whole summer for £50 and then focus on getting back into your old clothes again.

I'm a similar size and height but have the added problem of a massive bust. I like Uniqlo skipper collar shirts with a vest or longsleeved Tshirt underneath to give a peek of colour. They sit on the hip bone which is a good length. I tend to pair with cropped trousers either over long boots or bare legs and flats. The non-fussy uniqlo vibe can work quite well on larger ladies.

@ThatOtherPoster
If you're a 14 in M&S I'd say you were around a 16 or 18 in most other shops.

Is that really true? I didn’t realise M&S were so large (though to be fair, I only really get bras from there!). How does somewhere like Next compare?

Sorry, just laughing at "What Lies Beneath". So funny. (Especially as I have been frightened to look, lately.)

I could wear a size 12 stretchy skinny Jean from M&S when I was easily a 16 in every other shop, so I’ve always assumed they’re 1 or 2 sizes kinder than the rest of the high street. I guess it depends on the denim - my size 12 jeans were super skinny and essentially just spandex with a zip.

Daily fail but no real need to discount the article on this specific topic:

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6908531/The-High-Street-clothes-size-lottery-store-best-match-figure.html

it isn't as simple as some shops just vanity sizing - some cut for straight up and down figures, others for hour glass etc etc.

What annoys me is that sizing charts provided by the shops themselves are often off so you can't even go by that for some shops.

ThatOtherPoster those sound like leggings, which obviously stretch up two or three sizes. M&S sizes are generous but not three sizes more generous than all other shops!

This is interesting, nit sure whether it's accurate - ypu put your measurements in and get your size in different shops:

sewport.com/sizing-guide

I'm an ample size 14. I look massive in tips which are baggy all over. I look much slimmer in tunic style tops, which are fitted round the arms, shoulders and bust but flow out over the bumpy bits.

My lower legs are quite slim (unlike my thighs!) so I find leggings flattering plus they help pull in the flabby bits.

Dresses also work well, sometimes styles you'd least expect to be good on the fuller figure are more flattering - eg straight rather than flared

Honestly op you will feel better once you have a few new outfits, you don't have to spend loads.
Posters on this board seem to rate Sainsburys Tu clothes, you just need a few new bits that fit you well.
Size 14 is smaller than the average Brit and lots of people have gained weight in lockdown (me included ) but the great thing about weight gain is that it's not irreversible and it's not the worse thing in the world either

I like smock dresses I think they flatter a lot of shapes. Monki weekday and cos do a lot

This site is quite good to help you figure out what size you might be in different shops.

sizes.darkgreener.com/

[quote PoppityPop]@ThatOtherPoster
If you're a 14 in M&S I'd say you were around a 16 or 18 in most other shops.

Is that really true? I didn’t realise M&S were so large (though to be fair, I only really get bras from there!). How does somewhere like Next compare?[/quote]

Personally I find Next to be on the generous side, more so than M&S in fact, although I don't think there are any shops with consistent sizing .

My pre-lockdown body shape was a size 14-16 with narrow shoulders and weight around my middle, so perhaps similar to you. I used to wear high waist skinny jeans with a heavy jersey top falling at the top of my thighs , or a slightly a line dress,
again skimming my tummy area. I thought both suited me.

Sadly I've put on another stone and dress size in the last year and am stuck in joggers .

Sorry when I said 'similar shape to you' I meant the OP not the poster who's comment I have quoted .

Thanks all I just went out to John Lewis and went crazy as they had sale stuff in store still. Going to sort through it all now as had a total feeling of I can't bear the tracksuit bottoms any longer (I totally can but publicly displaying my current pair could possibly get me ostracised by all, too tight with a hole in?!) . Will take note of brands on here too.

8@flowyglowworm*

Once you have had your own 'fashion show' you must come bak and let us know what you think of your haul!