Tea dresses... so frumpy on me! Why oh why...???

[YoureBreakingMyHeartCecilia]

I love tea dresses.

They do not love me back.

What an I doing wrong? On other people they can look either pretty or classic or even edgy (if styled amazingly by young gorgeous thing)

On me they are Frumparama.

Every year I try one and apparently every year I forget this and back it goes to the shop.

I just tried a gorgeous print one that made me look awful. I don’t know if it was the 40s style puff shoulder or the deep V... I loved it off me and hated on me!

Should I give up and stick to smock/sack dresses that DO suit me? But I just long to float elegantly in a printed tea dress!!

For reference I am mid 40s, a tall size 10 with big shoulders and narrow hips and flat chest.

Is it my shape (too masculine/athletic??) or my age that’s the problem?

Help. (Or just tell me to stick to what I know suits)

It's the sleeves. I took a pair of scissors to the sleeves of one and it looks loads better but now I have to figure out how to hem them

It could be your body shape. I'm an hourglass and they suit me, but I'd love to wear a sack dress and they always look terrible!

Me too.
I can only seem to wear shift dresses. Anything else looks weird.
Tricky when all I can find doesn't suit me!

Sounds like you’d suit something like this

www.johnlewis.com/french-connection-litzy-momo-ditsy-blossom-jersey-dress-indigo-winter-white/p5095271?sku=238702529&size=16&s_ppc=2dx92700055998068987&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIoKLynqLW7wIVmK3tCh0CYwryEAQYDyABEgJRZfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

The sort of tea dresses you mean only suit dainty size 6s

Have you tried a pretty floral skater dress? I am a similar shape to you. Big swimmer shoulders, narrow waist and a flat chest. I can pull of skater dresses though. I live in them in summer.

I’ve just bought this one and I want to show it off because it’s so pretty. Need an occasion other than Friday drinks in the living room ahha.

www.oasis-stores.com/bloom-print-skater-dress/AAA03472.html

I'd love a dress that sits under the knees too- for work.
That seems tricky at the moment.

3/4 length fitted sleeves might help, I've a friend with a similar figure to you and she swears by it. Also a sleeve that stops at the slimmest part of your waist gives the illusion of an hourglass figure. A petticoat (doesn't have to be too extreme) might help give some volume at your hips too.

What do you wear on your feet? I away think this makes a difference. Tea dresses look loads better with chunky boots or trainers rather than heels or ballet flats. (Just my opinion)

I think tea dresses look best when slightly slouchy and loose and I actually prefer how they look on fairly “masculine” figures as they are less likely to look matronly and like 1940s dress-up.

Puff sleeves emphasise broad shoulders though. I have square (though bony, not muscular) shoulders and am wary of very puffed sleeves, especially if they’re very short, as there is is nothing to draw the eye down the arm, so you just look wider. And if the top is overly fitted it’s easy to end up looking like your shoulders are about to burst the seams. If the fit is right it can work but there are more flattering choices.

@Candleabra

What do you wear on your feet? I away think this makes a difference. Tea dresses look loads better with chunky boots or trainers rather than heels or ballet flats. (Just my opinion)

Agreed

Thanks v much everyone!!

I would def wear with trainers so that’s not where the frump factor is coming from...

I agree I’m not the ideal shape, probably. It’s quite right that statement shoulders are a bad look for a person with a swimmer’s build (unless you ARE a swimmer of course!)

Thanks v much for the links! I like the Oasis one but belts are bad on me, in fact anything with a fitted waistline as I have no waist. I think maybe I’m inaccurately imagining that tea dresses aren’t fitted at the waist simply because they’re more bias cut than eg a prom dress (prom dresses are obviously dire on me so I never even try).

I think perhaps I should be trying to get my fix of the prints and colours I love so much about tea dresses on a smock/sack shape instead. I tend to choose very minimalist neutrals in sack dresses as that’s often the default but I might look for something printed .

Hugely appreciate all the advice. Thanks to you all!!

Maybe flower print and the shape of the dress is too much? Perhaps one or the other?
Or just wear what you love and to hell with it!

I don't think shape matters here because it sounds like you have the figure of a model. A different neckline, sleeve length, colour and/or print might help though.

I’ve never got on with them? I do look great in a dress though just not tea dresses.

I think if you’ve got certain more “dramatic” facial features and proportions, then stronger and more geometric cuts suit you better. It’s not a one formula but if you are always looking in mirror and thinking 👎🏽👎🏽 why fight a losing battle?

some women look awesome in the whole Cath kidston look but it’s just them ? If you’re not one of them go forth and enjoy other styles?

I used to fantasise about myself skipping through the summer in floral teadresses and just had load of stuff I didn’t wear or needed to style loads before wearing . Plus a sundress draws creeps.

now I’ve got knee length black denim shorts and oversized black t shirts (kind of summer Cos look) with white walking trainers and I feel a lot better

It's weird with clothes because sometimes they just don't suit you. I am always tempted by nice leather jackets (thinking they'd be extremely versatile and de-frump lots of outfits - including tea dresses!). They just look ridiculous on me.
I had my colours done years ago (House of Colour) and there was a companion style day that I was tempted by (but thought that might be taking the 'science' a bit far). I wonder if there's something in it though.

It's the shape. I am the same shape as you- quite tall with big wide swimmer's shoulders (I'm a shit swimmer, dammit) and if I try on a pretty tea dress I look like Grayson Perry as Claire.

Same shape. I think a lot of it is to do with the print. A ditsy / busy print just makes it look like there is more of you, which is shit if you’re broad shouldered and or tall. Whereas an outsize or bolder print looks great on us but ridiculous on someone more petite. Where to find them 🤷‍♀️

OP, if you want to look into the whole ‘body shape’ thing, look up Kibbe body types.

You do a quiz (there are heaps online) about your body dimensions and get a ‘type’ - classic, gamine, dramatic, etc. You then use this info for styling tips on what to look for and what to avoid.

I did it and it helped me understand why the Swedish Architect look will never suit me, no matter how much I want it to

I think it might be your shape too. I am a short, curvy hourglass and tea dresses look great on me. They hug my curves in all the right places and are really flattering. The sort of loose, smock dresses you like, look absolutely terrible on me. They make me look huge and matronly. Embrace the styles that suit you and forget about other shapes. We can’t all suit everything and I bet you look amazing in the dresses that you do wear.

I can't wear florals, they instantly age me. Put me in tie dye and floaty I look a bit boho and free spirited ( not as naff as it sounds! ) put me in florals and I become Ma Larkin from Darling Buds of May.

'Ma Larkin from 'Darling Buds of May'' made me laugh! Thank you!!

love these dresses suggested 💕