I feel hideous

[MadameKali]

Bit of a back story here. I've never felt particularly confident in my appearance even when I was younger. Looking back, I was actually very pretty but these days I just feel like a mess.

In my early twenties I developed acne - not horrendous, but bad enough to leave me very self conscious about it. After having my first child 16 years ago, it got worse and involved many trips to the GP with loads of different prescriptions (topical & various contraceptives)

After about 10 years of humiliating myself by sobbing to the GP, I got a determatologist appointment and was prescribed Dianette. What a transformation my skin was lovely (for me).

I've since piled weight on and my blood pressure has gone up so the GP will no longer prescribe the Dianette but has given me a POP because of my age.

For the last three months my skin has just become an oil slick. My hair needs to be washed every single day, so any colour I put on is just stripped out. The condition is crap, loads of shampoos that are for coloured or curly hair contain Argan oil which breaks my scalp out in painful lumps.

I'm sick of spending money on products that just make me look awful, despite their miracle claims and 5star reviews.

I haven't had a photo taken off me in over ten years because I can't bear to look at them. Being on constant video calls where I'm forced to look at my own face makes me want to weep. Everybody else seems to look lovely and I'm this big fat greasy mess. It's eroding every last bit of confidence I have.

With everything that's going on in the world it feels like such self indulgence to voice all this stuff in real life but I need to get it out. I just want to not feel ugly.

Does anybody have any recommendations to deal with an oil slick? I keep trying to tell myself that the grease will prevent wrinkles forming but my brain knows that's not true

So sorry you are feeling this way op .

Is the POP for contraception or for your skin? Because if it's for your skin, it clearly isn't working and I would want to try something else.

Aside from that, I've found niacinamide works when my skin is oily. You can get it from The Ordinary.

You could maybe bleach your hair blonde as I have found this dried the crap out of mine! But probably not a good thing tbh.

It's true about the bleach making your hair less greasy it really does.

That's really interesting about Argan oil as my scalp breaks out also as does dd1. If we abstain from conditioner they clear up.

We are alternating head and shoulders and L'Oréal clay shampoo with some success. You need to shampoo twice with h and s tjough.

Have you tried the Oil Cleansing Method? Have a google. I found it quite helpful for my oily skin

You need to go back to dermatology if the acne is back.

POP is not good for acne prone skin (ask me how I know!). Put any thoughts that this is something you can manage at home to bed & go back to the drs. You’ve given it three months, at 6 months I had full on cystic acne. Do you need contraception? Would a coil work better?.

Oily skin from the POP is nothing like normal oily skin.

Try some Faith in Nature shampoo (the Lavender and Geranium is gorgeous for dry hair) and either no conditioner or a tiny bit on the ends.
People with oily skin are often way too harsh in their cleansing - I found very gentle, respectful treatment calmed my oil production right down. Oil cleansing is worth a try.

I’m the same as you OP, if I don’t take the combined pill (started on dianette at 18 and been through various different rules since, femodette, marvelon, currently gederel) my hair and skin are so greasy and I get horrendous acne. It’s shite, I’m way to old for this! After a few years TTC/pregnancy/breastfeeding I’m so glad to be back on it again but I did find that spearmint tea helps, not massively but takes the edge off the oiliness. I read about it somewhere online and buy from Amazon as couldn’t find it in the shops.

I also use gentle cleansers (any designed for acne are too harsh) and niacinamide.

@NoMoreZigAndSharko @Fluffycloudland77 @bananamonkey I should have said, my acne is fine (except for a bit on my chest). It's the never ending grease that makes me feel shit. I feel like people think I don't wash.

@justchecking1I really worry about trying it (I have read it's good) as oil in products seems to cause painful swelling, particularly round my jawline. Just wish there was some way to control the production of oil. I've tried primers but it's like sealing the grease in and causes outbreaks. Might as well wrap my head in cling film.

Thanks for your responses.

Have you heard of Spironolactone? I had to come off Dianette as I have migraines with aura. I asked for Spironolactone instead and was referred to a derm on the NHS. I did have to request it as they weren't really prescribing it for acne much at that time (10+ years ago) but for me it has the same effect on skin as Dianette does.

Progesterone makes your skin pump out oil, and causes water retention.

If you could lose weight your blood pressure is quite likely to fall and the gp has less reason to not prescribe dianette then.

I’ve got massively oily skin and hair, it’s really annoying. After Dianette, both Yasmin and Marvelon were a big help.

Skin wise, I agree no harsh cleansers, also niacinamide is specifically recommended for oily skin. I use Dermatica these days which seems to help but it’s a long game.My face usually looks very shiny, I tell myself it’s a glow and a dusty dry face is no better.

Hair wise, since I also have dandruff, I use the Silicone free Head and Shoulders which is more gentle, often do a second wash (with a colour enhancing shampoo) and only condition the ends. It’s only in my mid forties I’ve been able to move to every other day washing although it’s pretty oily by mid way through day 2. It changes colour to be way darker. Some would say this is over washing and stimulating oil but I don’t think they realise what having really greasy hair is truly like, it won’t sort itself out by just leaving it, it gets totally disgusting.

I agree bleach helps once the hairdressers reopen.

@stealingbeauty

Have you heard of Spironolactone? I had to come off Dianette as I have migraines with aura. I asked for Spironolactone instead and was referred to a derm on the NHS. I did have to request it as they weren't really prescribing it for acne much at that time (10+ years ago) but for me it has the same effect on skin as Dianette does.

Second this - spironolactone plus lymecycline the only thing that has worked long term for me.

Sorry you are feeling so low. Have you tried naturtint hair products. I have stress induced psoriasis around my hairline and these products really do their job without irritating it. www.naturtint.co.uk/product-category/aftercare-styling/

Firstly

Secondly I found these things seemed to work for my acne, to the extent it's pretty much disappeared

• gentle, non foaming cleanser
• no moisturiser- my skin doesn't need it. I use a lightweight hydrating serum instead (Superdrug simply pure about £4) then sunscreen (ultrasun)
• no face powder, use oil blotting sheets instead
• SLS free shampoo and toothpaste
• clean pillowcase every 1-2 days
• tie up long hair at night so your face isn't resting on it
• retinol at night, v thin layer of benzoyl peroxide in the morning

Hope this helps!

I don't want to belittle how you are feeling @MadameKali , but do try not to think those little computer windows , if you are doing lots of video calls , is what you actually look like. I will never stop traffic with my jaw dropping beauty , but I have never knowing scared a horse. But those zoom things I just don't recognise myself.

Sounds like lots of good advice here , but just to say , I bet you look to others better than you think you do

Aww, you lot are lovely. I normally don't visit S&B having neither of those qualities!

I think yesterday I was feeling particularly crappy having spent literally all day on Zoom calls. For those of us who hate having our photos taken, video calls are hell! Another reason to hate lockdown!

I will be taking all your advice on board. I suspect this could get expensive...

Zoom calls are the work of the devil in terms of body confidence/general confidence imo! Apparently there has been a huge surge in demand for cosmetic surgery since this all started. They are SO unflattering. I'm no stunner, but I am absolutely not the horror show I see in Zoom calls in normal life...I hope

Did you know you can turn off the self view in zoom so other people can see you but you can't see yourself? There's also an airbrush feature too, I was so glad when someone told me - they're in the settings menu

"Looking back, I was actually very pretty but these days I just feel like a mess."

We just keep repeating this same mistake. You'll look back in 20 years time, see how pretty you are now and regret that you couldn't see it at the time. Try to remember that, when you find yourself dwelling on the negative points

@MoltonSilver How very very wise