Toddler curly hair help!

[Streats]

My 3yo DD has the most unruly curly hair. It’s quite short - I could just about get bunches in it but it wouldn’t all go in and she would rip it out anyway. It’s so curly right up to the root. Sometimes it manages to look like beautiful ringlets but after half an hour of her playing it is back to being a mess again. I’ll take her to the hairdresser when allowed but does anyone have any tips? She looks like I just haven’t even bothered trying to get it brushed! I usually wash and condition and then add in a curl spray and brush through while wet. On days I don’t wash it (she has eczema so I try not to do it every day) I brush through and add curl spray and try to scrunch it a bit but some ends up straight. Some ends up fuzzy and the odd perfect curl is lurking in there somewhere. Any tips?!

Hello
I could be your DD - curly hair, eczema, straight haired mum!

Only ever brush her hair when it is wet, abs use a wide tooth comb or brush when you do. Don’t wash it every day - this will help the curl, and in my case the eczema. Minimise products, nothing beats a few days of natural grease (naturally curly hair has a tendency to dryness and rarely needs washing daily). Review your definition of neat hair. Google “curly girl method”.

Sounds like DS’ hair! I’ve not quite worked out the best method for him yet. Curly girl didn’t really do it for us.

Sounds like my son, he is 3 too, and has ringlets. My eldest was the same actually. Anyway.

Tangle teaser on the individual knots, to be honest I only do this on nursery days! He gets them in specific places where he sleeps, i.e. ringlets right at the bottom don't get tangled. Hold the lock of hair with some slack to the root and detangle with tangle teaser. This stops you pulling and making child scream.

I rarely wash his hair, only if visibly dirty, and then only with conditioner. I use this opportunity to give a proper, thorough brush!

That's about it. Use water to define curls if I've made it frizzy during brushing.

I was the same as a child and everyone else in my family had straight hair. My mum got so fed up of me crying that she chopped my ringlets off and it grew back poker straight. DS has just had his first trim this weekend, I daren't cut much off!

Same here! DD's hair looks like a birds nest no matter what I do! The advice I read was the only comb when wet, don't rub with a towel and instead use a cotton t-shirt to soak up the moisture afterwards, and apply curling cream or spray if needed.

To be honest the only thing that really made a difference was getting it cut. She's 2.5 and we've managed to squeeze in 2 haircuts between lockdowns. The hairdresser just trimmed it but it somehow made a huge difference and didn't look so tangled. I was also a bit worried about the curls going away but I think hers are here to stay.

I also made peace with the face that she's a toddler so nobody is going to judge her for having crazy hair, especially during a pandemic .

Thanks everyone! I do love her scruffy wild look myself but sometimes I worry people will think I’m just not caring for her properly. I also have curly hair myself but have never ever managed to make it look nice so I’ve resorted to wearing it long and straightening it.

I usually wash every other day so I’ll try giving it a few days in between washes. The problem is that I have to slather her in a greasy ointment at night on her body and hands and she often touches her hair and gets it all greasy.

My 4yr is super curly,as am I .very important no.1 rule is NEVER brush/comb/tangletease dry. No excuses.

Yep, don't brush it dry. It hurts apart from anything else!

Im a curly-haired daughter of a straight-haired mum, and I would also say please don't make too much of an issue of it. My mum would always go on about how difficult and messy my hair was which gave me a real complex about it. I'm sure you don't, but just wanted to add that in!

@Zarinea

Yep, don't brush it dry. It hurts apart from anything else!

Im a curly-haired daughter of a straight-haired mum, and I would also say please don't make too much of an issue of it. My mum would always go on about how difficult and messy my hair was which gave me a real complex about it. I'm sure you don't, but just wanted to add that in!

I couldn’t agree more!

I’m 50, and I remember very clearly being 17 and my mum saying “The problem with you Bike, is you’ll never look smart or tidy with your hair”.

Don’t worry, I was a curly haired child with a complex about it! I know what not to say to her.

I know you said no excuses @fizzpopbang but when she wakes up tomorrow with super knotty hair, what am I supposed to do?

wide toothed comb, don't use tangle teasers yet.
Try those material type scrunchies rather than just elastic type.
Comb from the bottom not straight down, don't add products she's too young.
Mine is very curly and was so painful as a child. My dad had more patience but mum nearly ripped it out.

Have you tried braiding it before she goes to sleep?

When she wakes in the morning get a spray bottle, fill it with warm water and mix in some leave in conditioner - not too much. I like mixed chicks as it's thin so mixes well. Then you will take her hair section by section, spray it and squeeze the water into that section so the hair is quite saturated, then comb it with either a wide toothed comb or a rectangle tangle teezer (it only has about 4 rows). If you want to define the curl you can use your finger and take even smaller sections and twiddle the hair down from root to end.

We are a curly family . Conditioner is your friend. I went my sons hair every night in the shower. No shampoo. I tease out all the knots with my fingers when wet. Dry with t shirt and apply reasonable blob of normal hair conditioner. Off to bed he goes. In the morning it spray down with water, tease out any knots with fingers , add another pea sized blob of conditioner and work it through. By the time he leaves for school he has lovely ringlets. I trim his hair myself and never let a hairdresser near it . I do the same for my own hair and I also trim it myself. Conditioner is your friend and it's supposed to be left it! It only gets rinsed out in the evening and reapplied straightaway.