Any advice for making peace with my blobby nose

[LetTheBirdsSing]

I am feeling really down about my looks generally at the moment (I’ve had a couple of kids in the last few years and have put on weight, I have some raised moles on my face that seem to be getting bigger and I find them really ugly). I’ve always hated my nose and tonight I’m feeling particularly ugly. It’s on the large side with a bit of a bump (less bothered about the bump) but with a round, bulbous tip. I find the size and shape really ugly.

I can’t see myself having surgery. The main reason being that if my children end up inheriting my nose, what if they hate it too? I can’t sit there telling them that they are gorgeous including their nose if I’ve had surgery to change that same nose. I feel like by having surgery I’d essentially be telling them that their nose was ugly too and I never want them to feel anything less than perfect- unrealistic, I know!

It’s also hugely expensive, recovery sounds like it could take a while and what if it goes wrong? Doesn’t look right on my face? I look at Georgia Kousoulou and actually think she looked really lovely prior to having her nose job, it really suited her face. Her new nose, seems like a perfectly fine nose objectively but somehow doesn’t look right on her face to me...I hope that doesn’t sound mean, I’m just trying to explain that I worry that I’d be more unhappy with the ‘new’ nose.

So I feel that the answer is to try to make peace with the nose that I already have. But how do you try to convince yourself that something you think is very ugly, isn’t?

Have you tried a bit of light shading and highlighting?

Also mostly the things we fixate on are barely noticeable to others.
CBT can help

I think maybe focus on some things you can do. You could try and get a bit healthier and lose a bit of weight which will increase your confidence. And maybe look into what you could do about the moles, there may be a way to get them removed, obviously you might have to spend some money there but might help you feel a bit less self conscious generally? Sorry you're feeling this way OP

I've always hated my nose too, especially if I see It from the side in a dressing room mirror or a photo but I suppose I'm just not used to seeing it from that angle. My sister hates hers too & would tell me not to put a photo of her on Instagram if you could see her nose from the side but I always say but that's what you look like, that's what people see when they look at you from the side. I always think of Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing & how pretty she looked in that but how different she looked after having her nose job (still pretty but looks totally different). I wouldn't look like me if I got a nose job so I'm just going to accept it for what it is. There are ways to contour to make your nose look different 🙂

Sounds like my nose OP 😆 and I love my nose. Remember people don’t critique you feature by feature, it’s the whole impression of the face that counts - your nose probably looks a lot better on your face than one of the little pencil noses.

If you’re really down about it, just buy a highlighting stick and learn how to apply it via YouTube. That stuff works wonders.

I have never liked my nose, but I’ve had it a long time and it’s never done me any harm.
I try to counterbalance it by making my eyes look attractive.

Honestly? I had a rhinoplasty and it was the best thing I have ever done.

Life is too short to be unhappy, or to spend it trying to convince yourself that you are happy.

Our DC are both boys, so I anticipate it being less of an issue, but if they ever wanted to have similar surgery, I would cover the cost.

Firstly, I think it's highly unlikely that your nose is very ugly. Can you think of anyone else that has a feature that you would describe as very ugly? It's pretty rare, if it even exists.

Secondly, you are dwelling on all the things you feel you can't do and why you can't do them. You can actually do anything you want. You can change how you look if you want to but it takes effort. Of all the things you mentioned, the nose is the hardest thing to change. Try sorting the moles first. That's an easy one.

Thanks for all of your thoughts. @Wondermule that’s so lovely to hear that you love your nose! I envy your confidence. Have you always liked it?

Contouring, interesting. I feel like I’d just make the sides of my nose look dirty

@MoltonSilver that’s very true- I don’t judge other peoples like I do my own. I might notice someone having a big nose, but it would be more like “see? They have a big nose and you don’t find them unattractive. Big noses are fine” it’s not just the size of mine though, it’s the shape. I’d say it looks a little like Heather Thomson’s (Real Housewives of New York).

I’m seriously thinking of getting the moles removed. I’ve had one done and it was fine and healed quite well.

@GreenWillow I’m really pleased that surgery worked out well for you. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t do it for the reasons I mentioned. Also, there are other things I don’t like about my appearance (looks down at C section overhang) so my worry is that I’d get my nose done, maybe not be that happy with it and then find something else to fixate on