Help - clothes rut

[Ohtheplacesyougo]

Good morning! I’m in desperate need of some new clothes. I’m looking scruffy!!

I have always been really cautious of buying clothes. Although, I do have nice outfits - think Jigsaw, Hobbs, Marc Cain, RL and for leisure wear Jigsaw, crew and Levi’s (jeans). Keep it fairly low key and avoid fashion so they last sometime.

Well anyway, I am becoming tight! I made a list of everything I need but I’m really nervous about buying online - literally unable to buy anything!!! Which is nuts as have the cash (Am saving +60-70 per cent of my income). I’d understand if I had no money but I do. Weirdly, I’m not worried about paying money to other people for jobs done (and a good rate), paying for refurbishments etc but just unable to spend on me. I don’t really get why but is annoying me. What should I do. Ever faced this?

Have you got the Stylebook app? It’s not a free app but fantastic for being able to glance at your own wardrobe and put outfits together. It might help you to mix and match your existing outfit and discover ‘new’ outfits?

So is your issue that you want clothes advice or advice on how to allow yourself to spend money on frivolous stuff? Fwiw I don't see clothes as frivolous

Point number 2! Thank you
Style App sounds great - thank you!

I can't bear to pay the price for new clothes either, OP. I think it's because I know that so much of the price isn't in the actual value of the clothes; it's in the staff costs, advertising, profit margin, etc. Buying from proper shops just seems like a massive waste of money.

I get a lot of stuff on Ebay. There is a lot of brand new stuff on there, if you don't like the idea of wearing secondhand.

Is it just clothes or spending on yourself more generally (would you treat yourself to a book/coffee and cake/nice moisturiser)?

Would donating or selling some pieces you no longer wear help? I try to do this before buying new clothes.

Hi there, no it’s anything for me. It’s weird if I’m honest. I’m happy to pay for PT sessions but everything else I get very nervous about. I don’t get why. I donate everything away - we have renamed the spare room the ‘charity shop room’. Weirdly I’ve bought my friend a candle yesterday but I’d be nervous buying for me (and home decor) (not structural work). It’s odd and frustrating. It’s like I’m worried I’ll get addicted to buying online (like gambling - which I don’t have an issue with and have never gambled online anyway!!)

Sadly I don’t have this problem. Kind of wish I did sometimes...

@Ohtheplacesyougo I can understand that to a certain extent. I was brought up in a very poor home and have been hideously broke during my adult life and it took a while to get rid of the mentality that I couldn't spend on myself. I used to save up and buy maybe one or two really well,considered things a year. But since kids are independent and we have had no mortgage I seem to have developed the opposite problem in that I am buying far too much stuff in impulse. It's emotional buying I know but I need to stop.

Might I suggest you start small? Buy yourself a candle or a nice body wash. And build up gradually

Thanks @Sooverthemill that’s helpful.
Yes, when I was younger I was desperate to save up for a house. I have a lovely home now but I still have at the back of my mind - what if - what if. But completely irrational. I need to dress for work smartly and I want to at home too!

Do you know maybe I should just leave until shops reopen? I’m better in store when have someone persuading me .

I think there’s just so much online and overwhelming, and then I think if I buy one thing I’ll buy them all... but I do need some pants and socks - maybe buy those online!?

With your shopping my Mum loved clothes - literally went to Russell & Bromley and Jigsaw constantly (she could afford it) but I have noticed she doesn’t anymore now retired. I think you’ll change as circumstances change. She’s still goes to good stores but cut her cloth to fit, if makes sense. She still can afford it but she will re-wear more than a couple of times!! I hope you find a happy medium.

As a student and in a graduate role, I used to find her shopping quite obscene if I’m honest. And I’d have to follow her around the stores like a sheep. Occasionally she’d buy me stuff but not much (and much cheaper) and when I went to work and moved to London - I had no money and I kind of resented that. She didn’t even set me up with a Next suit for interviews, but would have just been one less top in a weekend trip. This is all sounding a bit deep - maybe I am emotionally destroyed with clothes.... could be worse, I suppose!!

I spend a lot on PTing and I gradually had one less a week and now just having one a week. Maybe give yourself an allowance (not too mean) and just cut back slowly. Say 5% a month. Or cut spending for Lent? Give a percentage to charity and maybe will help? maybe as have had little before, you may be being hard on yourself?

Clothes are an essential item, not just for fun. It's great if you don't need anything new, but if you're starting to wear things out or are feeling a bit scruffy, you do need to buy some bits. Buy one item which will do for smart and casual, like a shirt or a jacket or really good ballet flats or similar. There is a good thread on here somewhere where a woman decided to save and buy a lot less and had a list of things which she knew she would wear and bought really good quality versions.

It depends on how you look at it; I spend on clothes, every month, but earn enough to afford it, always put money away, and have no expensive hobbies; all bills etc are covered. So I see it as a kind of hobby or interest, in a way.

Yes, I feel the same, although I'm having a shopping hiatus over lent and maybe beyond.

But, if this isn't too wanky a term (it is ), cultivating my wardrobe is my hobby. I'm sure people spend similar to what I do on clothes, on other hobbies, like crafting or wine etc. If I was into home interiors and decorating, I could be spending a small fortune on that. And, unless your house is falling down, there is no need to decorate your home all the time. But people do.

Sorry I feel the same as you Troy, I mean.

BallstoyouSue agreed - you give home interiors as an example of the way people spend - another example is keeping horses, which is popular in my neck of the woods.

Well today I spent a lot of money online on some clothes. I basically went to John Lewis, Jigsaw and Sweaty Betty and spent ££££ - feeling guilty but saw it as if in a shop going to various departments. Quite aghast at my bill - less than £1k but more than £750 but was needed.