It took me the best part of a year to work out which bar shampoo and conditioner combination suited my hair best. I can see why people give up! A friend had warned me it can take a while and that's the only reason I persevered.
I only tried them because my hair had fallen out and then gone to shit after having babies and I got desperate after trying everything else. Think that probably helped in the long run as my hair felt shit already so I wasn't bothered about the transition or trying out different ones.
Anyway I'm a couple of years down the line now and my hair has never felt better. It's soft, shiny, feels clean and I can't go back (I tried a normal shampoo recently as a one off, can't remember why, and it made my hair feel completely rank, so I actually can't go back!)
My staples are now...
A shampoo bar called Shine On off Amazon - bit of a granny soap smell but my conditioner hides that
Ethique conditioner bar called Guardian (for dry hair) I don't have especially dry hair but have found this one works best for me
Coconut oil hair mask once a week (don't always manage that often but that's what I aim for) - just normal coconut oil you would use to cook with. Scoop it out with a spoon, melt it in your hands, then rub it onto dry hair and leave it as long as you can. I leave mine all day at the moment as I'm not really going anywhere or seeing anyone! Takes a few washes to get it out.
Also... I've gone from needing to wash my hair every other day to washing it once or twice a week. So that has probably helped with the condition - not styling it as often.