Modern weddings leave me all confused - old fogey emoticon needed here

[RosaTransylvania]

So I have just got a wedding invite for a winter wedding which is in a stately home type place so ceremony which is early afternoon will presumably flow seamlessly into reception without the necessity of going outdoors in between. I imagine will turn into disco type thing later.
There is no dress code specified. What does one wear? I will have to make a special expedition to a big town with proper shops for this so it needs planning.
I am 43, size 12, hourglass shape (thanks Trinny and Susannah!), big norks, would like to look my best as I don't get out much. Please help me, stylish ladeez.

prom dress or similar

Prom dress Mrs B? I am 43, y'know. Will I not look a bit mutton?

But on the other hand I don't want to look frumpy.

this kind of thing.

How about a nice dress under a smart 3/4 length coat or jacket? You could always take a change of shoes and have boots for the first half and evening shoes for later...

I would probably try Monsoon or Hobbs or somewhere similar for ideas - or how about one of those nice department stores where they have loads of little boutiques? You could always get some inspiration from the nice personal shopping people!!

Disclaimer: I have no idea whether it suits your shape but that's a wedding-guest kind of dress. Add a pashmina/jacket for the chilly outdoors bit.

Oh yes - just what I meant - like that dress, possibly with a jacket like this

Gorgeous colour and prom dresses arent that bad

That is lovely NBG. Am not sure about exposing my upper arms though.

What does anyone think of this one

or this one

or omg this one

love the middle one

I went to a similar one last month a wore a light wool 60's type dress and a pashmina and big glossy handbag- my shoes were killer- I looked fab apparently, I should have been a little niffed that dh said in such an amazed way.

Rosa, I think the first of the 3 would be better for you.
The second seems quite restricting in the fabric and nork department and I get a vision of your boobs being squashed IYSWIM.
The third one I dont think has enough flair from the hips and looks a bit more fitted.
I can see why you like it though.

As for exposing your upper arms, theres loads of shrugs, pashminas and little jackets about at the minute so you wont be stuck for ideas.

Just thinking Wallis has a sale atm.

Something like this, say if you teamed it up with the dress I linked and then get gold shoes/sandals and gold clutch bag.

Prom dress a bad idea I think!! Simple but stylish dress in nice fabric with co-ordinating jacket or pashmina. Some dramatic jewellry and good make up! I always reckon that if you wear someting simple but immaculate you can't look over or under dressed