Thin people who gained weight

[AbstractDot]

Do you think these people are generally more confident in there bodies? If so, why?

I was a chubby child, lost weight in teen years then gained again during pregnancies, with losses in between making me 'slim'. Weight and how I look is always on my mind. I'm not my heaviest but not near my slimmest either.

I have meetings next week (Covid safe work stuff) where I will see people in person and meet some people in real life for the first time. On zooms and photos I use every trick in the book to look slimmer.

Every outfit I can think of just shows off something I want to hide - back fat even from my well fitted rugby and pellers bra(much better than it used to be), my fat arms and my horrible mum overhang. I will be moving around a lot so bug jumpers aren't an option.

Then I just think, dress stylishly and own it. But style on a slim person to me is a tucked in top into high waisted jeans, I just look like a minion when I do that

I've lost significant weight over the last year but recently saw videos of myself and I'm not really looking anywhere near something I can be happy with yet.

Then I see other women who own it and look great. I don't even know what my point is!

If anything I would think it would be the opposite. If you've always been slim and happy with your body, putting on weight would make you lose confidence in your body, because it wouldn't feel like 'you'.

I think it’s just about proportions rather than either thin or fat - a larger hourglass figure woman will look amazing - I think it’s all to do with how flat the tummy area is - if that’s flat, then the woman looks good.
I’m “thin” but have a protruding tummy area which I’m self conscious about - I feel like it limits my clothes choices even though I’m size 6-8.

I’ve been slim all my life but wouldn’t say I’m particularly happy with how I look. We all have things we aren’t happy with, I think it’s more about learning to love yourself - cheesy, difficult but true.

I would say, go floaty. And stop being so tough on yourself 💐

You are being very hard on yourself @AbstractDot. You nailed it when you said dress stylishly and own it. Remember you are there on your merit as an employee. Everyone else will be just as nervous meeting people for the first time. You say you will be meeting only some for the first time - can you meet up on the way in with people you already know? That way you can arrive together and it will be less stressful. I am sure you will own it 😃👍

Speaking as a thin person who has gained a lot of weight, I think it is about body type.

If you have narrow shoulders and hips like me then the weight is prominent on your tummy and stomach.

If you are more pear shaped then you have the benefit generally of flatter stomach and breasts, the weight is spread more evenly, and I think clothes look better on that sort of figure.

Forgot to say well down on your weight loss. It takes a while for your "eye" to catch up with your new shape. When everything gets back to normal, don't be afraid of trying on different styles and shapes that you would have previously rejected. Hope next week goes well for you

I think being an overweight child is really significant. Particularly if you grew up pre 90s before it became less acceptable to bully overweight people.
There was so much negativity towards overweight children when I was growing up, from peers, and also from adults, such as teachers, who felt free to insult, bully and name call.
If you were the ,'fat kid', and it was much rarer then, that was your identity and the most significant thing about you.
These early experiences can have a lifelong impact, with formerly overweight children always viewing themselves as a fat person who is temporarily slim, and being hyper aware, and critical, of their adult bodies as a result.
I think that back then, when slim was the norm for children, it probably wouldn't register with a slim child that they were slim, they were just 'normal'. So weight maybe wouldn't be so much part of their adult identity.

@DietrichandDiMaggio

If anything I would think it would be the opposite. If you've always been slim and happy with your body, putting on weight would make you lose confidence in your body, because it wouldn't feel like 'you'.

Yes, this is me at the moment. Always slim, but in the last year and a half I have put on about 2 stone. I hate it and don't feel like me at all.

@5128gap

I think being an overweight child is really significant. Particularly if you grew up pre 90s before it became less acceptable to bully overweight people. There was so much negativity towards overweight children when I was growing up, from peers, and also from adults, such as teachers, who felt free to insult, bully and name call. If you were the ,'fat kid', and it was much rarer then, that was your identity and the most significant thing about you. These early experiences can have a lifelong impact, with formerly overweight children always viewing themselves as a fat person who is temporarily slim, and being hyper aware, and critical, of their adult bodies as a result. I think that back then, when slim was the norm for children, it probably wouldn't register with a slim child that they were slim, they were just 'normal'. So weight maybe wouldn't be so much part of their adult identity.

This! I was a fat child in the 70’s. Although I lost weight in high school and have been slim ever since still feel that I look bad. All that torment and ridicule has stuck with me.

I used to be slim and have put on weight and feel absolutely dreadful about myself. Not like myself at all. Nothing fits and I’m not buying anything nice new because I just don’t know how to dress this horrid shape, and nor do I want to.

Phew. That was a bit of a rant.

I was very slim until 2nd yr uni, when I gained a couple of stone. Lost it after I graduated when I worked as a cleaner and waitress. Then was mostly pretty slim in my 20s and early 30s, although I didnt feel it at the time. Had the odd year where I gained but always lost pretty easily. Basically from 18-28 was usually between 8st7 and 9st, with the odd 10st blip. Then crept up to around 9st 7 -10ishst for most of my 30s. Now in early 40s, and since around 39 my weight has been creeping up - I'm over 11st. I hate it. Basically I feel self conscious about my weight 100% of the time. I feel like I am a slim person who has let themselves go. I don't own it in any way.

My weight has yo-yo'd a fair bit in my adult life and I have been a size 6 at my slimmest and a 16 at my heaviest. I've lost about 3 stone over the last 12 months and am currently a 10 or 12 depending on brand, but I have only just had the nerve to start buying more fitted clothes again. I have spent the last few years wearing sacks really. With hindsight I think my efforts to hide my weight actually made me look worse. When I think of friends who are a similar size or bigger, the ones who look great tend to wear more fitted clothes. I'm not suggesting a tiny bodycon dress or anything, but I think clothes that swamp you actually accentuate the bits that you are trying to hide as much as clothes that are too small. I never really had that much confidence, but I think that a smart tailored suit or dress makes people look slimmer than baggy clothes.
And remember it isn't just body shape that makes someone look good - hair, make up, accessories all combine to how someone is viewed. But basically I think if are dressed smartly and smile people will tend to react positively to you in a professional setting.
I hope it goes well for you.

I was a rake my entire life until I had ds! After dd I snapped back to a size 6 within a week, but ds is now 4 and the weight is still here.

I'm tall so can carry the extra weight (14 kilos!) and still have a BMI of 24. I was underweight my entire life even though I ate like a horse. Now the weight won't shift for love nor money. I can ignore it most of the time as I go nowhere and see no one atm. The thought of getting naked in front of someone feels me with dread though,

9 stone in 2017, now 12 stone in 2021. not bmi overweight but about 4 pounds off that. i do not feel confident - even less than i did at 9 stone. i don't recognise myself.

my face is covered in a fat layer, i have no definition of my cheekbones or jaw line. i was average looking and now i feel invisible.

i know how to healthily and what healthy choices are but i emotionally eat. Donuts, cookies, 200g bars of chocolate.

husband prefers me at 9 stone but of course still says i look good.

its hard to buy size 14 clothes when i was previously an 8 or a 10.

call me fat-ist but i dont have pretty looks now that i'm covered in a thick layer of fat and my best look is slim.

im dreading my next sunny country pool/beach holiday.

@5128gap

I think being an overweight child is really significant. Particularly if you grew up pre 90s before it became less acceptable to bully overweight people. There was so much negativity towards overweight children when I was growing up, from peers, and also from adults, such as teachers, who felt free to insult, bully and name call. If you were the ,'fat kid', and it was much rarer then, that was your identity and the most significant thing about you. These early experiences can have a lifelong impact, with formerly overweight children always viewing themselves as a fat person who is temporarily slim, and being hyper aware, and critical, of their adult bodies as a result. I think that back then, when slim was the norm for children, it probably wouldn't register with a slim child that they were slim, they were just 'normal'. So weight maybe wouldn't be so much part of their adult identity.

This. Funny, I’ve just posted about this on another thread. In my head I will always be the fat one...and as a kids of the 80s that means the one who’s always slightly an outsider and definitely not really good enough. I’ve been various weights but even slim, to me I’ll always be the dumpy one. I hope kids today don’t get the same.

Anothername, I think it might be a little different now, due to the increased numbers of overweight children these days, plus less tolerance of bullying.
I would certainly hope that teachers wouldn't make the type of comments they did in the 80s at least. Games teachers in particular seemed to delight in inventing cruel nicknames that the other kids would adopt.

I always felt I was the fat child 1960s or teenager 1970s
I look back at photos and I would now be average or near to thin
I was tall for my age (same height now as I was at age 10 - only 5”4’)
In my teens and twenties I was a size 10-12 (not vanity sizing) but my friends were skinnier so I always felt fat
I’m dieting at the moment - but know even when I get to my target weight will always feel overweight