12 weeks post baby...hideous haircut..tired face ..feeling rotten..and i keep buying jumper dresses..

[beansontoast]

which do not suit my comedy pear shaped body...not one bit!

i havent felt this glum about my appearance since my teens and now it seems im torturing myself by reinviting the blimmin eighties into my life.

i fear my next 'shape mistake' will be my bid to look minxy in a pencil skirt.

Q.can a woman with a big bottom and wide thighs EVER wear a pencil skirt?

I've recently bought two jumper dresses, and I'm not sure I shall ever wear either of them. I think it's an age thing with me, a desparate and misguided attempt to snatch at "fashion" before I'm too old. My stomach's too big, I will undoubtedly be asked "when's it due?"

Oh dear... but you have just made an entire person you know. You are entitled to look less than completely fabulous.

Are you eating sensibly (NOT dieting but eating lots of fruit and veg and lean protein and drinking plenty of water)?

Or are you mainlining chocolate digestives and tea like I did?

Erm... style advice you were after wasn't it... have you tried wrap dresses? I found them quite forgiving.

The answer to your Q is yes! I have big bottom and thighs, and I do own 1 pencil skirt which I bought in M&S over a year ago. It's quite flattering, and lengthwise around 1 inch or so above the knee. If you find the right one it can make you look smaller!

Step away from the shelves. Really. Remember, my love, that you had a baby really not very long ago. Go and book a haircut, even if you had one yesterday. I understand that Getting One's Eyebrows Done is also a quick route to re-fabulusing yourself. I feel for you. Don't worry.

(I do realise this is probably entirely pointless, as at this stage after DD1 I felt quite suicidal about my own vast hideousness.)

and your baby is only 12 weeks old, give yourself a break
my smallest part is my top half and waist, hips and thighs are huuuge.. I wear slouchy jeans with low pockets and a tighter top.

Good God woman, it's practically obligatory that your sense of style wobbles quite badly in the year or so after you have a baby and you end up compulsively purchasing hideous sacks that all like the same.

Thank your lucky stars it's jumper dresses! It was summer when I was post-baby and I lived in hideous smock tops that skimmed my flabby post c-section belly making me look about 6 months pregnant. God, it was a bad period.

I say:

a) give yourself a break (and buy a pair of super control Spanx pants or one of those miraclesuit thingies!)

b) when you can be arsed, start doing some exercise - not just for asthetic reasons, but because it makes you feel ,much betetr about yourself (really, it does!)

c) stay away from the smock tops and jumper dresses. Go for tailoring. Spend a bit more than you normally would on a few items you luuuurve.

xx

should say 'hideous sacks that all look the same

sorry

you guuuys!..you so sweet

yeah, twelve weeks isnt long..(but i have started to think about my graduation thingy next month..GULP)

(i am eating ..both sensibly and not sensibly a bit...prob could eat less cheese on my enormous portions of lamb ragout!)

anyway...good news about pencil skirts from you
paddingtonbear1 ...what do you wear on top?

m.inferior..you made me smile

yeah to tailoring...i can almost feel how much sense that makes!

brilliant!

Spend some money on some great skin care and perfume. A new bag and shoes also help and can be found whatever your body shape is.
Agree with MI and have your eyebrows done too.
Try and find tops which balance out your bottom half if you can, such as flared/flowing type cardis or how about a gorgeous faux fur gilet with big collar?
Fake fur collars are quite forgiving next to the hagard face of a new mother (am in the same boat, DS2 is 5 months...

www.principles.co.uk/fcp/product/-//LEATHER-TRIM-FUR-GILET/5453
This sort of thing (and it IS fake fur!)?

Don't spend lots of money on clothes - you'll lose lots of weight over the next few months, mine only started to drop off when DS was five months or so. Do go and get a really fab haircut/colour, it will make you feel much much better. Agree with Pannacotta - shoes and bags always cheer you up

pencil skirts can look verrrrrrrrry sexxxxxxxxxxy on ladies with larger rears. I think. Indeed I suspect that is whom they look best on.just don't go too short.
sorry about the sweater dresses, that sounds rough.

oh, as for the face etc - get some really nice moisturiser and some of that boots perform and protect serum (or whatever it is called) slather on religiously morning and evening. Once you've done this any foundation will go on much more easily and look much better. a week or two and you'll see a difference. do the eyebrows as MI suggests and have a nice hairdo by a charming hairdresser who makes you feel like your hair matters. Hand cream - it helps to have soft hands in the midst if it all.
O I do I remember that feeling. Indeed I still have it some days (and the youngest is 2.5 now!)

great! thats me given the nudge i was after!...pencil skirt (prob from hennes or zara)..bulky /furry ? top it is...have bag and shoes that i love already.

thanks for tips and empathy and optimism...

doesnt a little go a long way?
x

Oh, I remember this well. My DCs were both born in early winter and I spent the whole equivalent phase in shapeless fleece mainly because sick wiped off it so well.

1. Deffo agree re get a good haircut: that is your priority at the moment.

2. Follow that with some nice moisturiser, and use it religously, so every day things are getting better and better. Something like some tinted moisturised and a bit of mascara and a lip balm will make you feel a squillion times better.

3. I know fashionistas think this is v boring, but I think a couple of pair of well cut black trousers in a very forgiving material (ie bit of stretch) cover a multitude of sins.

4. Wrap tops are nice: they show off you undoubtedly huge norks and skim over other bits - Gap have got some really nice ones at the moment.

Its not the time to be looking stunningly fashionable - its all about survival until you are ready to renter the fray in my opinion.

And to finish off your new look, how about a nice black wool coat which skims your hips with a warm pink scarf/pashmina tied at the neck, to give a bit of colour next to your skin. Hoop earrings flatter everyone it seems and add a touch of easy glamour. Keep us posted

I would say it is worth buying something that fits. I didn't wear jeans for about a year after having DD1 as I couldn't fit into my pre-baby ones but stupidly didn't think 'dammit, I'll buy a pair a size - or two - up and wear those for a bit'.

(Mind you, I think I was a bit set back by the dame in my antenatal group who said she'd had to buy a pair of jeans in a size up because her old ones didn't fit so she'd gone for a size...10. About four weeks after giving birth.)

I would try -

1. good haircut
2. some nice, not-too-low-waisted boyfriend-style jeans (I have boden's wide leg jeans and they're good, also try M&S, a friend has some great ones that really disguise her baby tum). Wear with a big belt to balance out thighs.
3. crossover wrap style cardies/cardies in general, over little fitted tops - make the most of your top half.
4. Wear a necklace every day to draw atention to the top half - also makes you feel like you've made an effort but with minimal actual effort
5. Some good chunky winter boots, they will balance out the pear-shaped parts.

You might find wrap dresses are good too - I wear them over jeans, they are flattering on top and hide big bum and thighs.

agree about actually buying something bigger than pre-preg size that fits. I did this with after DD1 and it immediately made a huge difference. I bought some larger jeans, two pairs and a couple of tops and stopped beating myself up about not fitting into teh old stuff. A year later I got sick of those jeans, went on drastic diet and lost it all in about 3 weeks. I'm not talking going up to a size 10 either

Try not to buy too many things. They WILL be too big very soon. I bought some seven jeans about 16 weeks post-baby and after about 1 month of wearing them, they were too big.

I don't mean to be a killjoy but best save that money for some fabulous clothes that don't just occupy wardrobe space after a few weeks time. I'm not saying don't buy anything, but try not to get carried away.

GET A NEW BRA

I was amazed at the difference

I went to M&S when dd2 was 3 months old, thankfully she slept whilst I was measured

hoiked everything up properly

hair cut
eyebrows

get some shoes, they always fit

or if you have to buy, get something cheap and a-lined in a heavyish forgiving fabric

new bra good idea

put a bit of lippy on, nothing too brash or sparkly

snowleopard is right on every point except for the necklace bit
the baby will grab it and garotte you
(dd is 11wks)
try great earrings instead

MrsB I have had a few necklaces grabbed/torn off now I come to think of it! ... but is having your earrings ripped out (and possibly swallowed) better than a bit of harmless garotting?