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At 39 where am I supposed to shop?

90 replies

Starsandstara · 26/12/2020 12:19

(Semi light hearted!) I’m really struggling with casual clothes. I’m not ready for the full per una (they have some nice bits) but I feel way past a lot of high street stores.

I’m not a Jules etc kid of person. Probably something a bit funkier would be my bag, but I’m not sure what... I find the odd cuts at Toast a bit bleugh and unflattering.

I just want some comfortable and stylish jeans that cover my ankles, so I’m not freezing in Winter. Skinnies are out, right? Stone washer mom cuts make by arse look mahoosive.

I’m a tall 12 on top, 12/14 hips so I’d love some flattering looks.

Any suggestions? Do I just hit up Fat Face and accept my fate?

OP posts:
Clementine183 · 28/12/2020 08:55

I agree they were better a decade ago but still found them one of the best of an increasingly bad bunch!...

Sittinginmyoodie · 28/12/2020 08:58

I can't believe no one has suggested a capsule wardrobe to you yet OP! I really recommend having a look on Pinterest for ideas of a capsule wardrobe for basics.

I'm 40. I've accepted that I am no longer going to look fashionable and decided to wear what suits me. I also think I'm far too young to shop in places like fat face, white stuff, joules etc. But I'm too old for New look, top shop etc.

The good thing with a capsule wardrobe, is about picking out some classic pieces that suit you. Then you know what you're looking for when you shop. I'm short and fat, so can't really help with sizing info. I live in boot cut and skinny jeans, so I am in no ways fashionable. But I know what I like, what suits me etc and shop with that in mind.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 28/12/2020 08:59

Maybe there were good online. In store it seemed like rails upon rails of floral and patterns (which don't suit me). Definitely a pity to see it gone though.

MabelMoo23 · 28/12/2020 09:02

@Clementine183

I'm 41 so a couple of years older than you, but feel similarly. I've mainly been relying on H&M, Oasis and Warehouse. Seeing as a few people have mentioned them on this thread, can anyone tell me what the deal is with Oasis and Warehouse?! - as far as I was aware they have permanently closed, and certainly the shops near me (south London) have vanished, but as people are still mentioning them maybe I've missed something... I've been mourning them for months!

I also like Mango for some things, never really shop in Zara though I'm not sure why - possibly I have an impression of the clothes as a bit "floaty" which isn't really me, but maybe I should revisit it. In the past year I've been trying to branch out to online stuff more as well - I really like loads of stuff on Wolf & Badger but it is largely quite pricey.

Oasis and Warehouse went in to administration, but they were bought out by Boohoo so are only available online

However, many people (myself included) won’t buy them now due to being owned by Boohoo as their garment workers work in terrible conditions in Leicester, and are partly responsible for the cases of Covid swooping through Leicester. No social distancing in the factories, no masks, they pay less than minimum wage.
Absolutely atrocious company and dreadful working conditions

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/business/2020/jul/06/boohoo-leicester-factory-conditions-covid-19

Sittinginmyoodie · 28/12/2020 09:03

Should say, I get a lot of stuff from Next because of their petite range. I have a few bits from H&M and Dorothy Perking. I also like vintage style, so have a few bits from Hell Bunny and Popsy.

I mainly shop online and cannot remember the last time I bought clothes from an actual shop.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 28/12/2020 09:05

Yes Next always worth a look as another poster said, early in the season. Some of my favourite summer clothes are from Next.

Branleuse · 28/12/2020 09:07

Surely you just buy from the places you like as an individual.

Calmingvibrations · 28/12/2020 09:10

I’m reading with interest as am in the same situation. Just about to throw out some really dated, unflattering clothes...my standards have really dropped. I’m dressing older than my mum :(

Ilovewillow · 28/12/2020 09:21

I'm older than you (48) but I shop at Whistles, Zara, Me&Em, Baukjen, Hush and Mango usually. They all do plain and neutral whilst being well cut and imo reasonably stylish without necessarily too trendy.

nuitdesetoiles · 28/12/2020 09:35

I'm 46 and went through a stage in my 30s post dc of wearing pretty much fat Face and white stuff all the time... It wasn't me at all, far too mumsy and basically I realised when I hit 40 I'd lost my identity. Now I'm mainly H&M and Hush. Zara the quality is awful so I avoid it. Topshop everything is cropped! Also Gap for basics but again questionable quality. Also like retro Adidas and some Danish labels labels.

I always wear skinnies, have tried mum fit/boyfriend jeans and they look awful, I'm a size 8 with a skinny arse so I just look shapeless. Feel I need skinny jeans to show what curves I have! I like vintage stuff too and used to like Cath Kidston but styled with a denim jacket and trainers, however I think their stuff has gone off the boil a bit too...

CaveMum · 28/12/2020 09:40

I’m 39 too. As far as jeans go the best I’ve found in recent years are the Topshop Jamie skinny jeans - high waisted enough to keep my mum tum from spilling over the top and enough stretch. When it looked like Topshop might disappear I jumped on their site and bought a few extra pairs to be safe!

Most of my current wardrobe comes from Fat Face, Joe Browns, Jolie Moi and some staple work dresses from Hobbs. I’m finding myself drawn to more “classic” pieces and definitely trying to move away from cheap fashion. “Buy cheap, buy twice” as my mother likes to say!

I’m also finding that 1940s/1950s style is creeping in to my wardrobe so am contemplating buying some statement pieces from somewhere like The Seamstress of Bloomsbury or House of Foxy.

CaveMum · 28/12/2020 09:43

Now feeling a tad embarrassed to find Fat Face considered “mummsy” Blush

Sarahandduck18 · 28/12/2020 09:46

Sainsbury’s
M&S
Principles
Phase Eight

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 28/12/2020 09:47

Don't cavemum. I have one or two FF and they have done me years and are often admired. Some of it is very drab and the colours can be dreadful but it's more than OK to like what you like.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 28/12/2020 09:53

TKMaxx worth a browse, mod box section tends to be a bit younger

nuitdesetoiles · 28/12/2020 09:56

I'm veering towards fat Face again though cavemum! The pieces now are nicer than 10 years ago and the cut seems a lot less frumpy...

Branleuse · 28/12/2020 09:56

I shop at fat face for summer, m&s for jeans, next for pyjamas, h&m for jumpers, primark for tshirts, sainsburies tu for all sorts of bits.
Like a good rummage in tkmax too. Debenhams, bravissimo and m&s for underwear. Schuh for footwear

whatwouldyoudo85 · 28/12/2020 09:58

Try Esprit?

Now feeling a tad embarrassed to find Fat Face considered “mummsy”

Some of it can be but I think some of it is quite nice!

CaveMum · 28/12/2020 09:59

Thanks folks for the Fat Face reassurance!

Laquila · 28/12/2020 11:42

I find a good rule of thumb as I get older is to avoid anything with a pattern based around animal shapes...I don't mean animal print (I LOVE a touch of leopard print!) but actual whole squirrels/foxes/deer etc...that rule has never let me done.

Alfiemoon1 · 28/12/2020 12:58

I am 43 I wear top shop Jamie or Joni jeans or river island molly jeans

crispychristmas · 28/12/2020 15:04

Why fat face only in the summer branleuse ?

User9574 · 29/12/2020 02:54

I WFAC (work for a charity) so not a huge budget but love clothes and want to look nice. I made a spreadsheet on my phone (lockdown time much) with spring/summer work, autumn/winter work and same for casual. I then thought about what I want to accentuate/hide/change (my calves are great, ok waist, I am very broad of shoulder, my legs are shorter), googled styles that do that, did colour analysis on Kettlewell colours, really helpful. I have a feeling everyone has one colour that really makes them pop, mine is turquoise/teal and softer tones work best. I have bought from White Stuff but only in sale and select items in plain colours. My style is quite boring really but its getting the right fit and colour. Thats why black pieces are so good, go with everything.

User9574 · 29/12/2020 03:23

Shops I'm looking in- White Stuff and Sea Salt- great for softer colours, Cos (good priced basics), Gap (great for trousers) Boden plain dresses and raglans and some trousers possibly a skirt but it'd have to be multifunctional for work and home, FC, Whistles, Jigsaw.

Would spend more on a blazer that I can dress up or down, maybe a trouser suit then I have that option, also wider leg trousers for work.

The main looks I've got going on are summer its all about crops, I will still wear a skinny but a slimmer of leg, low cut flats, and in addition I'd wear high waist wide leg crops casually, low cut trainers. Skirts are tricky as I am short of leg but sheer panels and slightly asymetric hems work, and A line maxi for at home (Hush, some second hand Ted Baker, Boden, Monsoon).

For work in winter, plain semi structured dresses with a slight waist (Boden are good) and low cut heeled ankle boots (will see how heels go...otherwise a flat leather shoe will be appearing, thankfully some nicer designs are emerging e.g Office), wider leg trousers (illusion of long legs!) with afore mentioned heeled ankle boots or a pointed flat (tricky length wise, may get 2 pairs).

I know they aren't very trendy but I do like a flat knee boot over leggings like cord velvet ones, it looks smart on me and opens up more outfit options. I have a pair I was going to donate but now dyeing them dark brown.

I also tried on everything in my wardrobe and worked out I can style a few things differently e.g. a long turned up cuff on jeans is quite in atm and makes good use of a longer pair of jeans in summer. Also a few things are being dyed black (careful with this as its not reversible!).

Hawkins001 · 29/12/2020 04:24

Apologies slightly off topic, is the Jigsaw brand clothes any good ?

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