I am a scruffbag, please help me reinvent myself

[ScarecrowofScotland]

I've just turned 30 and have done a bit of reflecting. I have never been into clothes, hate shopping and fashion, but never really noticed just how scruffy I am I have two pairs of cheap jeans and a pair of joggers, and numerous bobbly jumpers and t-shirts. A couple of pairs of old converse trainers and my walking boots.

I have recently come into a bit of money and I just want to start my wardrobe from scratch, but I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm worried I will spend a fortune on more unflattering clothes that I don't truly like! I would be so grateful for some guidance.

As a starting point, I got a beautiful pair of brown leather knee-high boots and matching bag for my birthday, and a lovely orange and green tweed coat from Joe Browns. When I put these on I realised that I looked "together" for possibly the first time, and thought if only I could sort the rest of my stuff out I might look presentable.

A bit about me -
I live rurally and spend my leisure time either curled up with a book or exploring the great outdoors. I go into town maybe once per year! Though I do go to the village pub sometimes, or meet friends for lunch in little cafes etc from time to time. This year I became a SAHM, but looking back even my office clothes were a bit worn and ill-fitting. I would obviously be after a casual and relaxed style - I keep seeing adverts for a brand called Fairfax & Favour on social media and like the look of their stuff. I don't own any makeup and am not really interested in starting, though I do take care of my hair, skin, eyebrows etc.

Sorry this is a bit long - can anyone help sort me out??

www.fairfaxandfavor.com/collections/ladies-all/products/the-explorer-oak

These^ expensive but good quality and will last you forever. You can get slim or wide calf versions.

They do plenty of other boots, possibly get this black pair for more smart occasions or to wear with black tights:

www.fairfaxandfavor.com/collections/ladies-all/products/the-heeled-regina-black-suede-boot

I think you have tube careful with Fairfax because they are REALLY tall. Also if you go for the heeled Regina boots I would suggest getting them to size as I followed their advice and bought a size larger and my foot moved uncomfortably about in them. The heel pitch was uncomfortable for me too.

I also purchased a pair of their driving loafers and found the proportions unattractive - in that the toe box was too tapered and therefore unflattering. All personal taste of course.

However, the quality for me is not there given how expensive they are and in future I would but directly from Spain- for at least half the price.

Lastly, I am not sure how hardy the boots would be if you are in rural area- they are not an all-rounder in suede in my opinion.

@NameChangeforArmageddon21 how you described the jeans thing is exactly what I've done.

I know what shape jeans flatter me now and have a range of tops to dress them up or down. I also second the nice pair of tracksuit bottoms - I love Sweaty Betty for really top end lounge wear.

@NoMoreMuchin I am going to try and find that book. I found the house tidy woman (what's her name?) brilliant for going through and ridding my wardrobe of stuff I don't get along with. She says it has to bring you joy which 90% of my wardrobe didn't. My wardrobe is 3/4 smaller than it was in January and I've made around £800 selling my clothes.

Hi I'm 30 too. I would advise you avoid the Joules and Boden type shops.. they are ageing and might be well made, but still quite frumpy.
Better suited to those in their mid forties +.

A good pair of trainers that you keep clean would be a great start. Could you invest in a couple of pairs of decent jeans. Just go for Levis if your unsure. I quite like UniClo for long sleeves / fitted jumpers.

@NoMoreMuchin I've just bought that book for £5.99 on eBay. I have always struggled to put outfits together, it is my nemesis. I generally have to ask dh what goes together, he has saved me from some bloody ugly combinations over the years!! I love the idea of hanging outfits together.

Like others have said, jeans and a jumper is perfectly fine, esp if you are a sahm and live rurally. Just get nicer jeans and nicer jumpers. Uniqlo and monki are nice. Breton top and a grandad cardi. Nice boots/trainers, get some nike internationalists or some vans or converse. Balance your top and bottom halves out, so skinny jeans with big jumpers and barrel leg or mom jeans with more fitted tops.

Get your eyebrows and eyelashes tinted, it makes you look ‘done’ even with no make up on.

My suggestions are:- to buy better quality underwear that suits your lifestyle unless of course you already do have better undies than top layers.
Then, are you sure that you know why you are doing this. Is it that you think you 'ought to'? Or might you change slightly the way you live?
If your interests change then other things will follow, you might meet other people or go to different places.

I wish that I could go out to more dressy places, (non Covid times). We both scrub up well.

If you keep it fitted it helps. You see young girls in tweed skirts and little jackets at gun shows and they look fab because the skirts short, the legs are brown and the boobs are out.

If you see a woman wearing something nice ask where it’s from. They’ll be delighted.

I saw a woman in Waitrose on Monday wearing black glitter trainers with patent heel counters and I’m kicking myself for not asking her because I cannot find them anywhere & seemed a nice sort.

Like lots of others say have fewer clothes but ones that fit well and make you feel good. For me this goes for loungewear too, otherwise I feel frumpy in the evenings. Look after your clothes and shoes, good hangers and get a de-bobbler.

If you're out walking a lot get boots coat and trousers which look good as well as work well - I've recently got some Acai leggings I love. Yet to find the magic coat solution!

Finally some nice PJs! Enjoy shopping

@MrsBobDylan I hope you find it as useful as I did, I've bought it for a few other people over the years and they've really rated it too.

Buying basics from shops like COS and Massimo Dutti goes a long way. I have some very simple tops and light cardigans from both that paired with jeans instantly make me look smarter.

Buy good quality fabrics over polyester wherever possible. Even places like H&M have 100% cotton or 100% linen in their collections if you hunt them down.

Get a couple of decent blazers in neutral colours. You may wear them very occasionally, but when you need to look a little more formal you'll be glad you already have a couple.

Own at least two black dresses. I have a silk-linen black dress, calf-length that cost around 100 pound at least five years ago. At the time I was a little shocked to find myself buying something at that price (like you I was just thirty when I bought it) but it has been endlessly useful for smart-casual in the summer. I have another not nearly as nice dress of a similar length from Zara, but it gets a lot of wear. Sometimes you need to look neutral/somewhat smart, and just chucking on a black dress, some decent shoes and getting out of the door means not needing to think too much.

Make sure you have at least a couple of sets of nude underwear and a couple of sets of black underwear so that you've never got the issue of your underwear showing.

One thing I have found helpful is to take photos of myself in day light then I do a lot of screen shotting and cropping of items I like. It's amazing how much I can not like an item I thought I did when I actually put it next to my skin and see that the colour or style isn't right.

I have also been obsessed with Kettlewells, I haven't bought anything from there and probably won't but the colour ideas are great and there is a colour quiz.

I've gone for hiker style boots, turnup and boyfriend jeans with a slightly distressed look, lighter not chunky jumpers/cardigans, a white shirt, plain well fitting tees, long sleeve cotton tops in my neutrals, gem stone jewellery from etsy. Looking for a couple of decent pairs of trainers i.e. leather/proper support. I have my eye on a Reiss coat but may settle for a tailored one I saw in Next. I also have a parka style coat. I also need to think about smart occasions and going back to the office.

Please don’t wear striped Breton tops

It’s great you have good boots and a bag but can I suggest you don’t wear them together? Try to find a small local boutique and go there for advice.

I am about your age but have been a mother for about a million years, and please for the love of all that is holy, avoid the Joules type shops. Unless you are size 8 and wearing a handful of their summer dresses, they will age you terribly. I fell into the trap - got a bit Boden smocky a few years ago, because I'd put on a bit of weight after baby number 2 and felt I was past it a bit. My mum, usually a libertarian in matters of fashion, RAGED at me for it. In hindsight she was right, and I'm back to Zara and H&M, though I've changed my style once again to something more basic, and I try to avoid a lot of patterns etc. I've just bought a pair of Zara jeans off ebay - they're black, straight leg but close fitting, with a bit of a ragged hem. I'm going to wear them with my Docs and a sort of pinky fawn topshop sweater I also got off ebay. That sounds like shit written down, but I know it's going to look great, and my preferred non work style, which is practical with a bit of an edge.

You are 30, do not buy from the John Lewis link on the first page. I’m 45 and it’s too old for me!

Agree re Joules- it is more for my Mum's generation- 70+

My DM is 80+ and wouldn't touch Joules. (Doubt she's even aware of its existence.)

(Each to their own.)

Karen Millen, LK Bennett and Reiss are my go to for clothes, you can never look frumpy in them

I'm 47 and wouldn't touch Joules. Breton tops are so boring. You can find a better style.

You need to start by appraising your shape. I have broad shoulders so straight away anything high necked is out on me

Sort our your colours... you can get a basic idea using charts online

Once you have those parameters established it’s much easier

How are you getting on OP? Get yourself an online stylist consult - there’s loads around and they’ll help you with your body shape and what colours work best on you. If you’re on Facebook, the style sisterhood is a great group. I’d spend some time on Pinterest too, save everything you like then go back and find the common pieces. My wardrobe base colour is navy, my colours are burgundy, khaki, and rust. My two accents are leopard print and gold. I can pull anything out and make an outfit without thinking about it now. I just need new trainers and some winter shoes that aren’t boots, and I’m set.

Hey you are what you are
Best advice is just be happy with yourself
And everything will full into place

I would suggest younger brands like Monki for casual, and maybe &Other Stories for more dressed up look.

I signed up to Stitch Fix last year because I wanted a to try different styles and brands to what I usually buy, and it has really helped me to widen my range - here's a £15 off code for anyone who wants to try it. You have to answer loads of questions about your style and lifestyle but it's worth it.
www.stitchfix.co.uk/invite/ffztmxfkwh?sod=w&g=w&som=c

Some of the younger women I work with like Zara but I find the quality a bit hit and miss. It's annoying you can't have a good old wander around the shops right now but that's what I like about the Box delivery lazy cow

You're going to need things that go ok with the coat. Green and orange coat and brown boots and bag suggests natural colours like autumn leaves might be your thing?

Go through your current clothes to find out which neck lines suit you.

There's nothing wrong with jeans and jumpers or t-shirts if that's what you like. Just make sure they fit well, are a flattering cut for you, colours that suit you, and not worn out or lost their shape.

FWIW I like Joe Browns their clothes don't look frumpy on me, it depends what you buy and how you wear it. When buying from them pay attention to which things fit and who was modelling it. If you're the same shape as one of the models you can know instantly if something will look good on you or not before ordering.

I swear by having my colours done with House of colour. Then I went on to get my style done. It’s not cheap but I feel it’s better value than spending the same amount of money on things that just aren’t right. Now I know what colours suit me (I’m an Autumn) and what style of clothes. Now I dress for my season and style rather than trying to stay in fashion! A less expensive outfit in the right colours can be more flattering than more expensive stuff in the wrong colours.