Is it really possible to improve how we look?

[Yogapoga123]

I've totally lost track when it comes to looking after myself. I've put on weight in lockdown, feel fat and incredibly sluggish and my clothes all feel tight. I struggle to exercise and I comfort eat. Today was the classic catching myself in a shop mirror moment, wearing shabby clothes and I just thought 'wtf, I look so awful'.

I think some of my lack of motivation is down to thinking, well what's the point. I'm not sure whether I can really make a difference to how I look. I fear it's too late!

So, please tell me, what differences are within reach? Is it really possible to make improvements without buying a whole new wardrobe or different lifestyle? And if so, what exactly? I just don't know where to start.

Please help me motivate myself.

For me I am concentrating solely on diet. I do plan on encompassing exercise but for the moment it’s a low carb/Keto diet and I’ve completely changed my figure and mindset. Because I’m now slimmer my clothes are more current and I guess trendy 🥴

So that would be my advice. Diet first and foremost.

Babes I totally relate. I too have put on weight (comfort eating) and still working so I’m stressed/overwhelmed too.

I feel fat scruffy ugly old frumpy dumpy middle aged (I am middle aged but don’t want to look it!)

I’ve given up on beauty treatment and pampering so I literally brush teeth, wash hair and cut nails but that’s about the extent.

Sorry can’t offer advice but I think a lot of us are in this boat!

It’s really possible, I’ve got a treadmill at home (in front of the tv) and have developed leg muscles that I’ve never seen before, at 45. Was less than £200.

Also an exercise bike which is even easier to motivate myself for as it’s all sitting down

You can do it!

If it all seems overwhelming, choose one thing to try and improve. If you do improve it, move on to the next thing.

Yes it's definitely possible.
You can't make yourself beautiful but with effort over time you can make yourself look good.

I put on huge amount of weight after my son was born. I lost 2.5 stone slowly but steadily - no silly diet fads just being mindful. I also got really into skincare at this time, my skin is glowing in the morning and that gives me a huge boost of confidence. Add in a good hair cut. And a nice lipstick.

I just wear cool jeans and jumpers now but I have a lot more confidence being lighter and having nice skin. For me that's made a huge difference.

So I think concentrate on a couple areas that are realistic... The last thing you want is to feel like a failure. You've got this! 💐

Eurgh just read that back it sounds so smug, I really didn't mean that! I was so so down I really know how you feel.

I hear ya. Lockdown. Break up, 3 small kids, boredom.
Fat head and body now. I want to change

It didn't sound smug! Well done. OP I'm in such a rut with my clothes, I look like a bag lady most of the time.

Just make small changes everyday. Start with small manageable ones and re - learn how good it feels to take control and take care of yourself. Think marathon not sprint - look at the long term as opposed to quick fixes.

On the clothes front... I'd say create an easy mix and match wardrobe depending on your lifestyle. I spend my days running around park with my son so I don't bother wearing dresses or heels! I have a few pairs of jeans that fit well (ignore what size they say... Go with what looks best), some nice jumpers, I just wear a vest under, 3 pairs of boots including some "stylish" (ha) wellies, a good coat and some nice hats. I've found hats can really elevate an outfit and give it some character. Might not work for you but that's how I manage the clothing situation.

Wow, a lovely lot of replies, thanks everyone. Encouraging words and really helpful to hear from those who've been there and made steady changes. Doadeer not smug at all, that's amazing progress well done.

It seems like the weight loss thing is pretty crucial really, as it affects lots of other areas - like how I feel about myself when I look in the mirror, the horrible tight fit of clothes, especially trousers uuurgh, then the whole not wanting to buy more until I lose weight but at the same time looking scruffy and feeling yuk. If I can tackle that, then maybe it's a bit of a snowball effect. So hard though - I have no energy and just want to wallow and eat crisps.

I'meatingveryhealthily I admire your willpower, I really do. I just can't seem to motivate myself to exercise, not even in my own house. In the past I've run a bit, and done classes, but I can't seem to muster it up this time. It's all mindset isn't it. How can I scare myself into getting off my arse..!?

If anyone has tips on skincare, please share. At the moment, I sometimes use an oil based cleanser (have dry skin) and I slather on a bit of moisturiser at bedtime but it's nothing very high end.

I think I'd be happy to spend a bit of £ and become a bit more high maintenance but I don't know what to buy or where to start!

I feel just like you OP. My problem is that I get a surge of motivation where I eat well and exercise and start to feel great, then something happens and I slip back into being a binge eating couch potato. I don’t know how to find balance!!

Body Shop ginger shampoo - I've just started using it and am astonished how much better my hair looks (I was using expensive Paul Mitchell stuff and it looked pretty reasonable before but now it is all advert-shiny). Smells gorgeous too. I am an evangelist for it!

That's a very low effort improvement that happens instantly, so maybe a good start.

I hear ya! Getting dressed up feels so pointless. Only place I go is to the shops. I had my hair cut before lockdown two which made world of difference

I've lost motivation to eat well and exercise but I force myself to wear my 'good' clothes to even go shopping. It makes me feel better as otherwise I'd be wearing jeggings and a jumper every day. I also agree on having a good haircut and putting on a bit of makeup. Good luck

Ah I so hear you!

I caught sight if myself recently in a shop window. It was not good. All mum hair, sensible anorak and backpack.

I walked into the nearest nice shop and bought myself a smart new coat in the sale. There are loads on at the moment. I have promised myself only to wear the anorak if I am actually going on a hike. All other times, the fancy coat.

I felt better immediately!

Then I came home, dug out all my skincare stuff that had long been abandoned and am now slithering it on morning and night. For me, a combo of glycolic acid as an exfoliator, and decent moisturiser works wonders. I just need to remember to do it www.superdrug.com/Skin/Face-Skin-Care/Cleansers/Face-Toner/Superdrug-Naturally-Radiant-Glycolic-Tonic-5%25-300ml/p/779938

Then I got a decent hair cut. Big tick.

Now I'm doing the 5:2 diet and have lost a pound a week. I can still normally 5 days a week, so I'm not missing out.

Small things individually but I feel like I've got a bit of control back now and that feels really good!

Re motivation, I think it’s easier as I’m single - no one to sit in the sofa with (boo) and I want to look good for the search for husband number 2

@TotoroPotoro

Ah I so hear you!

I caught sight if myself recently in a shop window. It was not good. All mum hair, sensible anorak and backpack.

I walked into the nearest nice shop and bought myself a smart new coat in the sale. There are loads on at the moment. I have promised myself only to wear the anorak if I am actually going on a hike. All other times, the fancy coat.

I felt better immediately!

Then I came home, dug out all my skincare stuff that had long been abandoned and am now slithering it on morning and night. For me, a combo of glycolic acid as an exfoliator, and decent moisturiser works wonders. I just need to remember to do it www.superdrug.com/Skin/Face-Skin-Care/Cleansers/Face-Toner/Superdrug-Naturally-Radiant-Glycolic-Tonic-5%25-300ml/p/779938

Then I got a decent hair cut. Big tick.

Now I'm doing the 5:2 diet and have lost a pound a week. I can still normally 5 days a week, so I'm not missing out.

Small things individually but I feel like I've got a bit of control back now and that feels really good!

I think this is brilliant! Just the one simple thing of ditching the anorak has started a chain reaction! I would buy a few new bits and pieces, they don't have to be expensive, get your hair cut if it needs it and look after your skin a little and it might give you the lift to start doing something else! It's really tough at the moment for lots of us, no point beating yourself up because you're not exercising or losing weight . Be kind to yourself!

Have a read or listen to the book Atomic Habits, it is about making tiny changes which add up over time. It makes choices/decisions seem less overwhelming, I would recommend bookmarking some bits and going back to it. It is hard work to make changes and you need patience to see the results, quite a lot of patience in my case.

@Yogapoga123 sorry you're not feeling great. I can empathise as felt similarly after a long period of illness during which I did basically nothing for my appearance. Some things that worked for me include: finding some skincare products that I like and actually make a difference. After some trial and error I've been using Green People's age defy+ range which I love and have used for a couple of years now. Maybe think of a few skin struggles you have (mine felt dull and tired) and research your options, many offer samples. Also the best thing I've done in ages with my wardrobe is to get rid of anything that I don't wear and that makes me feel a bit crap (bad memories, no longer flattering, whatever). As for lifestyle, do you do any exercise? I've found Lucy Wyndham Reads exercise videos on YouTube really good for feeling less achy and more energised for someone who hates exercise like me if you already exercise you might not find it so useful.

Agree with pp who suggests making changes over time to avoid feeding overwhelmed and possibly worse rather than better!

I find a bit of light bronzer with a bit of sparkle in it brightens my face. Concealer for red bits. I like a bit of eyeliner too. A good sleep (haha, I write this after midnight and should be in bed). Make vegetables a big part of your evening meal.

Find a style of clothes that you like, have a look online for ideas of things that flatter your figure and look comfy too.

Would you ever consider juicing for a while. It has honestly changed my skin hair and even my face shape as the puffy eyes and checks have gone it has been a game changer for me.

I've ordered some Bobby Brown colour corrector for my dark circles. It's a start!

Will also use my Ordinary serum and fake tan.

Like a pp, I'm also wearing my fancy coat, even if I'm just on the school run.